What Wasn't Part of the Intro

I just posted an introduction, but couldn’t really answer many questions because of one thing in particular: I just don’t know. Straight and simple, and this explanation is very long and complicated for an introduction. I was referred here by someone who was giving me another way to figure out what was going on rather than getting the whole “YOU ARE AN ANGEL OF GOD SENT IN THESE LAST DAYS!” spiel over and over again by various individuals.

My story isn’t exactly simple. I grew up Mormon, which is a version of Christianity that is known for many things, though I was always one of those who refused to take “Just have faith!” as a good reason for anything. Nothing ever seemed to add up so, eventually, I started to branch out. When my father started reading my journals, however, he was very VERY unhappy about me questioning the Mormon religion and spent a lot of time secluding me from the world completely. Spent a couple of years unable to watch anything but Mormon movies, read books of Jesus, etc. Cut off from everyone and everything magic. Couldn’t even watch Harry Potter, of all things. Though my mom didn’t have me get rid of or burn my tarot- thank you Mom- I did have to promise her that I wouldn’t use them while I was at home.

My family then spent most of my last years at home trying to keep me there. No way to learn how to drive, all my money stolen, they tried to get my fired from my job several times, and things were bad. However, I managed to get out at 19 through couch-surfing and eventually moving in with my grandmother, who helped bridge the gaps in my adulthood. Now I’m living with my s/o away from the religion, across the country from my family, and able to fully explore and try to understand what has been going on this whole time.

You see, what my dad found out was that I had asked a Wiccan girl to help me out with a demon problem I’ve been having- and seem to still be having- since I was a small child. He had me blessed when I was younger because of this issue and I guess he was scared that I would “lose my light” or some weird, convoluted thing like that.

I couldn’t really tell you the first time I saw something out of the ordinary. I remember my third birthday being the first time I was truly scared by something, though. My sister and I had shared one growing up because she was born a couple of weeks after me, though two years younger. She had gotten one of these little wind-up walking toys that I liked since it was a T-rex and I loved dinosaurs. Of course, little me wanted to try to get it to walk down the stairs into our basement and- of course- it just kept falling over so I eventually just kind of threw it down the stairs in some toddler logic that it made sense. It fell down the stairs one way or another. Well, when it hit the bottom of the stairs, it bounced off into the basement and I went down after it, naturally.

When I got there I remember stopping beside the door frame because something felt wrong. Where I was basements were more small storage areas with the water heater and such, cement floor and wooden beams. Usually had one of those dingy lights that you had to pull the string on, though it was off then.

When I peeked around the corner, looking for the toy, I was confused not to find it there, but when I looked up I realized why something felt wrong. Next to where we stored our snowboards, a very tall man was standing there, staring down at me. I remember that his expression was almost peaceful- though I’m not sure if that’s my mind filling in blanks now. However, wherever the light from outside the stairwell touched him, he was completely invisible. Either way, there was something VERY wrong about him and I needed to let my mom know so I went back up the stairs and told my mom there was a man downstairs.

She still remembers this event, too. Neither of us could find that wind-up toy either and she never saw a man down there, but I didn’t just see some broom and imagine it as a man. We stared at each other for a few seconds and there is no mistaking that.

Generally I can write this off as a one-off event, but several years later I’m sure I saw that man again. I was six or seven by this time and we had moved into… I think it was an apartment? If I remember correctly… anyway, I started to have these repetitive dreams of being in a void black maze intermittently broken by a mirror that showed me myself, though several years older. They were the only reason why I knew where the turns were most of the time and I was running so I never got a really good look because I was being chased by a large, wolf-like thing. It had white fur and blind eyes, though the fur looked thin and patchy with disease. Instead of front paws, it had long fingers and I could hear its claws skittering on hard surfaces behind me. I’d run, I’d slip through a turn and hide while it passed, but it always came skittering to a stop and continued behind me.

When I’d wake up from these dreams in the middle of the night, I would sit up and see someone sitting in my room, watching me. I know it was the same man from the basement and he would tell me things like “you can’t escape me” and “you are mine”. I wouldn’t be able to sleep or move until I heard someone else in the house. Couldn’t leave my bed, to scared to call for help, etc. Then, after I’d have the dream and encounter, I would get very, VERY sick. Fever, chills, couldn’t stand, couldn’t eat, could hardly drink, just laid by the toilet mostly. I’d get better a couple of days later, then I’d have the dream and encounter again… then I’d get sick all over again. Each time I had the dream, that wolf was different, more diseased, more grotesque… hungrier.

I got my first blessing at that time. My dad had someone come in- I think it was my grandpa- and they prayed that God would protect me and let me heal.

Well, the dreams and encounters stopped for a while. I did heal, though my mom did get two grey kittens (Baby Blue and Patches based on the songs) that went missing mysteriously a couple of days afterward. I remember something to do with the dryer, but when I was asking my mom about it a couple of years ago to get the real story (most parents tell you they ran away when they died or something), my mom shook her head and told me that she truly had no idea. They just disappeared. That’s when my sister pitched in and said “I remember. They were in the laundry room and the Tall Man came to take them.”

The name “The Tall Man” is a fairly recent nickname, but it’s kind of stuck as a description replacement for my family. As I was secretly keeping away the fact that I was dealing with this entity, apparently my family was as well. Everywhere from the thing tucking in my brother one night to lifting the door away from where it leaned in order to watch my sister when she was pretending to sleep (the door wasn’t attached to the frame yet due to renovations, but my sister leaned it against her doorway for privacy).

Some more information before I get into what I’ve done and why I think it’s centered on me:

• A ton of our childhood photos have this weird light streak that casts a shadow, sometimes it’s just a winding shadow that looks like it’s wrapped around us. I don’t have any to show as an example because my dad refused to send them as part of his “it’s Satanic and I’m not encouraging your behavior” thing. (Thinking about it, though… I might try again)

• There was a time that everyone around my house kept seeing my doppelgänger. I’d be in the kitchen doing dishes when my sister saw me walking down the stairs, my brothers saw me outside staring at the house while I was actually down the street at church, one night I sat on my brother’s bed when I know for a fact I was in my room doing my nightly call with my s/o at that time, etc.
•Since I was young, whenever I’ve been in danger I’ve heard some man’s voice telling me what to do to survive it. When I was drowining as a kid, when I ran away from home at 13 and it instructed me back to safety and who not to trust hitchhiking with (he managed to even get me a greyhound bus ticket, oddly enough), and other such things.

•I used to go on walks every night to get out of the house and the bull in order to breathe and be myself for a little bit. Sometimes I’d be with friends as we’d aimlessly walk wherever seemed most quiet and it became apparent to me that I was being followed. Started out as my friend pointing out that someone was taking pictures of us, then that same truck pulling up on one of my walks after I heard the voice instruct me to hide. Two men got out, talking about finding a girl- I assume me- looked around the area I frequented for a little bit, then they left again. Once I saw the same car circle my route eight times, each time the driver- who I think was male- was wearing a different, hastily put on wig. The eighth time I hid away again and watched as they slowed down, rolled down their window, and kept looking over where I should have been going down that route before driving off. Changed my route after that.

• I kept getting weird, cryptic messages from people. Sometimes it would be left in my emails, sometimes friends’ accounts would be taken while they were usually at work or sleeping and they would send me these messages. They all seemed to be sent by the same person with the same sentence structure, writing style, and word choice. They were always instructions like “find the one with the split soul” or “do not trust the mist”. I always gave them about as much thought as a grain of salt and eventually just told them to eff off and I’m not desperate enough to follow some stupid goose chase. Haven’t heard from them since. Haven’t seen anyone following since I moved across the state, and since moving across the country. Wonder if it was some sick joke from an ex.

• One night, I left a friend’s house alone after he had fallen asleep during a movie and a saw a dog-like thing underneath a street lamp across the street from me, staring at me. It had a head kind of the shape of a bull terrier’s, but weirder and longer. Like a bone-like tumor was growing there instead of the natural skull shape. It didn’t have ears or a tail either. Generally when something is alive, you can see its slight muscle twitches and breathing- a very, very light sway of the mind keeping its balance along with blood bumping through everything… but this thing didn’t have that. I thought it was someone’s freaking sculpture placed out to freak everyone out it was that still and unmoving. I stared at it for so long, feeling something wrong about it before I started backing away toward the end of the street. Don’t know why I didn’t go back inside the house, but I didn’t. Its head followed me and it looked… weird. I don’t know why I got the feeling that it knew me somehow and that, somehow, I knew it but I did. Backed down the street, turned the corner, and watched my back all the way home.

Anyway… I broke up my family before I left. My mom is divorcing my dad, my grandma is standing in the way of my father’s control over everyone, and things have been better for all of them. We had all been dealing with a lot and my father already blamed me and my lack of faith and interest in magicks for the things going on in the house. My brother one night felt sudden anger fill him and when he yelled out, the breakers flipped for that entire side of the house. Things were going missing, you could hear people walking when no one was there, and most people who were sensitive to spiritual activities- myself included- couldn’t stand to be inside the house for long. They’d feel it just turning down the street. It was a dense… sickness that just twisted everything up.

It eventually became the straw that broke the camel’s back when my dad was possessed while I was visiting for my birthday. He was in his room, sleeping, when my mom and I were talking over something. We suddenly heard him laughing, but it was… weird. My dad is one of those who have a very deep and booming voice, like the kind of deep that scares children even when he’s being gentle and speaking quietly. This laugh, however, was more of a cackle and then he started to growl and bark. At first we thought he was dreaming and started to kind of laugh and went to the door to listen. While we stood there, he started to speak in a couple different voices. Two different ones I think. There was the higher pitched cackle that would tell the other to shut up, then the deeper, whispery one that would growl and make this weird barking sound that was not like a dog or person impersonating a dog.

My mom opened the door and called to him to try to wake up, but he told her to shut up. She tried again to wake him as she turned on the light and he had a blanket over his face, sitting up at a 45 degree angle or something (not a normal sitting position AT ALL.) He started to growl at her and barked out a “TURN OFF THE LIGHT” in this really weird voice. He kept huffing and growling. It scared my mom really bad and she actually started to film it on her phone. She sent it to her mom, who then called on an old friend for an exorcism. His friend was supposed to come over for something he had borrowed, but he stayed and sat in there with my dad trying to say he wasn’t going to leave until he got his friend back. No one moved the blanket and he held that weird 45 degree angle for over two hours without moving. Kept saying things like “he’s not here anymore” and “I don’t know you” to his friend, then to my mom he said “but I know you… I know what you’ve DONE.”

The one thing that still sticks out to me for some reason is the way his fingers looked weird as they restrd on top of the blanket he held over his face. They weren’t gripping it right or something. Not sure exactly what it was, but his hands just weren’t right and it bothers me.

My mom didn’t go back in until after the exorcist was done. My dad was exhausted and he described the experience as being ‘there’, but not in control and that he could see everything even though the blanket was over his head. He could even see me in the front room on the other side of the wall and knew what I was doing.

My grandma and I convinced my mom to come with me to the other side of the state after that. We got everyone out of that house. My family is a lot happier now, actually. I’ve been sending my dad things to improve his life quality- won’t let him send me anything because I know he’ll use that to control and guilt me- but I figure if he’s still visiting my siblings I may as well protect them by keeping him well rested and relatively stress free. Keep him feeling loved and connected in some way. Two years later and it’s been working so there’s that.

My family hasn’t had haunts and demons since either. Not my dad, not my mom, not my siblings. They’re happier too. Healthier. There are a lot of scars they still need to face, but they’re doing well and so am I.

Only… there’s one complication.

When I flew out to live with my s/o, I was still jobless for the first month. While he was at work one day, I passed by the middle room and saw him standing in there, staring at the wall all Blaire Witch style. Disappeared after a couple of seconds, but it was weird. We both have seen things around since so I did what I could to make boundaries and push it out.

Now… something tall and pale, tall and formless circles our house at night. Both of us see it almost every night. Once I thought I was looking at the white shape of our pillar outside, but then it stepped toward the window and turned to walk away. It just circles the house.

The night before last I was suddenly having a hard time breathing and my pulse was weird so I put my cat in her harness and leash and went outside for air. It was about one in the morning I think, but my cat started to tear at her harness and try her hardest to get out of it when she reached the end of the walkway. I moved over to grab her and as I looked in the direction she had been looking, I saw that pale figure standing by our hedge only a few feet away. It was so tall and I couldn’t really make out any details on it, just that it was huge and my mind wanted to slide away from it. So I picked up my cat and moved back inside. A few minutes later I had my shoes on and a small LED pen light and I went out with my s/o. Nothing was there, of course.

I don’t know why this is happening or what this is. My grandma is a Cherokee woman who grew up in a Navajo reservation, she’s a medicine woman and has plenty of stories of dog-like entities that tried to get into her house when she was younger. My sister says she encountered a similar dog that she thought she about hit, but it impossibly vanished before anything could happen. And me? I have more than enough to say this is weird, and I’m ready to start getting actual answers for once instead of the routine bull.


Thank you for sharing your story here. There are a lot of great people here who will help you try to figure out what’s going on and offer assistance. :bouquet:


Thank you. :} It’s been a long line of headache trying to figure this one out.

You’ll have a lot of company here from recovering Mormons (including me). Lots of threads about dealing with Mormon stuff.

I can say that I would start learning to ground and banish. If you want a banishing ritual that isn’t Christian-based, Jason Miller’s Protection and Reversal Magick calls upon Hecate. It’s <$15 on Amazon (e-version). Awesome book.


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That’s excellent to hear, actually. Is there a particular group or discussion where people have posted?

Just search for Mormon. There are a lot of threads. I don’t know if any are better than others, for your particular situation(s).

Here’s a recent thread with three of us chiming in. A thought of my next step

If you have any issues with baptisms for the dead, let me know. I have a private message I sent to someone about this.

Luckily I refused to do those fairly early on because I felt that my soul would be pissed if someone dedicated me to a god that said that I couldn’t follow… my dreams… and had to serve my husba- ohhh. Yeah. Right. That’s… got it. XD But anyway, thank you! I’ll start looking in on some when I’m a bit less pressed for time.

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No worries. Welcome to the sub.

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Definitely a very welcoming community!

Still looking for information on what’s going on, though. Know anyone who might? Of where I may be able to ask?

Well, the problem with definitively diagnosing the situation is that there are too many things it could be.

I want to state right now that this is simply my opinion. One of the nice things about this place is that lots of other people will have different opinions.

For example, this paragraph :

This one small part could mean anything. Saying it was a demon without interacting with them is going to make some of us wonder whether it was a parasite of some kind, a shadow person of some kind, and maybe a demon. I would consider the last less likely than the other 2, having worked with some (but not all, by any means). I wasn’t there, so I can’t really say what happened there.

This could’ve been a shadow person (I’ve experienced calm ones that weren’t aggressive). Or it could’ve been another entity trying to look like one.

As I read you accounts, what seemed most likely to me was that it was one of more parasitic entities that latched onto the strife going on in the household. Could’ve been several that followed their food sources as they went here and there.

Could be that the doors opened by religious fervor were too much for your Dad to handle. Could be he thought he was talking to Angels and he was wrong. Could be that his openly challenging anything that conflicted with his beliefs caused him to create more psychological pressure than he could take. It’s hard to say without being there.

I don’t know or remember what you were looking for with regards to a “path”. I would look for a set of spiritual practices that you feel comfortable with that include some sort of meditation and a banishing ritual.

For example, when I first started down this path, I have (have) more of a demonolatry practice and instead of the LBRP, I used a banishing rite based on Hecate. I meditated to black flame mantras on youtube. I started evoking and took it from there. Similarly to you, I had a bunch of paranormal stuff happen along the way and I would sneak books on learning to be psychic from the library, to try to figure out what was going on (no Wiccans to ask in my case).

If you’re looking for a lighter path, someone here can absolutely help you. Not my area, so I shouldn’t give direction.

Hope this makes some kind of sense. I’m tired and not feeling well, but wanted to answer.