Ways to troll Jehova's witnesses when they come to your door


#1

What would you do when you open the door to find them at your threshold?


#2

I’d answer the door with the Satanic bible and say “Are you here for the book club?”


#3

Invite them inside for a friendly conversation, offer them a bottle of water, an apple, and some knowledge. :apple: :snake:


#4

My friend Corey told them that he would love to talk about their God if they would listen to the Word of his God afterwards. When they asked who his God was, he responded with, “I worship at the altar of Corey.” They said, “that’s stupid,” and then left. Never troubled him again.


#5

Answer door with all black contacts in


#6

Ask them how they can claim to be “The only True Christians” when they don’t even have a line of apostolic succession leading back to the original body of Christ.


#7

Tell them to give you all their money and that it is Gods Test to prove to you he is real. To do that for the next year. And if they object or try to go against it, then say it is not their place to question GOD and they should stop being a sinful brat and obey.


#8

Open the front door wide so they can see all your Eshus and nice big Ogun cauldron with all the trimmings! (I did this once and the JW’s never returned to my door).


#9

A colleague of mine is Jehovah’s whitness and he said they aren’t allowed back to people’s houses if you answer the door completely naked (especially if you’re a female and they’re male) as lusting for anyone but their partner is apparently a hideous crime, and apparently people have been taken to their ‘council’ about it happening. Haha.

Don’t know if it’s true, but he is a JW, so I’d assume he’s telling the truth


#10

Between the JW and Mormon community they used to come to my home on a weekly basis. Drove me crazy. I was alone one day and I live in a very rural area where my nearest neighbor is over 3 miles away. We had a couple in the area force themselves through someone’s door and robbed them so I answered the door holding my gun. It’s been months now since they have graced me with their knock at the door. :rofl:


#11

Never answer the door! They’re undercover cops or Feds.

In rough neighborhoods we are well aware of cops posing as “Jehovah’s Witnesses” or “Mormons”.

And is it just me, or does it seem that some of the Jehovah’s Witnesses women are hot? I mean, I’m male and I’ll answer the door completely naked if I see attractive women at my door! :wink::rofl::sunglasses::thinking:


#12

I send them away directly and immediatly :slight_smile:


#13

i like to be playing the intro to year zero by ghost


#14

Just saying…

jehovahs-witness-make-em-earn-it


#15

a classic.
Pull out the silver baphomet i keep inder my shirt, greet them all cheery and happy at the door.
“oh good, are you here to hear the word of my lord and savior Satan?”

Then as they leave, trace the baphomet while blessing them in latin.
“In nomene de nostri, satanas luciferi Excelsi.”


#16

Once they came to my door, long ago, I guess 12 years ago. I let hem in with :skull_and_crossbones: mind. Then I said “How you dare to come to those people who have been victims of yours and similar religion now and past?” They seemed confused and were asking what I mean with that. “Why so confused?” replied I them “You know well how what has happened in history if you ever been to school of course. In that case I would forgive you your truculent visit. Ave Satanas!”
They rushed away and did not look back. Never seen any of them again.


#17

lol this remind me of funny episode,they were bothering my grandfather in a friday super early,they woke him up and my grandfather is like a gangster he went to the door with the gun in hand and said * Listen,if you are really curious to meet this god i can give you a faster passage so you can stop bothering my sleep …

lol,they ran and never bothered him again


#18

I have met JWs in 3 important occasions.

Summer, many year ago, 2 JWs (M&F) in low cost suits ring at my door. I let them start saying bullshits till I decided to interrupt and say “sorry, this guy you call “god” is asking you to say those nonesense things and to give those magazines to strangers , even if it’s so hot… and it’s sunday… how much he pays you?” When they said “nothing, noone pays us for this” i replied " Come back tomorrow i can gave you the same job for the same amount of money, but at least i’m real"

Episode 2, at my office, monday morning , i saw them an old man and a joung guy, near the door , i recognized them, (It’s easy, stupid faces, low IQ, a bag for magazines and low cost suits, at least in Italy this is the standard) but they didn’t ring, that’s very curious, so i decided to ask if they needed some help. They didn’t answered whith “we are stupid JWs, the end is coming” but they said something like “we are looking for smart people, we have something interesting to share, we have this book…” so i said “OK, don’t waste my time, regarding that book the white trash bin is for paper.”

3rd episode, 2 JWs (F&F), I was in a hurry on the street , walking in their direction, when i was close enought one of them said “sorry, may i ask you something?” without watching at them or slowing my steps i answered “shut up, idiot”, and left.
I know that I’m not a good person.

Sorry for my english.


#19

well my fantasy way if I had my own place would be this. Invite them on for tea and when they’re settled hit the button on the ultra sound and video player and play this:

Then my buds and gals all dressed like that would pile in dancing and singing profanely etc etc with strobes and lights and demon dressed people. But man you’d have to be really prepped. Maybe magic genie wish. Lot of songs from them alone and that’s tame.


#20

Invite them in, they’ll have no idea what to do because they’ve never made it that far :wink: