Ways to troll Jehova's witnesses when they come to your door


#21

Invite them in if their attractive and make a Jehova Witness Porno. You will need to do demonick magick before they ever show up on the scene to attract the right group.


#22

Those Mormon elders are HOT. Hit on them. If they go away, you get peace and quiet. If they don’t…well, no rest for the wicked!


#23

Yes, when they’re on their mission, Mormons need to keep a strict exercise routine.


#24

Haha, you made me laugh, because 6 years ago i let them in because both where really HOT, very tall and muscled with blue eyes, hahaha, i was thinking: what shit is that? living porn?!?
But back then i was rather in the Buddhist side lol, love for everybody, come on in baby, i will take care of you!:joy:


#25

You have me curious as to what they look like.


#26

I answered the door with just a towel wrapped around me. The two young girl’s pre-planned sermon was severely broken. They had a hard time trying to express their rehearsed lines. Kept staring at my 6 pack.

Before that day, they had never seen sexy. I forever violated their virgin minds with wicked thoughts burning inside their heads and exploding in the juices between their legs. Their mother standing afar by the blue van, eyes wide open, mouth covered. Be careful who’s door you knock on Bitches!

(Yes, that’s me)


#27

Holy shit, you’re hot!


#28

Invite them in. Offer them a cup of tea with ingredients that have previously been dedicated to Satan or Asmodeus in order to convert them to the lhp. Afterall they are dedicated to what they are doing, even if misguided. This dedication and commitment is a great quality for any black magician to possess. Ignore everything they say whilst smiling warmly, making them think that they have successfully engaged you. Casually mention that the tea has been dedicated to Satan after they have swallowed most of it. Continue smiling and rub your chin. That ought to unnerve them and send them running back to their church, which won’t be of any use to them anyway. Then they will go into turmoil every time they see someone smiling and rubbing their chin, unless ofcourse they are willingly walking the lhp.


#29

When I was a kid, I unintentionally trolled some Jehovah’s Witnesses. They were going door to door & I was riding my bike on the sidewalk. I asked them so many questions that they walked away, lol. I had too many questions they didn’t have answers for. I think I talked to the guy for almost a whole block, before he got flustered, shoved some “literature” in my hands, & hurried away.


#30

Tell them their timing is perfect. You’re happy to speak with them, you just need a few drops of their blood to make an offering to the true God first. Then pull out a big arse knife.


#31

That’s not good, just because they are willfully ignorant and self-righteous assholes it doesn’t mean that we should mentally torture them on this level.

A few minutes later…

I’ve changed my mind, they fucking deserve to get annihilated mentally and emotionally! Just change the offerings part with regular tea, because all entities will not take it kindly.

Just invite them in and lock the doors and be very nice to them and when they’re almost done, do some satanic shit like saying “I really like your company, I have a gift for you” then hand them a Satanic Bible and act like you’re possessed.

  • Bonus points for rolling your eyes backwards like Undertaker and speaking in Latin and not letting them go.

Have no mercy on them! And remember that fucking Abrahamic motherfuckers are responsible for many fucked up shit that has happened on this planet. And they would still be burning us magicians alive if it was legal.

Fuck Abrahamic religions!


#32

Strip naked or get possessed by Belial and let him talk to them. Heheh
Wear a witch-hat or pepper spray or insect repellent or show your about to have an orgy hmmm


#33

@davethebarbarian yeah like that one. Add a possession also


#34

@SoliMar Done something similar once when xian woman came to spread the word with herc prissily dressed girls. At my old place i said “u said how dare you bring children in to do your dirty work. You can go now”
Was a while ago


#35

That’s not trolling, you were just asking some questions and they were not able to give any logical answers, which is pretty common with all Abrahamic slaves. :grinning:


#36

Lol you troll. Are you a Virgo because thats something i would do.


#37

Ask to massage their feet. Jehovah’s Witnesses hate foot massages.


#38

Let them in, light few candles, hold a crystal in your hand, tell them you’re a psychic.

Then try to finish every single sentence they speak. Tell them any B.S about their lives, where they’re going to go after they leave… whatever comes to your mind.

When they show you a book, don’t let them talk about it, pretend you’re feeling what’s written in there. When they do anything… say out loud “I knew you’re going to do that !!!” look really crazy when you say it.

Be creative, have fun :slight_smile:


#39

Bwaahaahaahaaa!!! I am experiencing deja vu. A number of years ago I smacked my lips together and sucked in air through my teeth to psych out an exorcist from Sedona who was just doing the work to hit on chicks. It worked. He thought I was possessed and tried to physically restrain me for doing nothing more than making creepy slurping sounds. It was hilarious and still amuses my puerile mind.

Regarding these irritating threshold lurkers I am sure I could conjure something a bit wilder to ensure they never darken my doorway again.

I am polite and would invite the entities to participate only if they wished to, first. :wink:


#40

My look is almost like Jesus, and when they come to me i tell them- “Hi, my dad send me to tell you he is displeased by your work here…” or " How can you wrote so crapy thinks about my father?"