So i don’t know if it has anything to do with magick but if you can bare with me i would like to share my mental situation and tell me what you think.
Ever since i was 14 i get crazy violent if i drink too much, it happens from nowhere and i can’t remember anything after it happens, just blurry images and the feeling like im insane with rage and lust for blood.
The worst time i woke up in the hospital with serious loss of blood my ear almost cut off, cuts in my head and bruises every where.
I was 19 then, after that i stopped drinking and taking any kind of drug for about 5 years fearing i might die if i kept going.
I got back into drinking eventualy in a more responsable way i wanted to think, but then last year it happened again and i ended up hurting people i really care about and making a fool of my self in the process.
I experience anger and hatred to the point it hurts and i can’t allways control it like if there was something that wants to come out of me and just destroy, every thing, my self too.