Right now im having suicidal thoughts. very intense for the past days. like If i do it I have no idea where I’m going if you guys could tell me what would happen if i lose control and do it? Where goes my soul? Can there be more suffering than this? I can’t get over this damn breakup I had 4 months ago. He was a narcissist. He told me he dated me as a charity work and said there are way better women than me out there(he didn’t specify why they are better) anyway he made my self esteem die literally. Thanks for making me feel like the worst woman alive…
Tell me guys a demon, angel, spirit, spell anything that can help me gain back confidence and get over it cause Im losing it slowly. I had weird dreams too lately… If it’s my call to go… And this way…
Then it’s how was meants to be… 
I’m just so glad I was in this community it helped me a lot always with so much information and support. I love you guys 
I am sorry for your situation. Going by what you are saying I would think Lilith for Magick or you could go to a strong Goddess like Athena or one like that.
I’m sorry and I wish you well. If you haven’t already, please seek mundane support. Clinical or not, try your best to find it. I understand how a lot of us, usually novice, occultists put our trust in magick with handle all life’s problems.
On the other hand, I don’t have enough experience to recommend you spirits or rituals to help with your situation. All I can say is don’t let the occult hold you back.
I’m so sorry this guy hurt you. It sounds like he just made up whatever he knew would hurt the most: narcs are known to fish for your worst fears on purpose to prey on your insecurities.
You can’t let him win his game, actually I think you have a right to be angry at this. It’s not just a lie it’s maliciously done. Narcs only date for what they can get out if you, i.e. narcusditic supply, they’re way too selfish to do ‘charity’. Don’t let him get to you: it’s feeding him even more to know it upsets you as it bolsters his weak self esteem.
I think it’s great you’re away from him and you just need time to get the stress out. narcs charm you and make you love a facade that was just illusion. That illusion won’t become real but it just just as much.
If you want to try my poppet spell to remove the connection painlessly and in a healing way, I linked it in the “love tutorial collection” thread. I had an infatuation with a narc I had to heal and that’s how that spell actually came about.
Maybe also, Imagine how your life would be if you had dumped him, or never agreed to the first date, or never met him, and work to restore your life back to that.
From personal experience, Asmodeus gave me free venting sessions which felt like therapy in a way. He was always present for that sort of thing. It can be real hard to even find people who will listen these days or they might say seek counseling which is also hard to get in to these days (usually waiting lists).
I’ve found Asmodeus and Lilith to be excellent listeners and advocates for women. I think it is probably good to pick either Asmodeus or Lilith as a confidant. Talking to both at once can sometimes make the two clash.
I’m really sorry this happened to you, I was taught to just not engage in any nonsense coming from narcissistic personalities. The less you give them, the less they can use against you. But this is hard to figure out when first meeting them obviously, it is never easy. I’m sure he wants to still have power in your head somehow with all the cruel things he has done to you. Don’t allow his words and actions time of day. Easier said than done but with time it will get easier.
From middle school and upward, I’ve had dreams where I’ve found myself and what I’d describe the land of the dead. It was a forest set in an eternal night under the full moon. The moon was something of a gateway between both worlds. There the dead would be literally laid to rest until their next incarnation.
Look
Look if you pass on the other side you will find sadness anger, resentment on any living thing or object.noe if you dnt believe in tat you pass on unhappy. Now you can read, walk tru gardens parks ,try a dod park or animal shelter.if cnt light tea lights whit lavender / pine aroma,give 1 hour to a wowen shelter and you will see you are still the best wowen some not appreciate.
I think having sucidal thoughts is a symptom of many thinks one of them starts by yourself. Example, i think that wanting to literally die physically is just parts a misunderstanding of ones own inner being and needs.What i mean by that . We Occultist or black magicians we focus upon continual growth and succeeding in initiation and Magic mastery on all levels. And a big part of it is leaving the old shell the old self and being and ego behind in wich does not serve us anymore.So we are fokused to metaphoricly and literally die egowhise and personality whise and certain charcteristics that doesnt serve us anymore for the long run if we want to Continuosly grow and become bether and, of course, succeed. So when we are stuck in ones old unbeneficial frame and mode of being for looong enough ones symptom is that your psyche literally starts to scream to your councious "I wanna off myself"because normal people usualy dont take the time to step back and to look inward and taking the time to digest thinks manifoldly. Its a primall way of telling your councious i had enough of this old shit! I wanna move on! I am too stressed out! Please, give me time to let go and to process so i can finally welcome in the new. So take the time you need to heal yourself in peace-NOT DISTRACTIONS.
Fuck him up, literally curse his ass make him old, give bad luck etc and than when it reaches its natural peak, let it just go.This is also a big part of selfcare .Girl just have some selfrespect and saw his Dickhead off his shoulders.
Rise like a phoenix
LUX
ANGUIS
Damn sounds pretty chill…
Lilith is your best bet. She will definitely help you to regain confidence and self esteem. She is the best counselor I have ever had or likely ever will have.
After my nasty break up and subsequent downward spiral it was Lilith, Na’amah, Agrat Bat Mahlat, Eisheth Zenium, and Machaloth that who put me back together and helped me get my head back on straight. It was a long and arduous journey, and they all had different aspects to teach. But they where there when others where not and never let me give up on myself.