Lol 
seems we are very much similar in many things , Belial and Paimon , are very much calling to me , Heard smt about leviathan
Afraid of change myself xD very much trying to break my own shackles
Lave lake of drive and will , trying to change that , tho it’s a pain in the ass , good luck on your path
“Commit to yourself.”
That’s all they remind me, nothing else matters beyond that unless you deem it so.
“Rise above your fears, weaponize your emotions and pain, call upon what is yours by nature and govern even the stars among the heavens, as they all belong to you.” - Unknown, that little quote has been dancing around in my head for a while now, just figured I’d share.
I’ll post some updates later as quite a bit has happened since my last visit.
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Where to begin.
My path with Belial continues to go even further than expected, but as usual I’ve been given a task to perfect my being, and he refuses to teach me further until I’ve done this.
I’ve come into contact with spirit from Belial’s kingdom that I’ll refer to as “S.” We’ve spoken twice now and both times he’s given me rather valuable advice and a unique viewpoints, he’s asked for nothing in turn, but as provided me with useful teachings. As asked I evoked him yesterday morning - he asked me to do this several days ago but I was wary - stranger danger and all, but I was feeling adventurous so early morning I called to him. Disembodied voices seemed to grow more clear and a chill filled the air as I did so, and he manifested as a small child - though the voice was unfit for such a form.
We spoke very briefly, and he offered me a mantra of sorts and instructed me to meditate on it at least 3 times a day for about 15 minutes- very doable with my schedule, I’ll practice this for about a week and see how things go.
I’m not sure what he aims to gain from this but I’ll take it in slow strides, and the second anything seems even slightly off I’ll end it, but so far I haven’t felt anything odd about him other than the fact that he sought me out on his own free will, when I had no interest in working with spirits outside of my preset roster at the moment.
With all the important details handled, I’d say I’ve been getting on pretty well with Belial. Outside of our work I need something to occupy my free time, and in light of our new “Less reading, more practice.” Movement, I figured I’d try some new rituals in the meantime.
The Magickal Job Seeker has a few good workings that could benefit me right now? So I may turn my focus there for the time being.
Nothing fun, all work as of late.
Morning update.
I performed the mantra given and honestly I didn’t feel much when compared to the angelic mantras I’ve practiced before, but i did hear more subtle movements around me and kept getting cold pressures on my body at random, there were also moments where I could see my hand very clearly even with my eyes closed.
So I guess we can label this a success, once I’ve practiced it a bit more and can ensure it’s safety maybe I’ll share it with the forum.
A productive start to the morning, hopefully I can keep this momentum going throughout the day.
Decided to start my Monday off a bit more productive than usual, with a deep cleaning of myself, my temple, and my entire home. Turns out exerting that much energy may be my limit, not too shabby but it left me lightheaded and exhausted for a bit, decided to take several seats before I offed myself.
I also had to direct some energy towards my neighbor’s place - Duplex, nothing’s ever happened before, so I never bothered cleansing downwards, but today since I had the time I figured why not? And better safe than sorry, despite having wards and protections in place I still enjoy that certainty of everything being taken care of.
I’ll probably take a bit to recuperate before jumping back into some more personal work.
A Little update about the ‘mantra’ S gave me, it seems to work but he explained that it’s for “enhancing Astral Senses.” he explained that it would strengthen what I’d already been capable of, and opening the pathways to abilities I’ve ignored or pushed aside, and in the last few days of using it, I’ve experienced a sudden jump in Clairvoyance and Audience experiences, the sensation of touch from spirits is also grown more physical to the point where I can either feel the heat or chill from their bodies very distinctly.
So I’ll continue using it, hopefully, I see more growth as I start to practice with other senses, I may also pair his mantra with others I’ve found just to see how well they mesh.
Also, I feel I should note for my own sake that I feel SOOO much better than before, so it was definitely a long overdue cleansing – stay on top of that, dummy.
Work with Belial is picking up again, as circumstances have changed and we’re now able to move more freely - a long-awaited condition that we were expecting at some point.
Regardless, I’ve been given a hefty ritual to perform, which will push me in a much better direction, and when I say “Hefty.” I mean eight spirits deep, and the most I’m comfortable within a ritual is at most four, so he’s expecting big things from me. A few familiar names are on my list, and a few I’ve researched, others being completely unfamiliar to me, but I’ve been instructed to research them and prepare myself for the work.
Watching him construct the ritual was amazing, the names were listed effortlessly and assigned their roles without hesitation, and instead of my traditional triangle or a circle for summoning, I’ll be using squares to form a sort of eight-sided star – An Octagram, thank you google.
This will definitely be one of our more intense workings, I can feel it, but one well worth the effort.
Lately, I’ve noticed more of my practice has been turning up in intensity – growing pains, I’m a good deal stronger than I was when I started, so it’s only natural my obstacles and lessons get harder as well, regardless I press on.
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