Wednesday, April 7th, pt. II
From those to whom much is given, much is expected.
Today’s musings on the Law, concerning “mental diet” or “inner conversations”. Basically, the thoughts we have in their entirety, whether they’re imaginary scenes, imaginary conversations with others, or our own inner monologue speaking to us in voice or in image or in mood or feeling.
When I have a negative thought now I catch it and ask, “whose thought is this?”; if a negative feeling or scene arises I ask "who does this belong to?"
Does it belong to someone who acknowledges their own god-self? Does it belong to the immortal spark of consciousness which is the Source of all things?
Or does it belong to the ego, the “old man”, the person or the narrative that you are leaving behind?
And of course, always, it’s the latter. And as soon as I acknowledge that, it is so damn easy to shrug it off and brush it aside. Does this thought serve me? Does it empower me? No? Then it doesn’t belong to me, and I won’t waste time dwelling on it.
This goes hand-in-hand with the thing I mentioned the other day, so is usually followed by: I am a new person now. I am someone who is X, who deserves Y…
Prophet of Regret
I named this journal, in its current state, after a spaceship from a video game. But it speaks to my current journey, I suppose.
There is a fine line between delusion and enlightenment. Not that I’d go so far as to call myself enlightened. But I feel peaceful, sidling right up to the border of delusion. Not that I’d call myself delusion either. But… it’s a journey.
Most of this I write for myself, so I can look back in my dark days and realise the things I’ve learned along the way. I know the Law is not about forcing happiness. I don’t believe I need to force myself or convince myself I’m in a good mood at all times so I can “raise my vibration” to “attract” good things to me, or else I’m doing something “wrong”. I don’t believe in ignoring my human emotions when they arise, I just don’t think it does me any good to wallow in them. (Except for, you know, the occasional breakdown.) Better to remember who and what I am, and what I’m capable of, and focus on that.
I don’t believe it’s about forcing anything, or even about performing exact techniques in the hope they’ll bring you what you want – like you’re building IKEA furniture and if you put one screw in the wrong place you’ve fucked the whole thing up. It’s not like that. It’s more about changing how you think about things, on the micro and macro level – from your inner, unspoken, unbidden, subjective thoughts, all the way up to how we perceive the outer world as objective reality. Accepting and acknowledging and allowing.
I leave with this: