Transitioning from male to female with magick

So its been a bit since i last posted and im glad to be back :slight_smile: but I wanted to share my experience and workings as ive been transitioning (im a mtf transsexual) and what ive been doing with this magick.
While my experience has been largely positive with this, I must however note that this is not a quick fix. This is an every day ritual along with proper medical care and regular trips to a psychotherapist to deal with my gender dysphoria. If you are trans or even questioning your gender identity I beg you to seek professional help for this condition as it can be extremely psychologically taxing.

While i had always known what i was i was very repressed in ever letting me be myself. I felt alot of shame towards what I was, and even to a degree when scrying or channeling with Duke Dantalion he showed me myself as i had internally percieved it to be as a woman. Lucifer also did the same, and to the point of me negating what had been shown I had been for the better lack of terms shit of luck in help. I had been attending semi regular therapy and honestly after enough suicide attempts and living in depression I had an epiphany of sorts, who was i really harming here, why did i think so low of myself that living as I felt was right that it became so shameful and wrong. I felt broken, alone, a ghost navigating in a rotting corpse. At around August I teetered and starting socially transitioning and around the beginning of November I knew it was right for me to begin medical transitioning. I had also found out about this time when doing different lab work that I was actually born with an intersex condition, which had actually made a lot of sense (sex had been quite painful for me, and without too much detail I had underdeveloped genitalia and did not begin puberty until my early 20s). I had began my routine of medication with a dose of 4mg Estrodiol taken sublingually.
-magick time-
When I had finally recieved my prescriptions I had decided to make a pact with president Marbas to achieve the best results for my transition. Realizing even though I wasnt exactly male to begin with there were other complications to face as a result.
I had to think what was important towards being a woman at least in appearance and in social situations. I took in all the information i could and wrote the petition as well as what would be my offering as changing somebodys shape is quite a feat.
I began the ritual on a Wednesday, with my new medication present, a petition and pact annointed with blood and tears ( a strong emotional bond and connection) and evocated Marbas. I read the petition aloud picturing myself with each word as I said it. My body as i felt it could be* (i say as it could be as in no surgery, while I do plan on certain procedures along the way I must note that I am not developed enough in my skill to change my genetalia or certain other features that require a surgeons touch) my breasts, a narrow waist, softer skin, silky hair, wider hips etc. I then declared loudly my will and intent as well as what I offered (I will disclose this later as this is still a current working) in return for success. I then burnt the petition gave thanks and as a token of our time spent burned incense, took the dose, and pictured in my mind how much better I felt taking this step forward.
As such since then ive done a lesser form of this ritual with Marbas nightly, using a white ink pen I draw his sigil on my left hand before bed each night, recalling what I hope to see changed in myself, repeating his enn until i dose off. Within the first 2.5-3 months and after my first round of blood work on a low dose i had seen some outstanding results, my estrogen levels were that of a young teen and my testosterone completely surpressed. I looked years younger but the physical changes were what somebody further along would be experiencing (fat redistribution, breast growth, and surprisingly I had been shrinking both in height and my feet ) with each day I have been seeing more of my true self.
My voice is far more feminine and is passing (by luck i had befriended a ftm opera teacher who gave me some very important tools to train my voice, as well as quitting smoking my range was much higher). Things were seemingly aligning to make my journey a very successful one.

There have also been mental hurdles to overcome through this and why I cannot stress enough PLEASE SEEK THERAPY I have lost alot of people around me due to transitioning and was being treated like shit at work. I realised that the old me was dying, and i could never go back once I began this trip. On Dec 30th i began to mourn my own death, I couldnt shake it but i feel like this is what Lucifer had known for me for a while. I sobbed and mourned what I was, what i thought I was, and how others thought of me. This went on for 3 days, a complete depressive break down. I didnt eat, sleep came and went spurratically until i had no more tears to cry, but through this death I was reborn.

To get back to the workings i continue it daily and have been living full time as a woman. Ive found a deeper connection to myself and finally feel connected to my physical body, my new confidence in myself allowed me to obtain a new job where im paid more, treated with respect, and as seen as one of the girls working there. While there is always the potential for being misgendered as a transsexual it happens rarely and life has been so much better.
There are also other physical actions ive taken such as diet, exercise, meditation and grooming that have aided in this and I can explain those later if asked.
Thanks for reading through all of this

  • Madeline

You should make a journal about your journey on here. I think you could help and inspire a lot of people on this forum.


Good Afternoon, Madeline,
Thank you for sharing your individual journey here. The power of magick to help with transitioning (shapeshifting) intersexually sounds highly exciting and innovative to me. As @3rd_Eye_Drops said, it would help other transpeople with their magick ascent if you shared your experiences in a diary. Please consider it, as it would become a highly unique example of the power of magick to others struggling with their journey, thank you. :blush:


I plan on it :slight_smile: been keeping a hand written account for myself and id like to help others on this journey as much as i can, especially giving them an extra boost towards their goals in transitioning.

Thank you for your story, Madeleine, and I’m happy for you that you are able to do this.

Personally, I intend to transform on the other side, and go through a full metamorphosis into my true female self when at last I’m rid of this physical world. Having lived more than half of my life already, I see no reason upset everything at this late a stage.

But it does make me long intensely for death.


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Thank you i have been considering doing the samething and this basically settles it for me, i just started socially Transitioning in December and want to start medically soon.

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Hey I can related to you somewhat. I am a crossdresser in closet. I would love to be a woman, but don’t want to change my hardware fully, so crossdressing gets me by. I tried to message you personally, but didn’t know how. Maybe we can connect. What are the chances of finding magically inclined people with gender dysmorphia.


@oilsarelives Just an FYI, you cannot PM because you are a newcomer to the forum. The ability is locked by the system until you reach a certain threshold of activity, and then it will unlock automatically. However, someone can message you, and you can reply to them, you just can’t initiate contact.

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I have previously linked to this thread in a reply to you, as well, please check it out: LGBTQ Magicians’ Working & Networking Thread

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Your an inspiration to us all and one of the most influential magician stories here. Know thyself is the strongest magical tool in this life. I wish you nothing but the best and a smooth transition :black_heart::black_heart::black_heart:

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I wanted to take the chance to update on working as well describe a bit more of my own circumstances as things have gone and continued.
While continuing the ritual as described above I’ve made more discoveries in my own life and things medically that I had not known before and had to realize both in the mundane and magick lifestyle.

Be prepared to lose everybody in your life, alot of people out there pretend to be tough but its incredibly disheartening to essentially be ostracized from friends and family but well worth it in order to be truthful to myself. Personally i’m at the point where its not worth it to use magick to convince them or change their opinions, as its not worth it to me to worry and i’d rather they grow organically as people to be accepting. If they dont, they dont.

Build your strength as a result, opening yourself up to others will send a beacon to those who wish to break you down. Ive been addressing myself quite a bit doing shadow work, opening up repressed wounds in meditation to actually heal them instead of masking them as I had been for many years. Dont repress your pain, no deity required to do these meditations/rituals its calling upon your higher and lower selves. Heal your lower self, embrace them, its attached to trauma, pain, resentment etc and its something that I would say has been making a large difference in my perspective of myself as well as a tailored apathy towards those that try to break me down. Theres no reason to attach that to myself in moving forward, but I suppose thats a lesson for everybody.


Sending you the best vibes Madeline :heart:

I have been supporting a friend with her transition recently. Now I won’t pretend I know anything about how one feels in such a situation, but I know that being ones self is something that should be embraced, & not challenged. A lot of us are scared to tap into accepting ourselves & being open with it because we don’t want to get hurt. But no matter what one decides to do in life it is not easy, one will always have opposition…

We may be all ‘different’ but the anxieties & doubt we have about ourselves is the connection between all of us, but yet the biggest disconnect at the same time…

Thank you for sharing your experiences & in turn helping others feel less alone :rose:

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So how did magic help you? Do you intend to continue practicing magic in this direction and what specific goals will you have? Personally, I also think about the transition, it is very difficult socially, to make the transition in some societies. In addition, the issue of pharma is also important, since in fact, sublingual drugs can be harmful to the body, and intravenous injections are unstable. In general, what hormones our body will actively produce is decided only at puberty. And it’s very interesting if magic can reverse this process so that the testes stop producing testosterone, and the adrenal glands begin to produce estrogens instead of T.
It would be great to know about a similar experience from someone.


Id say it helped in understanding my own endocrine system better in order to achieve the results I desire, as well as essentially LOA glamour work to make transitioning and being in public less of a stigma and better acceptance around others

This is also the part where the first part comes in as well, understanding your own body better. Theres mixed studies on the subject and it really depends on the individual like with any form of medication, and best to have an endocrinologist help you in monitoring them, but it doesnt hurt to work with a spirit in order to have the system run smoother for better health :slight_smile:

While i will say that my experience is individualized since when I did my first hormonal panel i had suppressed t from an androgen insensitivity and mosaicism, not to mention under development/malformations of particular equipment. But I would assume that if somebody who could be considered healthy being born male could apply the same principals like LOA to help with ceasing production of testosterone in the testes as well possibly speed up the atrophy process. Id be happy to help in anyway, honestly the mantras and I guess ritual work I do are simple enough and engrained that its just living them at this point and not practicing them.

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