Yeah I’m the type to want commitment, which I’m not getting so I also have sex like twice a year. It’s working for me so I don’t get attached to people that don’t care about me. I wouldn’t cut out masturbation though but that’s just me. Since I’m not having sex as much or spending time with people that don’t care about me I’ve been able to put a lot of energy into thing I enjoy like painting, making jewelry, reading, gardening, etc. so I’m starting to love it!
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That’s completely inaccurate despite seeming to be true. The only thing that is of real value is yourself. All other value is derivative and to attempt overrule this fact will only bring discomfort/unhappiness. I think fully contemplating why change and death exist is very important. Puts things in their rightful places when we’re given to romanticising our preferences. Also consider whether or not your idea of commitment should be applied to something else altogether, i.e. something that could, at least for a time, return this level of commitment, perhaps a hobby or inanimate object or career pursuit.
Celebrate helped for a while.
But you seem to be buying into his backwards manipulation that you should have a commitment and children.
So now you are still trying to fulfil his wish.
I know exactly how that mind works!
When you are ready to let it go.
Every thing you were told that you should and could not or should not because you are not weak enough to fit into a psychotic person’s ideals… You free it all up.
Children or no children
Are you defined by what your woumb produces
How you bring it up to be perfect according to standards made on shifting sand.
There will be NO relief until you let it all become nothing.
Give it no more value. And stop wasting your time on a concept given to over time for an idealism wrapped up in a package of glittered dung.
That is the ideal magick for you. Not a get me a Fucking husband spell.
It’s a lack of self-knowledge. That’s the whole issue. I don’t think any education or skill can compensate for a lack of self-knowledge. People will accept all kinds of ideas that they don’t, at the moment anyway, have any genuine inclination towards when they look to another for guidance/inspiration or affirmation of self-worth.
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You are making a big deal about sex and that is always illusory. Nothing is truly inferior/superior or goo/bad: it is only relative perception. If you make a big deal about sex and commitment, you’ll experience situations like this in perfect correspondence to your mindset.
People are not here to commit to you: they are committed to themselves but not you. Even if they appear to be genuinely committed, they are only doing it for themselves and all the rest is by the way. Commit to yourself. Commit to friendship and then you’ll have all your sexual hangups out of the way.
I am not fully sure if it is about my subconcious blockages. Every time I ignore them and I try to break through it just comes back to bite my backside…
No. I don’t want a spiritual partner. I want a real one.
This much I can assure you of: it is always perfect correspondence to your consciousness and you will see that only if you understand yourself. Remember, you are not merely what you like or prefer.
What is a “real” one and what’s a “spiritual” one in your terms? Always keep this in mind: at the level of individual consciousness, which is illusory yet real, people never ever partner with you but with their own ideas ( 
of you or anything else ).
Even sex is greater when you have commitment.
What is attractive in sex if you cannot have a nice conversation before and after?
What is attractive in sex if you can’t have it more times with one person? First time is excitement… with time though they learn what you like you learn what they like so it becomes more pleasurable. Sex after 2 years in a relationship is way better than when you first meet someone.
You have a best friend and a lover all at once. That is what is great about commitment.
We just live in a hook up culture and people have been influenced seeing relationships as something evil. It is conditioning.
I absolutely loved that he admitted his weaknesses. He is a very handsome man… he has such a perfection on his face and body that when he admitted his weaknesses he became more human and I felt so good about that. I felt he was more approachable.
I had my insecurities too so I felt comfortable.
There must always be a balance… and dating advice has really damaged men and women. We all supposed to be those cold creatures who don’t express emotions or vulnerability out of fear we might come across as weak.
But having weaknesses is part of being a human. For example…Being jealous and showing it sometimes is the best thing to do because we make the other person feel wanted.
And if the other person never feels wanted at some point they leave. This is why PUA and all other techniques work only to attract one night stands and casual sex.
If you want emotional connection you have to be open and vulnerable on some degree or else you won’t get it.
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I am hoping to have a real baby one day. A little human being that I can fully love and see it grow. Spirits might be perfect and I love them but they can’t offer me that experience.
Plus I still live on the 3D world. I still have a body. I want to enjoy my experience as a human before I turn into spirit only.
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I can see where you are coming from… but for me it feels less emotionally painful to go cold turkey.
yeah I am doing this at the moment… but still there are times that it is hard.
I avoid holidays by making sure I am working on those days. I avoid weekends by working on those days. I almost have no days off because I don’t want to feel the void.
I have friends… lots of them. But it is not the same.
Right now I am celebrating because all the Valentine’s Day and night I will be working so I don’t have to feel that I am single and something is missing.
First time in my life that I am focusing on my financial prosperity… but it is just hiding behind workaholism.
all you say are true. However, before I lost my father he left feeling disappointed in me that I never gave him a grandchild and it is like a knife twisting in my heart.
I am getting judged all the time about not having kids again and a husband and people who I know since I was a kid, neighbours, family is the first thing they ask me. I can’t cut them off.
I think that all the money I will save from focusing on my career atm I will go and spend it for IVF. It is the only way forward if I want to have some sort of family. Plus I come from a very small one… so after I lose my mother then I will be with only myself. Brilliant! lol
Xmas for one 4ever… YEAY!!! LOL
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Whenever we get into the superior/inferior zone, we are living in the illusion of duality. Everything is only relative and contingent on a certain vantage point. What appears greater to you might not appear that way to another.
What’s attractive in sex? Just the pleasurable experience that you have. That’s all. You can have nice conversations before and after but you don’t need to be committed to do that. For some it gets better with more sex with the same person and for others it can be just plain boring. 2 years is an incredibly long period of time to spend with the same person not just sexually but in every department. People do it, yes and perhaps for even more incredibly long periods but I am not sure how they truly feel about it beyond just being a comfort zone.
Your only true lover and best friend is your self. This is important whether you prefer so-called “long-term” or “casual” relationships. Yes, it is a type of conditioning but so are marriage/relationships and commitment. More accurately, they are just aspects of consciousness or types of experiences and neither are truly goo or evil. Hookups are evil and hookups are goo. Commitment is evil and commitment is goo. Only one commitment is not negotiable: the one to your own Self.
The point I’m really trying to make: don’t get dependent on needing another to make you feel whole. You are whole on your own with or without a relationship. This is very, very important.
Isn’t it lovely though when someone sees the worth in you to commit themselves just because this makes them feel good? I find it rewarding.
And no. Still… that animalistic porn style sex is soooo not my type.
I want spiritual one. Physical only feels cheap and bad taste./
Your tone is not goo. It sounds very emotionally down and that won’t do. You must find that zone of calm, i.e. that realisation of who you truly are. Attempting any long-term relationships in this state you’re in is literally damn near asking for trouble.
Your not wanting to feel the void makes it crystal clear that you need to be emotionally self-reliant. Nothing is missing from you apart from your misplacing priorities and that will always make you feel bad. It’s supposed to. First priority is self-knowledge and realising your inherent, eternal wholeness. Attempting to place on something transient, yes there is death and sudden change, like a commitment is asking for punishment.
Financial prosperity is an okay idea to focus. I don’t understand what you mean about focussing on financial prosperity hiding behind being a workaholic.
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I definetely need to do that. It is a pattern though and one of my witchy friend who knows me in real life told me she also suspected someone might have put a bad spell on me. You cannot explain so much bad luck x
First of all the day before yesterday I had another guy who slept with me just to use my body despite of what I told him. So I am a bit upset atm.
All is great what you are saying but I am very close to the age that infertility will strike me. The dream I had as a kid to be a mum one day seems not possible. It is like another failure.
This is why I work. I don’t want to feel that I have free time that I could spend cuddling to someone… or enjoying a nice walk… I just do something to take my mind out of it. And I try to see the positives in it… correction… force myself seeing the positives.