I don’t know how right it is to talk about this on this forum, but since I don’t know other people who will get help, I’ll ask here.
I’ve been starting to have a different mindset for demons lately. I began to reject demons, thinking they were not real and people were imaginary. This is a heavy thought for me because even though I was a kid, I spent 1-2 years researching demons. So these assets were in important positions for me before.
But ever since I started thinking that way, it feels like I made a mistake. Especially for Marchosias… Every time I try to sleep, I think of Marchosias and I feel like I’m not doing her an injustice. It’s like something is forcing me not to let them go. It might sound like an exaggeration, or I’m paranoid.
What I want to ask clearly is, what is the reason for this or how can I find a solution?
I would suggest more research is the best antidote to uncertainty. There’s a while philosophy that revolved around everything observed being only the product of you own mind and not real, so you’re in good company. You might like to look into the current called Chaos Magick by Austin Osman Spare.
There’s room for all approaches to belief under the sun
Something else I do as well is I will give myself a period of time, maybe a couple of months, where I “try it on for size” and adopt an idea and talk about it as if I fully believe it. It’s similar to suspending disbelief when watching fantasy movies. At the end of the period the I know what I really think about it based on my own response to my own behaviour and other people’s feedback in discussions.
The end result of both ways or working is the same so it’s a low risk experiment. The important thing is to keep developing your skills and ascending, imo, and it doesn’t matter how. Eyes on the prize
… will understand, and it’s not a big deal if you work with entities or not, or work with them as aspects of your own mind, or not.
I haven’t improved myself so far. Maybe it has something to do with my laziness. But I think it’s because I haven’t been able to balance my life. I haven’t seen any progress myself.
You may be right about this. But when I try to access an spirit I think I’m failing. Since I usually do this with a pendulum, I can never be sure of its accuracy. So it’s easier for me to think the demons are fake.
yes, I’m sure it’s pretty easy to approve of these for someone who’s really developed their skills.
This is a matter of practice. Like building muscles in the gym, you do it little and often to build over many months… Maybe try an exercise to give you confidence with this skill:
Put a bunch of interesting photos or magazine clippings in envelopes, shuffle them, and use the pendulum to ask if this or that photo has x colour, or people, or wateriness (could be energy, water, oil, liquid of any kind) or heat or cold etc etc… then record the yes/no success rate. You should be able to watch that rate improve over time. You only need to do a couple a day. When you get to 80 plus percent accuracy you’ve got a good comfort factor on whether your unverifiable answers are also accurate.