Okay, I understand what you’re saying then. Thanks for clarifying.
Not saying you should 
I just meant it seems to me that people throw around these terms because it sounds ‘cool’ or whatever, without considering it too deeply (to choose immortality is, after all, a pretty big decision- imo at least).
If you say it is your main goal in life, you’ve obviously thought it through.[/quote]
There is an actual practical application for this. Im sure you’ve heard of the Egyptian After life deal of creating an Immortal or near Immortal self. One would do this in a practical Application to Project a Doppelganger into the furthest futures to then Time Travel back in Time to meet one. This would extend your magickal ability and influence. To “see” and thereby influence factors beyond the common man.
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[quote=“Lady Eva, post:11, topic:6412”]Sure:
[url=http://www.gematrix.org/]http://www.gematrix.org/[/url][/quote]
Well eh…
So i type my Godname… Just to check if the results really resognate with me, and the first ‘‘Word’’ in the result in this website was my REAL name…
The fuck…
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[quote=“Onyx, post:23, topic:6412”]Well eh…
So i type my Godname… Just to check if the results really resognate with me, and the first ‘‘Word’’ in the result in this website was my REAL name…
The fuck…[/quote]
That means you hit a nerve. In other words, no wonder the name resonates with you- it is you. Literally. Nice job finding that out.
In my case, my (public) godname is actually my username.
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[quote=“Velotak, post:24, topic:6412”][quote=“Onyx, post:23, topic:6412”]Well eh…
So i type my Godname… Just to check if the results really resognate with me, and the first ‘‘Word’’ in the result in this website was my REAL name…
The fuck…[/quote]
That means you hit a nerve. In other words, no wonder the name resonates with you- it is you. Literally. Nice job finding that out.
In my case, my (public) godname is actually my username.[/quote]
But really i mean, i’ve been using this Godname for everything really, as username in online video games, Rapper name (Yeah i know, i used to rap), Main character name for some short stories i wrote back in the days, and even to name a store i always wanted to open up…
And never even guessed… I mean…
Eh…
But…
Yeah…
Magick… Gotta get use to this.
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I have never uttered my godname in front of another human. But, I use it in all my workings. Most entities I speak with call me by it. Except for Jesus, he calls me Peter.
Yes, that’s exactly it - I don’t know for sure what will happen, so I’ll take it as I find it.
If I have human children, then that might rule out physical immortality in the Hollywood movie sense of simply not ageing etc.
It’s horrible for kids when their mum dies, but I would imagine mentally destructive if they never do! Imagine the mother-in-law from hell… 
Plus, the whole thing of hiding it, needing new ID every 20 - 30 years, total administrative nightmare - assuming I don’t break reality (as it currently stands, for me) by attaining this anyway.
I just don’t know, so I’m going to see what happens and decide from there.
My basic fallback plan is to reincarnate within my own family with some memories or at least core personality and intentions intact, which may be easier since I had a demonic Child and introduced “demon” into the old family blueprint - that seems to have somewhat affected Varnaxis, for example, although obviously his own work and intention (hidden from everyone in his life) did almost all the heavy lifting there, my somewhat distant connection to him just provided a little counterbalance to his ascent into demonic form.
There’s just no way that bit doesn’t sound crazy. Yeeee-haw! :o)
My obsession with the whole issue of the ultimate destiny of the soul, stems from my inability to grasp the concept of 'eternity'- and I'm sure I'm not alone in this. When contemplating these sort of goals, my mind just keeps asking 'what then, what's next? And after that, and then..?" Argh its a mindfuck. But yeah one of my goals is to reach a point where I understand the nature of time etc.
Each moment is all the eternity we get, in a sense - there is no future, as people always remind you, you can’t live in the future, or the past, only what you have right now.
Of course, I’m trying to fuck with that rule, as well…
But for all practical purposes, eternity is always the present moment.
It’s hard for the mind not to conceive of a rest, a sleep of some kind, but that’s a primate throwback, to our need for sleep and an ending.
I’m trying to get rid of it, which is one of the reasons I trashed my body clock, but that carries mental and physical health risks of course.
I guess I always come back to the old Neoplatonic model, but I'm keeping an open mind; and, though I crave for something 'more', something 'other', I know that I want to make the very most of my time on earth and strive for as much power and freedom as possible.
Cool!
Also, perhaps I've been thinking about Theogenesis concept too narrowly.
It’s a huge idea, to become something, when we don’t know 1. exactly what the expewrience of being a (regulkar, excisting) god is like, and 2. whether it will be the same for us, if we retain a living body.
I don’t pretend I have a handle on it, only that it’s been an ambition somewhere in my life for as long as I can remember.
The absurdity of my life (sitting here right now in vest and joggies, cold feet, last night’s washing-up to do and so on) compared to the scale of my goals provides enough dissonance to deal with on a daily basis!
Your goal of becoming godlike, would enable you to literally do [i]anything[/i]. Your abilities would allow you to have experiences (way) beyond what's considered normal. I guess that in itself is a form of transcendence? The kind of stuff we discussed here [url=http://becomealivinggod.com/forum/general-discussion/if-you-were-a-living-god/.]http://becomealivinggod.com/forum/general-discussion/if-you-were-a-living-god/.[/url]
Totally!!
I have a mental list of things I want to be, do, and have, and some of those are a little outside the scope of conventional magick, even taken to the highest levels - they require literal reality-creation, and willed manipulation of linear time.
But for now, better get on with that washing-up… 
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[quote=“Lady Eva, post:27, topic:6412”]If I have human children, then that might rule out physical immortality in the Hollywood movie sense of simply not ageing etc.
It’s horrible for kids when their mum dies, but I would imagine mentally destructive if they never do! Imagine the mother-in-law from hell… :D[/quote]
Yeah, that’s a good point lol!
Each moment is all the eternity we get, in a sense - there is no future, as people always remind you, you can't live in the future, or the past, only what you have right now.Of course, I’m trying to fuck with that rule, as well…
But for all practical purposes, eternity is always the present moment.
It’s hard for the mind not to conceive of a rest, a sleep of some kind, but that’s a primate throwback, to our need for sleep and an ending.
Yeah, I guess that’s true. I’m currently stuck in this mentality, but I guess that is exactly how we have been programmed to think- we simply cannot imagine a state of no beginning or no ending. Also the whole issue of time not being linear after all, and being relative, all that… It is simply beyond my current comprehension, but I’m trying my damnedest to understand it.
The absurdity of my life (sitting here right now in vest and joggies, cold feet, last night's washing-up to do and so on) compared to the scale of my goals provides enough dissonance to deal with on a daily basis!
Yep, I totally get that. I have my days where I feel amazing, on top of the world, omnipotent even- where everything just makes sense somehow; and then when I’m feeling low, I sometimes look around me and think, seriously? It’s days like that when I start feeling trapped- trapped in my body, trapped in this world. Fortunately though, the feeling usually soon passes.
I have a mental list of things I want to be, do, and have, and some of those are a little outside the scope of conventional magick, even taken to the highest levels - they require literal reality-creation, and willed manipulation of linear time.
I guess it would sort of be like having your earthly body, and your physical environment, as your ‘base’, but yet being able to do or be pretty much anything. This, pretty much: ‘This amounts to an immortality of the independent self-consciousness moving within the objective universe, and interacting with it at will.’
I have a mental list of things I want to be, do, and have, and some of those are a little outside the scope of conventional magick, even taken to the highest levels - they require literal reality-creation, and willed manipulation of linear time.
But for now, better get on with that washing-up… 
[/quote]
What do you want to be, do, and have? and why is it that far out of the realm of possibility?
There are a few things outside the realm of what conventional magick can do - the simplest is that I want to walk in the Temple of my beloved Hathor, during the height of Egyptian culture (by which I mean the past), I have a few things that would require either Doctor Who, or theogenesis, to attain.
Yes, I could soul-travel there and share the experience on the astral/whatever with someone who was there, but I want to be there physically, me, now - I hunger for the scent of the incense, the floor beneath my feet (or sandals), the bright Egyptian sky above freshly painted art.
THAT version.
Back then.
Others may come later.
That’s just one, but it’s the most physically challenging, for me. Also I can barely even speak Spanish let alone Kemetic/Greek/Latin, so be nice to make it there and the bouncers don’t throw me out/to the crocodiles! lol!!
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Hi Lady Eva. I know you’re ill atm- so please take your time in responding.
I’ve got yet another question that relates to the whole theogenesis concept (please bear with me lol). It’s been bugging me quite a bit and it’s an issue that I’m on the verge of becoming slightly paranoid over.
I’ve been reading some of the older threads on here, specifically some of the ones where you talk about your RHP days and how you nearly attained your goal of merger with source, and that’s what got me thinking about this issue.
I know that we talked about the whole ‘wait and see’ approach regarding your decisions about the afterlife (if any), but I was hoping that you might have some sort of idea how the following hypothetical situation might pan out since you have had such direct experience with the RHP and all.
So basically, I’ve been pondering the following situation: Lets say at some point after your (or anyone else who has this as a goal) attainment of theogenesis, as an omniscient being, you decide that you do, in fact, want to ‘merge with source’ (very, very hypothetical). How would that then work? My first thought was that you would need to start all over again- like reincarnate into another body, do all the yoga RHP detachment stuff again- all of it (basically start from scratch).
But then I it occurred to me that as a godlike being, a decision to return to source (bearing in mind the fact that you would have attained omnipotence) should in theory be easy to attain, if that is what you will to happen? Or would that be viewed as ‘cheating’? By who though- I don’t know. I understand that Source is, well, Source, not some anthropomorphic, judgmental sky-god.
The reason I’m asking is because, as I’ve mentioned before, I personally am after as much power and individuality and freedom within this lifetime as possible (which I guess, for all intents and purposes could be called becoming godlike), but yet also crave transcendence, and view an EVENTUAL return to source as perhaps ultimately desirable. So in a way, I guess I’m sort of trying to have the best of both, and I worry that choosing to have the ‘best of both worlds’ in this manner would incur some sort of cosmic ‘penalty’, that perhaps if/when I EVENTUALLY do choose to pursue the attainment of Nirvana, I might have to work extra hard at it- as some sort of ‘punishment’.
My gut feeling is that it wouldn’t matter- since both paths are equally valid, so changing paths at some point should not really be an issue. The LHP is not WRONG, is what I’m getting at I guess.
Also, the way I understand it, is the reason why the technique of non-attachment is used to achieve merger with source, is NOT because material, earthly desires are inherently wrong, but simply because it is attachment to these earthly things which causes re-birth into the same plane. I personally do not believe that material desires are wrong or ‘sinful’, even though I pretty much believe in the Neoplatonic model (the way I see it is that even though the physical may be the densest plane- it is after all, still a part of source and therefore not inherently wrong).
Anyway, your thoughts on this would be much appreciated 
[quote=“Onyx, post:23, topic:6412”][quote=“Lady Eva, post:11, topic:6412”]Sure:
[url=http://www.gematrix.org/]http://www.gematrix.org/[/url][/quote]
Well eh…
So i type my Godname… Just to check if the results really resognate with me, and the first ‘‘Word’’ in the result in this website was my REAL name…
The fuck…[/quote]
Nice. Apparently, the arcane and mighty significance of one of my longer magickal names’ gematria is…Jethro Klampet.
Trivial, I know, so sorry for the distraction in the thread! But maybe someone needed a good laugh?
I had no idea who Jethro Klampet was, but I just googled it. That’s hilarious lol!
Anyway, I thought I would clarify a few points with regards to my last post, as I was feeling a bit paranoid at the time.
I just want to make it clear that I did not mean walking the two paths simultaneously. That would not make any sense as one cannot strive for individuation/ isolate consciousness and merger with source simultaneously, clearly. My personal goal, or overall plan, is to embrace the LHP wholeheartedly in this lifetime. I want to learn and experience as much as possible, and currently my values align fully with those of the LHP. This is very much where I’m at, atm, however, I see an eventual (can’t emphasize that word enough) return to source, once all goals have been achieved and I guess a sort of ego burn out attained (in this world and perhaps higher realms), as a desirable outcome.
Just to be clear, I don’t mean that in some snuggly, Siamese twiny- two become one situation with one of the RHP gods lol- I mean literally a return to nothingness, non-existence. Again, I am in no way ready for something like this in my current lifetime, but I view this as a sort of logical conclusion after reaching the pinnacle of experience. I suppose I view a return to source in the same way a hardcore materialist/atheist might view death after a long and successful life- you just simply cease to exist, but that’s OK and not something inherently abhorrent.
The problem that I’m currently having- is that the paranoid voice in my head has decide to fixate on the worry that there may be some sort of ‘karmic debt’ to pay, when eventually deciding to go the path of merger. I’m worried that there may be a karmic penalty for treading the LHP, and then at a later stage deciding to strive for union with source (source be all like – well you wanted to walk the path of individuation and now you want merger- well I’m gonna play hard to get lol)- that sort of thing.
Yes, rationally, I realize this is paranoia, since I reject the notion of karma and conventional notions of right and wrong, and have done so for quite a while. I believe the LHP to be entirely valid and therefore the idea that there would be some sort of punishment seems silly. I believe that as individuals we have the right to choose our destinies, and therefore a change in path should be a non-issue.
But anyway, I’m really keen to nip this worry in the bud, as I don’t want it affecting my practice and progress on the LHP (just need to reiterate again that the LHP is very much where I’m at, currently). In fact I wanted to step it up a notch and was planning to begin working through MW Ford’s Luciferian Witchcraft this week, so the very last thing I need is some pesky voice in the back of my head telling me I may be making things harder for myself in the long run by venturing further into the LHP- clearly that would be incredibly counterproductive.
Also, and I guess the reason I posted this in the theogenesis thread is because this is what originally got me thinking about the whole issue. As I mentioned above, contemplating the concept of theogenesis and what it means to be truly omnipotent. I would imagine that omnipotence, being the ability to manifest anything you desire, would, very ironically include the ability to simply will yourself into non-existence? Without having to do the whole non-attachment thing and renouncing the material. Is the attainment of isolate consciousness, paradoxically, the easiest way to the RHP? I don’t know, it’s a mindfuck, but very interesting.
Anyway, if this is going off topic and needs to be split, no probs. I just wanted to clarify what I meant in the above post
Returning to Source os the same thing as the 1st and 2nd Bardo in Buddhism, where basically Source is the sea of information amd energy. Returning to Source in a sense is only useful whem you want to exist in this world as an Awareness in a Sea of Informational/Experiental Reality. How it is actually useful to the physical world is that in magick/reality changing one can change the informational mold of ones self and existence. Where information is, energy follows and then manifestation. So from this perspective LHP and RHP merge and so are one and the same…because realistically we all have Left and Right hands…nust as our world starts out as a Dream and Becomes a Physical reality there is no divide. You can also look at this as a Synthesis in Kabbalah of where pure energy from Kether is spilling down all Pathways of the Tree of Life to manifest in Malkuth. In Quantum Mechanics its known as Wave to Particle…if one wants to change ones position in life, one goes from Particle (Programming of Flesh and Mind and energy cells) to Waveform…transform the Waveform and then Re-Collapse ones self into a different position.
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Eva wow this is where I am right now the goddess in me has awakened and I have been everywhere trying to gain knowledge my beliefs and xesires a very in sync with yours I had a vision the other night that many beings had been warring in hopes that I would choose this path or that path…but in the end I was told to choose the path that led to my own godhood…and that embracing the goddess with in me was a must . Again thank you…
I have begun the process of fully merging with the source, my source, and it’s more empowering than anything I’ve ever encountered to say the very least.
I have heard the voices of the gods more than I was ever capable of before, felt their energy, no source of information is out of my reach, no goal is un-accomplishable, no limits to communication with the other worlds. It’s truly enlightening and understanding this is the biggest battle of them all.
But once this battle has been fought and won, you can truly begin to see the world in a different light, and darkness. Only some of you will understand what I mean by this, but if you do understand then you are well on your way to true enlightenment.
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And why are you just a Global Moderator?? Eric and the guy should have you writing and doing videos.
Anything less is a waste.
(blinks confusedly)
Serious answer - I like a quiet life, albeit with occasional forays into war and slaughtering foes, and a quiet life and being an occult author do NOT go together. 
I write stuff on here, when I have something to share - you can go hunt your own goats to wrap it in if you’d like to do a printout! 
Timeless gems like promising to give you all tails when I become a Goddess do indeed need such immortalisation, hell the goats’ll probably queue up, volunteering! 
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Lady_Eva MAGA!!
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This is cool I discovered a lot about myself by plugging Adam Thoth into it. Yeah it basically verified that I’m the Antichrist.
See for yourself,
And this is the full Adam Hermes Thoth.
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