I’m 25 years old - and from India. It has been four months since I formally delved into the occult. I found this website on my second week.
I’m a musician - and have always found refuge in music since I was a kid (hence, a hint at my choice in the username there). Apart from Personal Entities, there are a few other impersonal things I consider Divine - Music being one of them. I literally owe my life to music - and have good knowledge of various genres of music, from cheesy Pop to outright blatant extreme Black Metal, and all world genres in between (Seriously, not bragging - but I shall respect you if I find you can keep up with my taste in music, whichever genre it may be from. Music is one thing I pride myself in)
I’m not a hotshot (yet) in the Occult Arena, you will know more about me should you choose to read through what I will be writing below.
I consider Krishna/Krsna as my patron deity as far as the present moment is concerned (Henceforth I shall be referring to Him as Krsna)
Since I was a kid I had an immense attraction for “a higher power”. Needless to say, I was and still am an absolute Theist. I remember how I’d get into fights at school with my friends - many of whom tried to push “Science” down my throat and tell me that Theism is delusion, and Atheism is the way to go. They smashed my beliefs in “Santa Claus” in second grade, constantly ridiculed the respect and awe I had in me for this “higher power” - but were all unable to shake me off my attraction to Theism. I’d always come back at them with a wilful retort of “Who the FUCK do you think you are to have such a conclusive atheistic overview of the Unknown? Why don’t you respect the Unknown? You think you know it all?” (and etc)
Despite all this, I’ve been fortunate enough to have been blessed with natural charm so that I’ve never been “alone” in my childhood. I’ve always had the luxury of good friendships, good contacts etc.
A lot of this changed in my 10th grade - where I faced serious “personality” issues. In short, I faced an existential crisis. I did not know who I was, what my personality was, how I should act, WHY I should act the way I should act----- in short, I was severely fucked up in my mind - to the point I contemplated suicide
I later found out that I had Multiple/Borderline Personality Disorder (Now I also know that it was the point I was going through my Saturnine or Shani Mahadasha of 7 and a half years) Anyway - to put it mildly, that was a seriously fucked up time in my life. I was failing in school, failing in my friendships, and most importantly, facing a severe personality crisis.
What saved me from suicide was 1) Music and 2) Krsna
No, I wasn’t fortunate enough to see Krsna or talk to Him in the direct sense etc - but something inside me directed me to a dusty closet in my house - where I found a book called the Bhagavad Gita (later from my studies I found out that this “something inside” in Vedic lore is called the Chaitya Guru - or, the Inner Guide - call it what you will). That book saved me.
I remember staying up night after nights to finish reading that book - not just because I was curious, but because I depended on it for my survival.
(Off-topic - but while all of this was happening, I found out I could do a certain “Trick”, thanks to my Multiple Personality Disorder. This kinda let me visualise a personality I was acquainted with and incorporate that personality into me** I mean, without analysing much, I found that I could simply “take in” a personality inside me - and use it for various purposes. For example, I remember incorporating the fictional personality of Tony Stark into me for a college-fashion competition I took part in. Now, normally I am an introvert and there was no way I could have won that competition. But I did - thanks to the “Tony Stark” personality.
Now, it wasn’t “easy” for me to take personalities inside my head (it was very, very mentally taxing) - but I found I could do it for short bursts of time - absolutely take a personality (which had qualities poles apart from my original personality) into me, with success.
I do not think this is an occult quality - the closest thing this could be related to the Occult is Invocation/Semi-possession… but I doubt I can do all of that. You can just call me a very good method actor, in simple terms.)
Anyway, back to topic
I completed my study of the Bhagavad Gita in college.
Got devoted to Krsna
Chanted his mantra heavily when I needed Him to say, pass an exam I was thoroughly unprepared for on the night before my exams - and somehow, I ended up taking enough information in me to go out there and actually pass those exams.
4)Got more devoted to Krsna as a result, and searched for the book Bhagavad Purana - now this book is VOLUMINOUS as FUCK - and is considered a Masters-level study in Vaishnavism (the name comes from Vishnu) - if one would consider the Bhagavad Gita a Bachelor’s level study - and actually read it to a point now that I consider myself quite trained in theoretical-Vaishnavism.
My Current State
I did all of this purely out of love for Krsna. Mind you, although I’d read all this stuff, I never practically had any mystical experiences. So, I took all of this mostly as mythology and lore - and NEVER in my wildest dreams conceived that an actual community of Occult-seekers existed out “there” (this website being one of those places) existed and pursued all of this seriously.
My strengths - On the worldly platform? 1)Music - I am proud and confident of my taste in music - 2) I have a curious mind and am learning new stuff everyday. My love for knowledge is perhaps only surpassed by my love for Krsna - and I could surprise you often with the stuff I know about this world should we ever have a conversation… And on the spiritual platform - Vedic/Hindu lore and mythology. I know a LOT about Indian gods (
from *Indra* to *Varuna* to *Hanuman* to *Ganesha* to *Kali* to the Mahadeva *Shiva* himself) - and specifically, Vaishnav/Krsna lore and mythology. I haven’t “directly” worked with Krsna, but I know a LOT about Him - so if you ever choose to work with Him, I would have information valuable to you - to give you a necessary “immersion”
Things I want to work upon - Everything else actually. My meditative skills are pretty noobish. I have never astral-projected. Never had a lucid dream. In short, I have never done any practice in the occult sphere - because I never took all of this seriously - to the level that I’d actually think all of this can be achievable (but now I do). As I said, it’s been only 4 days since I started digging down this rabbit hole. My strength is my devotion to Krsna, and despite me lacking practical Yogic/Occult knowledge (all of which I am learning and picking up as fast as I can afford to) - I believe that love and respect (to any deity you feel an affinity with) is the HIGHEST quality an occult-practitioner can have - because these entities are VERY VERY strong, and if you have real love for them, they WILL quicken your ascent
What I am currently working on
After doing a bit of online research (as I said, I started 4 days back) - I decided to start my occult journey like this.
Indoctrinate myself into basic Wicca (Scott Cunningham etc) - so I can get back my awe and joy and taste for the “paranormal” (I’m not a white mage. And I do not believe in abstaining from non-destructive magick. I shall use curses if I feel the need to. I’m reading Cunningham etc just to give myself an enjoyable introduction into the paranormal)
Move into the basics of Witchcraft - practically work on basic astral projection, lucid dreaming, meditation, the third eye, the chakras - practice and keep practising these.
Learn basic protection - grounding, protective sigil magick, attempting to work with the 72 angels of the Shemhamforash, learning all about them
Move on to the 72 demons of the Goetia, learning all about them.
Move on to the Sephiroth, the Qlippoth, delve into darker/baneful magick - and finally into Chaos Magick to develop a practical street-style of magick that works uniquely for me (I like John Constantine’s style of ‘street magick’, you see)
May the cosmic-music envelop you in Bliss.