The Ritual of the Neutron Star

Black Magick & The Left Hand Path
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No. I will do better than this.

Damn, that dude I respect made an objective statement about me very matter of factly with no particular emotional undertones one way or the other which could have been perceived as an insult but instead I found it amusing. Fuck dude yah got me. This does, of course, require actually getting got.

Some reflections on Enochian magick

In what follows I will do my best to speak plainly as to the level of my practice while attempting to be universally useful in a variety of ways to serious, dedicated occult practitioners.

Now that I have stepped back from it a bit, it is rather clear that Enochian magick practiced to the degree in which I was practicing it really puts you into a mindset that is quite removed from the material world.

It is interesting because over the past however long it’s been, I have experienced such profound change in my material life. There is a feeling of having stepped into new worlds, over and over again, for me in my life. My future expectations are generally expectations of adventurous expansion and extensive, deep learning, and there is nothing else which I find to be as motivating as this.

When I look back over the course of my magickal practice, I see cycles, ebbs and waves, movement between extreme polarities. I now believe that I am and for a bit have been moving out of the furthermost extent of one end of this polarity and moving in the other direction. When I go deep into the magickal, wondrous things occur, and my material life transforms and is preserved. When I go deep into the material, wondrous things occur, and my magickal life transforms and is preserved.

If I have trained you well, then you will be thinking of interleaving. If you take nothing else, and I mean nothing else from me, take interleaving. It is perhaps the most useful concept I could ever impart.

This is life to me - choosing what and how to interleave.

But anyways, back to the topic at hand. I do not wish to provide myself with behavioral inclinations towards feelings of obligation based on fear/guilt arising from semi-public proclamations, but nonetheless, I enjoy and feel called to do what I do.

I, perhaps unsurprisingly, have a vagueish plan for when I intend to speak the Keys once more. There should be no rush to these things, nor should there be a sense of obligation to angels to do their practice, or some feeling of “if I don’t do this then something bad will happen due to missing out.” If you don’t do it, then you will not receive the results, but you will be free to do something else.

The next time around, perhaps I will prepare, allow my mind to begin to simmer in Enochian energies by doing the special formations for the Pleasure and Happiness cycles, and then from there proceed into the magick of the Keys with no consolidation weeks in between and progress steadily on through. It is likely that I will want a break between the Aethyrs and the Loagaeth tables, and however long that break may be, if there is too much time spent in dalliance then the pathworking will likely lack the focus and commitment I would like it to have, and there are also material concerns, as I have to design my life around this pathworking, rather than designing magick around my mundane (if it can be said to be so) life.

Ebbs and flows, waves and undulations.

It is the reality that I have little idea as to whether what most of what I am putting out here is original due to my lack of access to various things. This does not particularly matter to me, I suppose. I know that I did not come up with many of the concepts in the RotNS on my own and lifted many of them directly from the grimoire Lucifer and the Hidden Demons, which should be quite apparent. Others are almost rips from pop pseudo-psychology. Others were very much so more received ideas with varying levels of amusing synchronicity. The Enochian magick which I have developed, explored, and come to understand for myself in my own practice is quite useful to me in my own practice, and in sharing it, it would please me to know that others find it to be an acceptable practice of high quality.

I, personally, find the Freedom Sex Money Power Success paradigm to be a rather useful set of magickal practices and concepts which I will perhaps return to once again. There is the possibility that Money could be replaced, but certainly not at least until after more extensive work in this area, and I would not remove that unless I were satisfied with my level of wealth. Even when you are about as far out to the mystical end of the spectrum as you can possibly get, I believe that money is an essential connection to the material world which should be maintained. Similarly, even when about as far out to the material end of the spectrum as you can possibly get, I believe a connection to the mystical is essential.

At the end of the day, magick is here for you. I believe some good ole practical magick to get what you want is always going to be a great idea. Deep mystical journeys into the depths of magickal reality are pretty cool, but so is getting laid getting paid amirite. Or, like, doing that even better.

On a related note, I find it difficult to see myself ever really dropping Enochian sex magick as a usual regular practice. It’s just too damn efficient and too fucking effective, and those things I can get behind. I mean it just does basically everything and takes up almost no extra time if you already usually orgasm on a regular basis, and for an interleaver like myself, sigil magick is amazing. It also energetically creates and encourages sources of happiness and pleasure, which is a pretty nice combination.

Enochian Power Magick (Universal Magick) I do like, but think that I would really only do it for freeform practical magick if I were already doing Enochian rather extensively, such as speaking the Keys. I like the power Enochian energies bring into sex magick, but Enochian Power Magick, as is perhaps implied by my name for it, really juices you up into being a power freak, which isn’t bad, but isn’t always what I’m trying to do. I think it is a good energy to have and to experience, certainly, though. Literally just saying the word “power” has a very different feel to me now than it has been before, and it can be good to remind yourself energetically that magick is still powerful even when it is not Power magick.

I am also of the opinion that it is very likely a good idea to regularly perform the RotNS while going deep in Enochian if that is a demonic energy which suits you. You don’t have to be a full-time hater, and perhaps this is simply my unique experience given my various circumstances, which involved extended solitude regarding humans while my mind was becoming a beacon of supreme radiance, but it can be the case that if you don’t connect with demonic energy, you will lose the will to do the usual things which it is generally a good idea to do when it comes to humans, especially those who are not hopped up on intensely divine magick energies. You forget how base, corrupt, and absolutely material these beings are. A little RotNSing never hurt anybody, right?

Oh yeah, this dude’s a hater, and even better, we can be haters together. It’s a good thing to remember that not everyone is a hater. I can sense it, radiating from within you, like a dark pulse of energy. I know that it is not directed at me, but is an invitation.

It is also, most certainly definitely absolutely 100% the case that I just don’t see how these people live largely material lives without getting psyched up on delight. Really I don’t know how they do it. It’s not like it just happens in the ritual. It carries over into your experience and arises spontaneously.

Maybe I’m just a thoroughly demonic dude, but angel energy alone just doesn’t cut it if I have to do lots of things around relatively lots of humans. I am, thankfully, long past the delusion of good and evil, and I also understand that my having and using knowledge with “good” intentions does not make me a scheming, psychopathic manipulator. Well, at the least it makes me one with good intentions, and I assure you, the results if I didn’t do this intentionally would be much more suffering for myself and others.

I, personally, am at ease with what The Institution has decided to call people of my personality type, regardless of the fact that I myself am much more functional in my career and personal lives than many others, who are complete toxic shitbags, whom I have had the misfortune of meeting. Fortunately for me, the caricatures of psychopaths in pop culture tend to just be literal crazy serial killers or very charming, good looking, and likable serial killers. It’s just so ridiculously extreme that it’s hard to believe there are actually people like that who don’t literally axe kill (redrum is not allowed in this text editor) people in a serial fashion, I suppose as opposed to a parallel fashion. Well I certainly would include interleaving, that just makes good sense.

Narcissists, on the other hand, oh they get fucked. Toxic person? Bam, call em a narcissist, case closed. Instantly demonized and perceived as “generally believably shitty.” Not exactly my problem, but that is my observation of the masses’ amusing pop armchair psychologizing. Remember folks, gaslighting means no go, at least for me. Do all of them gaslight everyone? To my knowledge, I have interacted with exactly one who didn’t gaslight me, or should I say, try to gaslight me, so I suppose not.

I literally just have a vague idea as to something or some things I want to write about and then just put words down as I go along. If there is some sort of cohesive arc to what is going on here, then it’s probably a result of my ingrained learning when it comes to writing. In this essay I will abandon the concept of an introduction and allow freedom in my expression without being “quirky” while bearing in mind conventions of various styles and varying levels of skill within those styles to create the post-post-modern neo-contemporary hyper occult writing fusion, brought to you by yours truly.

Where are we even going with this? Who knows dude, shinri’s just free associating at this point. Woah, now we’re over here. Woah, now we’re over there.

I guess I’ll stop now. Oh no, I have conformed to the conventions of a standardized conclusion. I could have ended at “yours truly,” for that spicy end on an unresolved note thing which ultimately becomes a sort of resolution within the artform.

What just happened dude. Who’s even reading this. What?

What?

No. I will be clear.

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You ever set foot in a minefield? Even just one mine - that’s intense.

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Musings for the forum

Now that I’m pretty much “out” of Enochian magick (as I was in it before), whenever I summon angelic energy, I have this distinct feeling that I’m calling it down from “up there,” whereas before I was summoning it from “up here.” I believe each time I performed the first ritual with the Nalvage sigil, I had a vision of rising up beyond the clouds and into a place filled with angels. I can still access the beautific vision, perhaps because of my connection to my guardian angel, and sometimes this “spontaneously” arises, but the world feels quite different now, very much so more material. I don’t know how else to describe it other than “less heavenly.” I feel I can say with reasonable confidence now that if you want to go to Heaven, the Nalvage sigil is the place to start.

Why wouldn’t you want to do that? Because right now, in this human material life, we live in the material world and have to deal with such realities. I believe one could go their entire life without ever summoning a demon, only angels, and likely be fine, but maybe not for some. I don’t think I would do very well with that, for example, as I have been too steeped in the material corruption, and it is and has been my experience that my life and relationships go better when I work with myself as I know I am and make use of the knowledge and abilities that I have to better my life.

These are mysteries, but it would seem to me that there is something important about a connection to the material world, even if that connection is not always maintained. I am currently skeptically of the belief that after death there is some sort of intermediate bardo/purgatory state and then there is either liberation or rebirth into the material or another realm, such as a heavenly astral realm, untethered from the material world but tethered to another. This is believed by the Pure Land Buddhists, who make reincarnation into a heavenly realm a goal. I would imagine a good way to go about achieving that is by summoning angels who bring Heavenly powers down into your life in the material and seemingly transport or transform your consciousness or spirit into a more heavenly state.

There is a part of me that doubts all this, but there is also the part of me that cannot doubt the reality of magick, and the reality of magick is not a trivial thing, nor does it imply materialism. That’s kind of a big deal.

I do still believe in a balance, however. I’ve spent so much time recently deep in magickal exploration that the rest of my life came to feel very trivial and unimportant by comparison. In some ways, fair enough, but I do enjoy having a material life and doing these material things, and demons, and I’m talking real demony demons, not cosmic nebula space demons, make the humans so much more enjoyable, it’s not even close, at least for me.

Don’t get me wrong, I am completing the Soyga pathworking, and that is not negotiable, but I see no rush, and I’d like to do stuff with my life other than transcend it. Much of my life has been on very strict deadlines with imposing thresholds of required achievement, and after attaining much more freedom from these things, and subsequently undoing the previous karmic traces rooted in behavioral and lifestyle requirements oriented around those barriers in time, I view my life much differently.

My thinking is now not so much, “I have to do this or someone with power over me will punish me,” but instead, “What experiences do I want to have?” This is a very different way of thinking and one that I recommend cultivating, something I believe the RotNS, or the variant I used as a base of inspiration, can help one do. Even while bound to various requirements, I still just did what I wanted, and here I am.

(It’s interesting, one feels the need to summon darkness, and the other light. Does darkness just so naturally arise within my being that a dark light is needed to counter this, and does dark light just so naturally arise within yours that some darkness is needed to balance this? Why is it that I thrive in the cold, and others in heat, and presumably all achieve similar things even if the allegorical descriptions are pointing at different things depending on what system you’re using? Is that correct? I like warmth as well. I like that power which comes from harnessing darkness. I can appreciate the feeling of weight behind a power. I don’t try to assume or project, but in case it’s not obvious, I find these mysteries quite compelling.)

This does open up the conundrum of how to spend your time. Here, I believe a balance is very good to have between fully engaged flow state learning activities and relaxation activities. There are two dimensions - challenge level and skill level. An activity which takes high skill and presents you with great challenge, but not too much challenge, puts you in flow. An activity which takes high skill but presents you with little challenge puts you in relaxation.

I should clarify. If you are already skilled at something, like writing, for example, and are doing that and using your skill but aren’t feeling particularly exerted, that’s probably relaxing, like it is for me. If you are not that relatively skilled at something, but are at that sweet spot of appropriate challenge to your skill level where learning occurs around optimal levels, that produces flow. If something doesn’t take much skill, like rote tasks, those are usually boring because your mind has little to be engaged with and there is little pleasure being experienced from passion that would be cultivated through skill learning or other continuous sources of pleasure.

It sounds like I’m rambling but I’m going somewhere with this. I will often tend to try and cram as much learning flow state activities into my schedule as is possible to maximize my learning potential because I’ve got a lot of shit I want to learn, but this can lead to disbalance with relaxation activities. It’s hard for me to just do something without starting to plan my glorious future achievements and how I will get to those achievements, but I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing.

I’m just going off on lifestyle design now. I think the key is to balance your passions so that when you need to let the fire simmer down a bit on one, you can turn to something else that you could either flow state with or relaxation state with, either one. That way, over the course of your entire life, your pleasure, passion, and pride, and so thusly your freedom, is maximized.

Instead of wasting your time on random crap you don’t really care about and that doesn’t matter, you give your time to activities that nourish you by giving you pathways to achieve things you can be proud of. I see no reason to seek “society approval” or whatever. If you want to make the record, do it because you’ll enjoy it and will always have that forever thereafter. Even if you don’t write fiction, do you really engagedly relax when you watch some fiction, thinking about, wondering about the plot and the characters, noting the camerawork, the acting, the animation if applicable, style elements, perhaps gleaning something from it that connects with other interests, or do you kinda just clonk out for 2 hours? Clonking out isn’t terrible, but I at least find it so much more relaxing when I can easily take my mind off of other things by chill-ly engaging with some fiction, allowing myself to experience the emotions of the story while also feeling a bit intellectually engaged as well, but not challenged, like I have to really put something in and perform. I have something to do that’s easy and occupies my attention, allowing me to relax.

Is this a luxury? I would say so, and I hacked it by making my financial work aligned with my pleasure in the long-term scheme of things, and of course by making the principles of be efficient be effective my religion. These principles are now deeply emotionally rooted into my being and only grow stronger as I nourish them.

To some, it may sound exhausting, but I find the opposite to be true. It feels so, so good to be efficient and be effective. Like fuck yeah dude, I was pretty effective today. Boring shit gets reduced and ultimately eliminated, as does painful shit, and I figure out how to get what I want, which includes how to balance my life and give myself the rest I need without falling into lethargy, and how to give myself the challenges I need without falling into negative emotion or burnout, from negative emotion, while maintaining good energy levels to be efficient and be effective.

In short, being efficient and being effective, along with various other psychological traits, solves your problems and creates self-actualization, pleasure, freedom, and happiness, and I don’t know if there’s anything more important in life for me than that.

And on that note, I will allow myself to experience the rest I want to have, and to feel the pleasure of that rest.

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Ohhhh jeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzz I’m so confuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuused.

Now that’s an intense mile.

Would you like to know what I love about myself? I’m so unassuming. I make such great use of the second of the tools in the toolbelt. Crackle crackle pop pop.

Oh-h-h-h, this feels good. I got so much shit to do, but I also got so much shit to not do, and ain’t that just fuckin dandy.

I’ll make you a bet, dear readers. I bet that if you practice attempting to recall your dreams often enough without reading over the notes, occasionally using “what was the peace dream?” as a retrieval cue, regularly recalling a bunch of dream memory, you’ll start to do it so automatically that it would be more difficult not to do it.

What the fuck are these strange and mystical runes I scribbled down in the middle of the night? Uggggggggh, oh shit, now I can read all of this. Ah, yes, remembrance.

Fuck me do I love magick. It’s such a goddamn awesome time. And now that I am aligned, what could stop me?

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORDSSSSSSSS

Holy shit this is easier than I thought. Oh yeah, that’s right, all that K N O W L E D G E, P R A C T I C E, fuckin S T U D Y. Jesus Christ. Some people’s heads are so far up their own asses, it appears that they are a normal human being, but in reality, what you are seeing is an illusion, as their head loops around their back, up their ass, and then back up through their body and out the top of their body, in an infinite head-up-ass loop. At least their risk of prostate cancer should be reduced! Truly a natural wonder of the universe, to witness infinity manifested in the beauty of nature, like the golden ratio, or my enjoyment of ice cream.

I am become sponge, absorber of power.

What a fucking joke.

Ah, pardon me officer, just taking a shit. Don’t you worry now, I was holding my breath.

Not too often you get to bust out one of these.

205

It’s amazing how much mental punishment I can take. It’s simply because I do not allow the fear to remain fear. It’s that simple, really not too complicated at all.

Fwew, surprisingly dusty in here, given how much water there is. I just like to see how similarly aligned people may or may not be to what is perhaps a common thread in the flow of reality. It amuses me, like someone dropping an apple and seeing where it lands.

Goddamn dude, this used to be my only reality. Literally only battles because big battles make inconsequential or not big deals into battles. Fighting fighting fighting with everything at stake. Please ignore the political backdrop as I give myself therapy and practice my writing.

It’s probably a bad habit to do this, so I won’t for now. I just like to remember the underlying causes and conditions which give rise to the necessity to summon chaos.

I suppose magick works in amusing ways. It allows me to stand, unbroken, while I see others living as broken-in thralls, dead emptiness in their eyes, regurgitating, unable to make a single decision in their life, and gee, I wonder fucking why. Let’s blame society. The government. Poor people. Schoolteachers.

I really have to break certain habits. Others I’ll keep.

I find that clarity requires some persistence at times. Clarity dream not too clear? Good thing I’ll have more.

The RotNS also seems to take you on its own dream pathworking, or at the least provide you with a pretty seemingly good tool for dream practice. I suppose that is the root of the situation. It’s interested what can happen when you allow your subconscious mind, fertilized by magickal intention, to be the I that is in control.

Magick’s never been entirely merciful on me, but I suppose that’s partially because this world is quite lacking in that trait while it is plentiful in baseless, cruel malice and egotistical stupidity. I am grateful for magick and all it has done for me. I don’t like to sob over my own story, but I can consider the alternative paths, including the ones where I let outside influencers control me like they wanted to do, and oh my are those paths ultra shitty. When it comes to playing the long game, I’m just too damn effective for my own good. Oh, no wait, that doesn’t make any sense. There is no such thing as being too effective.

I fucking hate doing this. But I suppose I’ve always worn the big boy fucking pants, done a little THINKING, studying, evaluating, which of course only applies to the fake world and not the real world, which is why surgeons spend so much time studying, so they can perform fake surgery on fake people with all their lack of street smarts while getting fucked up the ass by someone because they chose surgery and not psychiatry. Not writing, just to be clear. Perhaps my words will at least provide some cathartic release so I do not completely waste any of my readers’ time, presuming that I have readers. I will do my best to deliver the remainder of the Keys pathworking, at my leisure, as I now have many things I’m trying to do and a life I’m trying to live, and to normally provide useful, educational, emotionally healing, perhaps entertaining, and magickal occult material for reading and profit.

The great thing about people who try to beat you with bootstraps is that you can just ignore them and watch them allegorically shrivel up and die as you deny them the light of your time and attention, which they so desperately crave because their own light is insufficient for themselves, and also egoic fear, because I am a good farmer, and I always reap my harvest. Not to imply that it’s bad to socialize. I most certainly believe that it is good to have a wide social circle and several close friends, but to ensure that proper filters are in place, to avoid undesirable infections, like a diseased apple ruining the batch. It is good that wealth flows through me like a tornado, keeping me light on my feet, as why would I allow the boulder to crash into my face? That doesn’t sound like a particularly efficient or effective time, washing my clothes of boulder remains.

I will be enjoying my life of freedom which I have manifested with magick, dear readers. Perhaps you will be enjoying yours. Or perhaps not. I suppose it’s none of my fucking business, now is it.

Pardon the harshness of tone. It is a natural and unavoidable consequence of decisions I have made, and I would like to think that, should I have them, any regular reader of mine will realize it’s not pointed at them but is designed with providing magickal effect in mind, and of course for my own amusement, which is why I do most things nowadays unrelated to root chakra things.

Funny, how some just love to give advice while radiating hatred like the sun radiates heat, while some who are selfish to their bones bring light and peace to the world around them while building a life, step by step on all detractors, thieves, and petty thugs, action by action, like the cold clear calculating opportunists at spreading happiness pleasure and freedom that they are.

Tolerance and Conduct. I suppose it is my pleasure. Regardless, I don’t mind starting over. Beginner’s mind brings many possibilities, including opportunities to get out of the fucking chair and into The World.

Mmm, now that was a good one. How to sell my soul to the devil. Classic move there my dude, let me help you out with that.

Oh yes, you better believe it. Hail Satan :metal: :metal:

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I would like to take a moment to express the value of peeling back.

If I recall correctly, it was just a bit under 4 years ago when I was given/awoken to the knowledge that I could manifest anything at will using a very simple technique involving a visualization with imagery that was magickal, dabbing on some energy, and of course making an intention for the manifestation.

At the time, I knew this to be true, and maybe my surface mind couldn’t fully articulate it, but I had some understanding of why. I believe my surface mind was the only thing holding me back from a full expression and exploration of this power.

When I say surface mind, here in this context, I mean the conscious and subconscious “human mind.” Word choice is a bit tricky here. I don’t want to say “mundane mind” because I believe my conscious and subconscious minds are far from mundane at this point.

Sometimes, magick feels a bit too much like a synchronicity puzzle which desperately needs to be solved. Get the right numbers, or images, or personal associations, put it all together, figure out the ritual, and then it’ll be ok. In my experience, you can get quite a few of these going on all at once, with 3+ magickal decisions being made every day. What sigil, what ritual, what other ritual, what tarot reading, what meditation, it is a constant string of receptions and subsequent decisions that can take up so much of your mental space throughout your time that there is little room for the subjects themselves which are at hand.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. It could be exactly what you need to get out of your own way and give your mind something to crunch on so your surface mind doesn’t mess up your magick.

The downside, though, is that there is just so much thinking. So much constant, incessant activity, information processing, all the buzzing and whirring of the gears of your mind trying to make sense of what it is experiencing.

I most certainly do not dislike practical magick, or any of the platforms and tools which give guidance and provide indications. I like how different magick systems have their own energy about them. It can make it even harder for your surface mind to fuck it up.

Sometimes though it’s just so loud. So much noise. It can make magick feel like a hyper-intense struggle of holding together a fundamentally fragile and unstable structure under constant pressure. To find the right answer, you must go here, do this, spin around three times, jump upside down with, etc.

I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong or necessarily ineffective with that approach, but it is one rooted in working with certain limitations of the surface mind rather than accepting and allowing the surface mind to transform in other ways.

I just want to meditate. I already know I am damn effective at life, generally speaking. I don’t think the problem is magick, I think the problem is my relationship with magick. I don’t think there’s really a “problem” at all, which is sort of the point.

At some point I had been feeling like I was trying to squeeze a massive amount of something through a tiny hole, like every decision was met with a tidal wave of resistance and push back towards disaster, all for what seems so easy to me to just reach over and gently pick up in the palm of my hand were it not for the forces which worked against me. Now I feel like there is nothing to squeeze and there is no hole, just a blanket of light and luminosity passing through empty forms.

207

I consider myself to be a bit of a learning freak, so here are some thoughts I’ve been thinking recently. I’m thinking about art but it is applicable to other subjects as well, including logical systems.

I generally think about 3ish different things - fundamental techniques or technical skills, “composition” if you want to use music terms, like pre-written relatively long complete works of art which you copy, and then improvisation or spontaneous creation. There is also a 4th category of pre-fundamental ability. If the context is an instrument, then it would be physical dexterity. If it is programming, for example, then it would be something like logical and mathematical understanding. For a sport, this could be physical muscle strength, flexibility, and stamina. It is whatever needs to be present to enable you to do fundamental techniques or technical skills, which in turn allow for greater ability with “compositions” and “improvisations.”

Ultimately you can also break these down into two, maybe three categories. There is copying others, and then there is creative production on your own (or in collaboration, but contributing something that you create yourself rather than copy). Why I say maybe three is that when copying, you can either be going off of reference or going off of memory. So copying either way, but one is engaging retrieval practice.

Fun fact - it is said that Beethoven was a better improviser than he was composer. We just have his compositions because those did not arise and then pass away in unrecorded time, like many of his improvisations.

There are a few points people tend to get stuck at, in my opinion. One is relying too much on reference when copying. I am personally of the opinion that improvisation, which is what you are doing if you create a composition over time, relies heavily on a “database” within your mind of material from the artform or subject. To build a good and proper database, you need strong memories of the art materials, and strong memories are formed via retrieval practice spaced over time, which is to say, trying to remember and retrieve the stuff from your memory rather than referencing and directly copying, and to do this spaced out across time until you are sufficiently satisfied with the strength of the memory.

I am now of the belief that this fundamental principle of learning is applicable to everything, not just, say, memorizing huge amounts of facts and systems of medical or legal information for exams, or memorizing procedural processes, like how to solve certain types of math problems for an exam. The procedural stuff is like an approach to a general type of situation, how you go about the process of deciphering a problem and the steps you take to understand and solve it. Knowing that 2 goes into 10 5 times is a retrieved fact, solving for 101 divided by 2 is a procedural process, however quickly your mind system may perform that process, unless you have that memorized.

I am of the belief that creative practices like art creation involve retrieving various bits of memory that are applicable to relevant contexts combined with using procedural systems to combine individual art components in novel ways. I would say that improving your creativity involves improving how you go about your process of creation primarily, with a secondary thing being increasing the depth or breadth of material you have to pull from. I suppose both of these would really be primary, it just depends on your particular creative situation. If you would benefit from expanding your vocabulary more, then acquiring more art material into your memory would improve your creativity as you’d have more stuff to mash together essentially. If you’ve got plenty of art stuff already, then it’s about improving how you do the mashing, perhaps localized into sub-sections of an overarching composition/improvisation (improvisation can have various degrees of form), or perhaps how you mash your sub-sections into the overarching creation, or your choice of sub-sections.

I think that about does it. You should now have a reference for obtaining an understanding of how art (or anything) is created by human mind systems. I find this to be empowering, enlightening, inspiring, and overall just a delightful bit of knowledge as it is the answer to any creative block or question as to the optimal learning path, so long as you are able to gauge your current position with reasonable accuracy and are willing to do whatever it is you need to do to correct for lacking areas and strengthen weaker points.

One thing that I like about art is that this is essentially if not absolutely an infinitely doable process. There should be practically or literally an infinite variety of combinations. It is endlessly stimulating.

I myself found myself in the somewhat rarer but amusing situation, within the context of learning I was in, where I was unbalanced in the way of having too much improvisation and not enough copying. I was getting reasonable pre-fundamental skill development, but my fundamentals weren’t coming along as they could have been due to relatively ineffective practice. I will now elaborate.

I would stick to the same etudes, over and over again, forever. This was partially because I was taking on material of likely a bit too high of difficulty for me while striving for perfection. You can take on more difficult material than you expect oftentimes so long as you are chill with aiming for a sub-perfect performance of that or somehow a lower level version of it, which is fine. Eventually you don’t want to cap yourself, but you also don’t want to be taking on more than you can effectively practice. You should be able to know this if the material is either so easy it is of little challenge or so difficult that you can’t even do an imperfect version and just sort of flounder about with your brain overloaded and not practicing with intention.

A good rule of thumb is to gauge how often you outright fail completely and essentially learn nothing. If you are “failing” at many things, but effectively learning other aspects close to full capacity, that should be fine, but if things are going so fast that you can’t do anything but attempt to copy, fail most of those, and don’t have time to correct, then that is likely ineffective practice for you and you should slow down.

An example - I can scat sing some jazz stuff relatively really really fast. I can then go back and recall what just came out of me and then slow it down and hear better wtf just happened. Something I’ve found is that I’ll learn some fast and nasty jazz lines, then at some point slow it down, and I’ll hear patterns I practiced at like 30 bpm back in the day, barely getting them kinda right but not with exactly the best tone and probably a bit out of tune, now at like 300. At higher speeds it can be difficult to recognize the small individual components, like individual notes, because the information is all happening so fast and your subconscious mind is creating faster than your conscious mind can keep up with, which is pretty cool if you ask me. It could also be that you can’t label the individual components accurately with words in elaborated thought, perhaps due to lack of theory study/practice, but do understand what you are doing artistically because you have memory to recognize patterns.

So back to my historical example, I would spend a chunk of time doing less than optimal technical practice, which did also help some in the composition copying department, followed by a brief amount of time learning a composition, usually a relatively simple (albeit really good) melody, followed by the absolute struggle (for me) of trying to learn really seemingly complicated chord progressions and subsequently improvise over those. Additional elaboration.

The chord progressions were really hard for me because I didn’t have an intuitive understanding of common harmonic patterns, like ii-V-I. It doesn’t matter what key it is, it’s a ii-V-I, and more advanced musicians know that and also have the technical fundamentals combined with theory knowledge to play and translate patterns they know into whatever key relatively easily because they aren’t thinking about notes, they’re thinking “ii-V-I stuff.” So essentially their thinking is more efficient as it is based on better procedural processes for their creation. Not only did I not have good procedural processes, I didn’t have a good memory database of “ii-V-I” stuff either, so I didn’t really have anything to pull from either.

What I should have done was listened to what my teachers suggested, which was to play off the melody. Who cares if it’s not super original and mega hip, I could actually play the composed melody and then play with the composed melody. That gives you a structure to copy and follow but also room for improvising and learning procedures and patterns for improvisation.

See I do this cause I’m elaborating and I’ve already gleaned useful stuff from this for my own practices, so Namaste myself, thank you myself.

Others, depending on the learning environment, this being a formal school environment, often have the opposite problem, which is too much time on copying compositions and not enough personal creative output. The result of this is an artist that can learn and perform compositions well but can’t personally create anything, like at all. Oh shit, we gotta finish early, let’s go ahead and resolve after the next bar of this ultra classical piece. Into what?? PANIC!! Ugh, the I? Can you voice lead into the I? You can play with extreme technical mastery and memorize hours if not days of music, but can you choose to voice lead into the I? I forget how the story actually goes but it was even clearer than that, true story. Shit I can voice lead into the I, hand over the violin.

One last example - learning a game, let’s say chess. How would you go about doing that?

Take a think, ponder for a moment, filling up some space here so you can contemplate, ok, yeah, think about it, ok.

This is what I would do - first, learn the rules. Ok got that, boom, done. While you’re doing that, watch some games and stoke that flame of wonder and curiosity. Next, start doing chess puzzles/problems. Next, start learning fundamental concepts through educational materials, preferably materials that include actual games being played, perhaps even with amusing commentary. Next, start playing games (you can do that before the next step, I just like to have a bit of guidance as that auto-ranks you up past probably 99% of people who pick up the game). Next, start analyzing games on your own. Review the game occasionally and try to remember what happened and then think about the moves, maybe play some stuff out. As you watch games, engage with it, think about your moves, think about the actual moves. Review your own games. You can review grandmaster/pro games, but also study lower rank games with more easily applicable situations and basic concepts for you.

Can you identity all of the abstracted learning principles which are being applied in this example? Can you then apply them to your practices, and observe as you become Godlike in your learning, with incredible efficiency and effectiveness, becoming an eidolon of a speed demon, deep with profound wisdom and understanding?

Normally I review my writing but I gotta go bye

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Some quick ideas for you today

With the Guardian Angel energy raising process, I also constructed a sigil with the 42 Letter Name of God (I do not read Hebrew and so this required some cross-referencing due to different fonts, oops) and that produced a different quality of energy, as I suppose seemed quite reasonable to expect, and I will also be trying out the arrangement of names around the Universal Magick sigils. Why is it Arsl instead of Arzl? Fuck if I know, I just know the magick worked.

I’m thinking I’ll wait on the “level two” Aethyr mash-up sigils until after speaking the Keys all the way through. I suppose the preparatory phases to the first Soyga table (which I have yet to construct) are more extensive than I expected (I didn’t even expect there to be preparatory phases). I’ll probably print those out though due to the geometry.

Reminder that these sigils are meant to enhance and refine your own personal energy, as the Angel’s energy is just fine really.

Also, I considered adding the extra words that somehow you get from the 42 Letter Name, but I’m leaning towards simplicity and peeling back where possible with these, and the Name alone seemed to be effective.

I do this practice directly prior to getting into bed to enter into dream practice, so just one sigil per day. It feels like the energy is active and present throughout the day, culminating in intentions and other such things at the end of the day when doing a session.

This definitely feels like more of an advanced practice. I’d say the more effective you are with other magickal and spiritual methods, the better Guardian Angel magick will work for you, even moreso than with other magick. It seems rather difficult to do this practice without being able to sense magickal energies and without having some degree of resting mindfulness and other meditative abilities, as well as trust in magick to manifest results and how to practice manifestation.

Time, ever the question. I suppose it comes down to how important magick is to you.

Also, fun facts, I have found myself automatically recalling dream memories more reliably now since switching to the notepad instead of a voice recording. It could just be due to how many practice sessions I’ve gotten in since I’ve started practicing in earnst (earnest?), or due to me more diligently attempting to recall first with a minimum of retrieval cues (first none, what do I remember, then visualizations, then the setting at the beginning of each dream). There are also benefits to a lack of laxity.

It is what it is, dream practice can be tough. I have had to intentionally schedule my life so that I have 9 hours before me before I am staying awake for the day to make up for all the time throughout the night scribbling down dreams. I fall back asleep pretty easily, but my dreams are often quite long and densely filled with details which are important to note down.

On the note of insomnia, as this is something I’ve encountered with an inconsistent sleep schedule and dream practice, if it looks like I’m not going to fall asleep within like 15 minutes at most (usually it’s much less time than that), I’ll just get up and do something like read a book or eat some chocolate and accept the sleep loss and use it to fall asleep more readily the next day and to increase motivation to get consistent with the sleep schedule. If it’s longer than a minute or so, I’ll do a progressive muscle relaxation exercise, which is often quite helpful.

Lucidity progress is still slow as I’m actually busier in my life than it may come across to you all sometimes, and this is compounded by chaos bringing about the need to re-stabilize habits to increase efficiency and also by the need for some soothing activities during such times. I tend to stabilize important things first, resist opening the door to de-stabilizing pseudo-soothers, and then gradually filter out the last remaining undesirable or no longer needed routines and fill in the lower priority items. This is helpful for my lifestyle design as I’d need to journal to myself about this anyways to aid my intentions with this area but this way I get to also put out some content on the topic, so that’s cool.

Too bad my intentional, conscious self is not as able as my non-lucid self in the dream with regards to the possibilities of action within the dream. Presently, that is to say.

Modernity, a room crammed full, blue and gold streaks in the hair

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Yup the Enochian sigil works. Tempting to just use that one, but I think I will do some more investigating as to the different qualities of energy that each sigil generates.

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I realize that, for the people here, this may not exactly be great leaps forward in magickal methodologies.

It is amusing, though, to continue to unpack enlightenment.

Given the nature of Guardian Angel magick, it is nice to know that magick has given us more specified methods, for the benefit of our own material ignorance, and yes indeed, for our own amusement.

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This is why I like dream practice.

You are in the dream, and an event occurs which causes you, in the moments after the fact, to feel like you got hit with a ton of bricks all at once and were processing the reapercussions of what had just occurred to you in your experience.

Then, after demonstrating my intention to display my coming in peaceliness to some people with weapons, I chilled out for a moment and viewed across a field a vibrantly colorful, interesting series of images, with the impression that it is good to look distances of varying lengths, ideally very far away while focusing on something, aka welcome to loagaeth magick.

Flips card face up bwahahahhaha

Following this there was combat. Close quarters battle with pistols, me against two enemy, hallway shaped like a T, me standing at the bottom of the T, one enemy each side of other end. I had just maneuvered to that position. A few shots back and forth, they bail out I shoot at both angles and advance. Peek around at one corner a bit shoot, then do the other. Pull back around to the bottom of T position. (this is probably where you should need to reload and should I think do so regardless) Hold the angle, not right on it but a bit off to the side, one comes around corner, pretty sure I reacted faster, next one comes in a moment after, definitely got that one. Bang bang. I would say go to jail, but we’re not in the business of taking prisoners today.

– FA (false awakening), in my residence. Symbology and stuff. Have another hits you like a ton of bricks moment as I come to sense the ramifications of being able to have an experience that hits you like a ton of bricks in the dream state.

Emerge into my body in the waking state, ugh, oh yeah I gotta dream journal or I’ll probably forget that, that’s fucked up dude.

Also, the first ton of bricks moment came after a scene which had divinatory qualities relating to the next day, and more broadly. These divinatory qualities led to me realizing that something seemed likely, logically speaking, it just made logical sense, and this informed a decision I made to not go with that option anyways and to do this instead because I liked the various benefits to that approach.

Enochian is a wonder and a delight, and I also like Hebrew letters angel magick. I enjoy transmutating out 30 years, that’s a fun and enjoyable time. Hebrew angel magick is also not always as super intense, which really is nice to have. Practically speaking I think you’re good either way, it’s more about the energy feeling and the more “mystical” qualities.

I do, indeed, have a life, and so I do not think that I’ll be cranking out a Table a week like I will be in the 2nd Soyga Table. While you are constructing the Table you do connect with it though so the energy will be present. I have elaborated upon how I do Loagaeth rituals higher up in this thread.

If you don’t have much of a dream practice, then I’m just gonna guess that things will still happen and probably be correct on that, and it could be just a result of doing dream practice, but it does seem like Loagaeth magick is doing stuff with dreams. Sometimes the Enochian ones are particularly Enochian.

I wonder how common that is, to sense the energy of Loagaeth.

I am also pleased with how much I can sustain such a large flow of chaos. It truly is amazing what can happen in only a few months, with such a vague notion of where it was all going.

I must say though that now my interest is sufficiently piqued, and I feel more at ease with my practice with a new idea for my lifestyle overall. At some point you cross over the barrier from good practical magick setup to live your life to on over to good in-depth spiritual magick setup you got going on there with some practical magick elements to do that stuff. If you do too much magick while you’re trying to be more material then you’ll end up in a sort of middle-ground straddle-y area where you’re either like a really bloated practical setup or a lacking mystical setup.

If you want to interleave many different energies together effectively, then I think it’s good to think about functionality in the practice. You can want a practical effect but mystical energy. I know I have that. I find it much more rewarding to do pathworkings than to merely dip my toes in, flounder about, repeat.

Anyways. Back to my life.

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Remember, there’s no “I” in Team! Nor is there “I” in the multitudinous legions of sub-minds.

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It is such a great feeling when you follow-up on a possibility and confirm that, yes indeed, you were right, and not only were you right, the entire foundation of logical reasoning which made you intuitively feel that you were right is indeed quite solid and logically sound.

That’s the thing about “intuition” and such guidance - if your views are based in irrational, egoicly biased stupidity, then that’s what will be guiding you - egoic stupidity. Sometimes, egoic stupidity manifests as irrational, baseless fears largely stemming from an unawareness of the availability heuristic (and prior to this, an unawareness of the mind). Sometimes, egoic stupidity manifests as aggressive or malicious actions taken due to perceived threats to the ego.

I would classify illogical courses of action derived from profound and extensive ignorance to be mostly the fear-based egoic stupidity. However, it does seem to sometimes be the case that one is genuinely pleased with their perceived knowledge and so egoic stupidity manifests with a similarly constricting quality, although based in pleasure rather than negative emotion. This seems to frequently be the case with people who have been involved with something for a longer period of time than you and so believe that sheer time involvement equates to skill, knowledge, or “wisdom,” when that is simply false. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, I would task a 17 year old private fresh out of basic with establishing home security over a 40 year Call of Duty veteran. One has relevant training, the other has what they believe to be “relevant experience.” It’s like someone who’s done 300,000 coloring books vs someone who took half an intro to drawing class. Egoic stupidity is truly an amazing phenomena to behold, manifesting in an observed subject.

This would be a prime example of why it is important to practice the RotNS in a balanced way with all parts included. I speak only for myself and would imply that others with similar psychologies to mine should train themselves similarly. Hating the self is not helpful, but feeling emotionally compelled towards investigation and removing ego from knowledge-seeking is absolutely essential to not fall into egoic stupidity, like so, so many do.

Yea, truly, it is astounding, the capacity of a mind to appear to be listening and engaging in information processing, when all that is actually happening is receiving ideas into the working memory, and then immediately reacting to the ideas with egoic stupidity, not actually thinking about them but immediately telling yourself why you are already correct.

It is literally impossible to have rational discussions with egoicly stupid people. They will never listen to you. They will always make it about ego. They will always believe they are right. If you try to question their logic, they get defensive and perceive that as a threat to their ego rather than as “collaborative logical reasoning,” by which I usually mean elaborating because collaborative logical reasoning has this implication of a shared pool of knowledge which is being advanced, whereas the reality is usually attempted education, albeit with “students” plagued by egoic stupidity sufficiently to believe that they should be the teacher. If you eventually present an idea to them so often enough across enough time that it somehow becomes a part of their availability heuristic, or somehow through their mental gymnastics they come to believe that they came up with the idea somehow, really that is what they do I’m not joking, then there won’t even be the appearance of mutually arrived upon logical conclusions, they’ll just act like they knew better all along or attack you because their ego got a perceived boo-boo, or sometimes quite rarely do a little mini-gaslight thing where they are too taken in by their shame to attack you and so just try and cover it up and hey let’s just pretend all that never happened. Now, where were we? Well I’m right and you should be listening to me, of course, that is where we were. It’s not confusing to me, it is simple psychological processes.

This is what egoic stupidity does to people. It’s like building a tower of egoic stupidity. Every brick only reinforces the egoic stupidity. If that keeps going on for long enough, then a “threat” to the structure sufficient enough to collapse it (the higher the tower, the less stable) would inevitably lead to compelled suicide. Think about it. They have this massive tower of stupidity bricks all built on top of their ego, so if that thing collapses it will be enough to kill the ego because it’s not like these people can abide in non-dual awareness and allow the bricks to turn to harmless ash. No, they’ll just realize the sheer immensity of self-hatred that was being smothered by their egoic stupidity and do what hatred compels one to do. If such is the force of self-hatred, that it somehow overcomes the power of egoicly stupid projections onto others, then there is no other logical outcome given the mechanics of emotions as a part of the human psychological system.

If there is something other than egoic stupidity which I would never underestimate, however, it would be the emotional compulsions towards ego-preservation which we colloquially call projection. Freud was certainly a wacky dude, but he didn’t do too bad with that one.

I believe that one of the results of achieving what some call “stream entry,” a relatively early mystical attainment albeit one of the most life-changing and significant, is releasing the in-built tendency towards egoic attachment. It’s not always completely gone, but there is a level of attachment to this that dominates the minds of the untrained in magickal/spiritual practices because they are not really plugged in to the spiritual source like some are, or perhaps I should say, a critical switch is not turned on. You sometimes forget what it was like before when you’ve lived like this for a while, but I can still remember the general quality of my experience, and it was 100% emotional compulsions largely rooted in fear with some egoic stupidity tossed in for good measure, although emotional compulsions rooted in fear would I suppose definitionally be egoic stupidity, well actually maybe just in some people. Shall we investigate?

Arf arf fuckfaces

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With my left hand, my hammer strikes the anvil. With my right hand, my hammer strikes the anvil. Ting, ting, ting, ting, again, again, again, again.

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Oh, you thought I was juicing up before? That’s where you’re wrong, bucko.

It’s hard to feel bad when you are assuming the Godform, energy bursting through you and radiating all around you. But what happens, when you go from believing you are your ego to believing you are the Godform back to your ego? What is in that space in-between?

Just because Enochian can feel intensely powerful, that doesn’t mean it can’t generate an energy of happiness and pleasure.

I believe it is largely a matter of letting go of habitual negative thought patterns by recognizing and knowing them, and subsequently releasing them and returning to an intentional state. At a certain point, the habit to investigate doesn’t do much good as you already know and can trigger an annoyed reaction to what is just the natural workings of the mind. It is ultimately up to you whether or not you allow it to linger in negative emotion or to see in a more positive light.

Everyone has problems, and some have more problems than others. Lingering in negativity only constricts your perception. Deluding yourself does no good, but opening to new ways of seeing and new patterns of thinking does allow you to find the way through while donning the kevlar of knowing the answer.

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The power of optimal experience, now that I find to be very interesting.

I’ve got so much shit lying around, and as I clean it up, I see the wave subsiding, making way for the next. I thought about “hurricane,” but that seemed a bit too airy.

How am I supposed to do that? I don’t know exactly, so let’s find out.

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In a dream, a little boy said to me that someone had said this thing to him, and then afterwards he felt like saying this other thing, and he wondered why he did that. Well, kiddo, I totally can tell you why if you’re curious. He sort of got distracted or lost interest or focus or something, but it was a nice reminder of a time when my curiosity was so severely piqued that I waited years in anticipation for the opportunity to learn, a time when my interests were also not so weaponized. Not that I dislike such things, but it was a nice reminder all the same.

This all took place on my childhood school playground. The newer, renovated one, not the old one. It was so profoundly beautiful. Seeing the children at play was a deeply moving experience. I wanted to tell them to appreciate what it is that they have, to not take it for granted. It made me feel so old, really.

I then wondered (I believe in the waking state, after experiencing a white beautiful light) why I don’t feel this way more often. I believe that what I experienced may be the mythical feeling of “bliss.” I now believe it is in-part because I do not very often intentionally open myself to such feelings and intentionally look to see that in my experience. There has been a resistance to this feeling, as if it were somehow cheap or fake, or in some way illusory and bland, as though other “darker” feelings are somehow more realistic or less illusory than a feeling that just feels really good to feel. Do I need any other reason other than that it makes me feel really good to open myself to feeling a certain way?

What, am I somehow obligated to do something with my experience? Why would I allow myself to buy into a culture of shame?

In a world which has been designed with varying levels of effectiveness to influence and control you, I like to sometimes turn it all off and make it all go away so I can enjoy my experience without needing to continuously defend myself against the designs and agendas of those who care absolutely not at all about me beyond my utility to their plans.

I feel like I do this sort of thing very often, where I start light and end heavy and dark, and sometimes, such is life. I simply take solace in the fact that the same Godnames are invoked to both increase the wrathfulness and the peace of God, so all required wrathful acts are designed to bring about peace. What would life be without some wrathfulness, to decrease the dullness of experience? I suppose it is not a requirement to align oneself with energies which induce wrathfulness, meaning that aligning absolutely with peace is an option.

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So that’s how you think. I see. Given this location and all. I’ve got a story that’s perfect for this atmosphere. I’ll tell you a little secret, Rock.

Let me ask you this. This and this. What would you call these?

A medal and a human skull.

You’re wrong, ey Rock. These are things. When you strip away their meanings, that’s all they are. Just the word “things.” And if you were to once again give these things meaning, their value wouldn’t be determined by some rosy, so-called memory. It would be determined by the one thing everyone agrees on. Money. That’s all these are worth. The rest is nothing but fancy words to add appreciation.

Is money…God?

It’s power. Something a lot more useful than God. Rock. Besides this, what do you put value on? God? Love? Don’t make me laugh. Back when I was a brat and crawling the streets of that dump, for whatever reason, God and love were always out of stock. Before I knew better, I clung to and cried out to God. Well, I believed in God, right up to the day cops beat the hell out of me for something I didn’t do. It was just because I lived in a poor neighborhood. With no power and no God, what can an outsider Bitch rely on? It’s money. And guns. With those two things, the world’s a great place.

I’d rather not have heard that. Sorry.

Shut up.

If I wanted pity, I would’ve added more color to the story. The moral of the story is that when you’re living on life’s edge, that’s all that matters. Not everyone can get off on being normal, Rock. And one more thing. There are wealthy fat bastards living by palm trees and bitches who think putting on makeup is life’s greatest work. I don’t want you speaking your mind from the same viewpoint as those hypocrites. There’s nothing worse than being treated like a whore by your companions. So the next time you try telling me what’s proper, you’ll no longer be one of us. When that happens…I’m gonna kill you.

Yeah, I got it.

Rough crowd, eh? Why do you think I go to all this trouble to establish these mirrors? If shit falls through, so be it. There is an extraordinarily small probability that you could ever possibly imagine, not even to say relate to what it is that I have experienced and the realities of my actions. This does not bother me so much as my bothering of others. Metaphorically speaking, I hear the noise, I hit the ground, I assess, I proceed appropriately. I don’t think about it, and I don’t sit and contemplate the various trials and tribulations which have brought about these circumstances. I see what is happening to me and I deal with it. I see with deep penetrating insight how precisely what I do influences another, meaning that the onus is on me. I can’t just casually say hello. That is all part of what I accepted. I am always in control, except for those oh-so rare circumstances in which I only have to do that to get to a point where I don’t have to do that because my mind has to build new patterns for a very alien situation.

They who live by the sword die by the sword. I was born as legion, and I will live free or die, weapon in hands.

And btw, if you want to understand the Sex part of Freedom Sex Money Power Success, you have to study Tarot. Perhaps with this point I am simply projecting, but I’m pretty confident in saying that if you don’t live the spiritual lifestyle for an appropriate duration of time, you won’t understand it or any aspect of this paradigm as it has been conveyed through the grimoires and through the rambly-ass improvised pseudo-grimoire that has been put here. I did the work, I will do more of the work, and I still do the work in varying capacities, at least enough to sustain the essentials. I don’t give a fuck about the dabbling jackass fuck-faces who can’t be bothered, I’ll tell it like it is. Choices are made, and development occurs under the right conditions. Some of those conditions are immensely difficult if not impossible to achieve under so-called “normal” conditions. Perhaps I am just projecting my preferences and experiences onto others out of some sense of already did a bunch of stuff bias, but at least in some cases, no, this shit is fucking difficult and if you don’t do the work you don’t get the results. Freedom, Sex, Money, Power, Success, I do the work, I take the actions, and mine are the fruits of the harvest which I reap from the seeds which I sow and the growth which I cultivate. It is all my fault, and I am so blessed to have these attained powers.

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I can see your darkness. No it’s ok, you don’t have to show me.

I suppose these are the choices that we make - to remain stuck forever in an endless hell-loop of our own creation, or to cross over to the other side. Maybe your hell-loop is pretty chill. Maybe it’s not.

I must say, though, that I find it rather satisfying to feel the visceral reaction the animal has to my green chakra energy. It’s almost like I feel some bones shifting into place, which obviously doesn’t make sense, but maybe it shivered really intensely or something. It does seem to notice and learn that there is something happening and to expect it to happen again. It seemed like it was relaxed when I intended to relieve pain. This has truly been one of the most tremendous displays of magick power that I have seen made manifest.

Gaslighting - Wikipedia wow dude, this technique has a wikipedia page, my system was for the most part I assume previously classified.

“I’m going to the store.”
“Going to the store?”
“What I didn’t say that.”
“You literally just said that.”

Very effective. You do realize that I recall everything that happens during the day, and then the memories of my dreams after that?

I suppose some hell-loops age like a can of food with a hole poked in it, stashed away in the cupboards, out of sight and in a sensation-filled kitchen environment. Seemed fine when you got it, but one day you’ll have to look at that moldy stuff on it and it’ll probably smell funny. Hopefully you notice that before feeding it to your plant. Does this analogy make sense? Do yah swoosh your T’s and A your O’s?

Which side are you on?

I don’t know about you all, but I’m picking up some vibes. Most people don’t, but I suppose I’m not around most people. I prefer it this way; it is who I am. Always holding the strings, yet almost never holding the strings. It is nice to know that I do not have to perform to create suitable conditions for remaining in one’s presence.

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Here is an expansion to the energy work (chakras, fountain of light) technique I’ve discussed previously.

After visualizing the bolts of white light piercing each chakra, and then visualizing the pinpoints of light and energy that are there after this, you go through each point again and visualize the re-formation of the chakras while continuing to circulate energy.

Using the root chakra as an example, you visualize the pinpoint of light at the appropriate location and feel the tactile bodily sensations of the energy at that location. See the points of light as empty but maintaining form. On an in-breath, visualize red-colored energy arising from within the emptiness of the form, and on an out-breath, visualize the chakra forming out from this point of light, becoming a whirling sphere, pulsing and emitting red light. On an in-breath, feel the chakra and the energy in and around the chakra, and on an out-breath feel the energy circulate through and around your body, up out the crown of your head and back down around up through into your body through the root chakra.

Do this for each chakra. How many breaths you spend on each chakra is up to you. I imagine one is sufficient.

I’m considering doing this and then following it with raising energy up through the back body, down the front body, into the lower energy storage center. I’m not entirely sure what this will do. For complete thoroughness, preliminary stimulation of the various extremities and mapping out of energy pathways could also be done. I set aside time to do this back in the day, on top of a rather busy schedule, getting in sessions when I had some idle moments, and I still feel the results of doing this, so perhaps this will be worthwhile, and perhaps there is even a reason I feel drawn to doing this during what seems to be a preliminary echo of the 2nd Soyga table, oriented around Loagaeth tables.

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