I guess what started me on my Journey happened when I was 9 years old. Me and my brother slept in a bunk bed. I was sleeping on the bottom bunk of the bunk bed. I had this dream where I was in a dense Jungle and I noticed this snake tail dangling from a tree branch. I looked up and noticed this big snake on the branch. It scared me and as I backed away, I tripped on a Tree Root and fell backwards. The snake fell out of the tree and landed on my chest looking me straight in the face. I screamed and woke up and the snake was still on my chest.
I slapped it with my right hand and felt it slither off of me and went down the side of the bed nearest the wall. I was screaming for my mom and dad and they came running in there and asked what was wrong. I told them, “There’s a snake under my bed!”
They looked and there was nothing. My dad said I hallucinated it from a bad dream.
Later, in the morning, my dad asked what it looked like, and i said it was short and fat and had certain colorings on it. Later that night, my dad came in and said that it was impossible for such a snake to even exist in Texas, i was describing a pit viper which are not native in Texas.
For years this bothered me, how the hell did I pull a snake out of my dream? I finally came up with a test to see if i could reproduce the experience. I was curious if I could consciously dream while maintaining a little wakefulness. So I used a lit candle as a meditational aid.
I would stare at it for awhile, then close my eyes and try to visualize it to perfection. Took me about a month of steady everyday practice before i could hold the image for a couple of seconds before it dissipated.
My next stage was to do the same visualizing in a very dark room without the aid of the lit candle with my eyes open. Took me another month of steady practice before i was able to stabilize the image for a few seconds, but i eventually saw it. And what got my attention the most was that the light from the candle was illuminating the rest of the room.
As soon as I recognized what was happening, i was like Holy Shit, WTF, that’s impossible. It was a just a second of realizing this, what I now call doubt, but as soon as i doubted it, it disappeared.
I was blown the fuck away. I knew right then and there how Jesus fed the 5000, he did the same thing i was doing, but he was probably a little more advanced and was able to use the already provided 2 fish and 2 loaves as a meditational aid and his imagination like a lucid dream to control the multiplying of the food. And he was doing it during the day. Which was my next stage of practice that i wanted to do, but never got around to it.
I mean, visualizing picture perfection in broad daylight? Imagine all the distractions, and doubt that he had to bypass in order to accomplish this.
It was then that I came up with my definition of what Faith really was. Not the fucked up Christian interpretation which is based on Hebrews 11:1 and often confused with Belief.
No, Faith what Jesus was teaching is entirely different than what the Christians enforce. (I was born in a Christian family, so the only source of information i had on Magick was Jesus. The teachings on Faith, albeit very few passages that Jesus mentions is all i had to go on.) I am no longer a Christian, and I believe that Jesus was a Sorcerer like Solomon.
Matthew 17:20-21
Faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain move from here to there and they will be done, nothing will be impossible for you.
This has completely nothing to do with the current interpretation of Faith enforced by the church based on Hebrews 11:1.
No, Faith is a concentration of mind that has to be generated and tested and be void of distraction, doubt, fear, and temptation.
This is what my practice concluded.
Even to this day, within 30 minutes i can visualize fire and see it blazing in dark rooms. I need to start practicing in dimly lit rooms, then finally in broad daylight. I want to manifest fire out of my hands for protection against witch hunters. If I can manifest fire, i can manifest lightening. “Return of Thor, fuck yeah!!!”
I also remember hearing E.A.Koetting referencing evocation for evoking things out of thin air. I haven’t finished watching the Evocation Course, but I am curious if our practices are similar?