A brain dump for this insane King and his crooked court.
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The sea is boiling and I forgot my fucking boat. Gods, how much of a fool I was to try and trust those fucking wax and feather wings. Dont fly too close to the sun? I am the fucking sun. Sabotaging my every step. I’m lighting the candle at both ends and wondering how the fuck I got burned. How did it get so far? When? Was I always such a fool? Fuck it. Open the lions cages, I’m taking a dive in the pit. If I’m torn to shreds, so be it, but how ever it plays out is the way it was meant to be.
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The winds howl around this ramshackle palace I call my mind… Or are those my own screams? I can’t tell anymore. Heard it for too damn long. Either way its making me dive deeper into the deep end of insanity.
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The ship is afloat, but someone stabbed the helmsman.
Grab your floaties kids, its gonna be wet.
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Just wanna say you are Strong and I believe in YOU 
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Thank you 
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Well that was a fun little episode.
Lucifer keeps trying to get my attention, so tonight as I drift to sleep, I travel to her, wherever that may be.
So much magick was done today on three hours of sleep… Eh… Gotta try to rest more
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Couldn’t even muster the strength to get through the last page of my litany. It felt like my brain was frying and I was floating between conscious and unconscious. Decided to hold off on my personal Kunda yoga. This is probably going to hinder me but fuck it.
Lots of magickal workings to do today as well. At least I got more sleep tonight. Feel bad for falling asleep on @QueenOfHearts lol… Oh well. We press forward.
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Why on earth is visualizations becoming harder… I swear something is breaking my senses… At least my sight…
It all used to be so clear… I’m lucky if I get a flash now… Fuuuuuuuck…
Need to figure this out… It is hindering everything…
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Overloaded my third eye, so I’ve been taking some rest. Began dreaming again… First time in over a year… A good sign to me.
The energies are being processed.
Lucifer has requested I work with her on Friday, so that shall be the day I return to practice.
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Spoke to Lucifer. He set my body ablaze to help me grow from my ashes… It didnt burn… But it felt as though a boulder was dropped on my chest. Ask him to remove my baptism, and I felt pressure and then lightness in my head. Much work to be dome with him ahead.
He came to say hello:
The smoke keeps swirling, and the candle flickers on and off without breeze…
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Outstanding word play there. Bravo.
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Why thank you
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After having a bit of a fit at Lucifer, both of us trading cusses and him trying to get my head out of my ass, I re evoked him last night to apologize and get on with my work with him.
He kept urging me to move passed this. He says that both him and I know I am no longer mortal, and to stop the game.
After we spoke about all we needed to he urged me to speak to his brother (Belial) as I had work with him.
Contacting Belial, he says he wishes to help me, as he is selfish and in being selfish he wishes to help me keep something for myself. I told him he had my permission to do whatever he needed, and he happily agreed for some of my whiskey.
When I took a sip, he urged I take more for him, so I obliged begrudgingly with a chuckle.
We’ll see how things go… Beginning regular practice once again today.
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I’m going to eat the sun. But even that won’t be enough. Energies don’t harm me anymore. I filter them and absorb them through my aura. And I hunger for more… All of existence couldn’t satisfy this beast’s hunger
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You got talent bro. May Lucifer guide you
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Thank you ever so kindly.
Dont bite the hand that feeds. Especially if said hand belongs to me, because it’ll bite right the fuck back.
Weird evocation of Lucifer today.
Senses still suck but we march on.
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As green keeps showing up in readings I figured out what lucifer did. Not without help of course.
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Failure. We’ve all experienced it. But this time I’m not mad. Not upset. I’m glad. I’ve finally realized whats holding me back. Its me.
Tonight practice begins anew. Two evocations must be undertaken and my fundamental rites.
When i recieve the nocturnicon, those practices shall be added.
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