9.05.22
Alright, we’ve done it. Oh Veil, you big idiot. For so long you were doing exactly what you feared to do, and using the Law as a stick to beat yourself with.
Either you are subject to reality, or reality is subject to you.
I pick the latter, every time. It’s just a matter of putting it in motion.
The absolute audacity
For real. The absolute audacity of someone coming into your life with the only goal of making your life better.
Making me take care of myself more. Making me eat more than one meal a day and get a proper amount of sleep.
Smh. The absolute AUDACITY.
Honestly how dare people get close to me. As close as Metatron: as close as my own beating heart. How dare people get under my skin like that. How dare people want the best for me, do good things for me, do workings for me, do readings for me, shore me up, hold me accountable, comfort me, be there for me, even when they have their own things going on in their own lives.
Apparently I am intimidating. I’d like to swear I am not, but that’s a promise I can’t keep. I hold my dear friends close to my heart. I respect many practitioners from afar (perhaps I should speak out more about that, more frequently, in a more timely manner).
But ultimately, who keeps me grounded and sane?
Today I realised I have been wasting so much time being caught up in the web of “reality” that I have been paying no attention to praxis.
Nope, not today though. Today is, was, will be a good day.
Damn, Veil, if you’re gonna come and sulk and whine in your journal, at least have something to sulk and whine about. Don’t let it be self-inflicted. Done with others’ advice for me
Alright. Let’s see then. I come here often and post Biblical quotes with no context. Yet I’m always thinking to myself how people downplay the Bible as the esoteric text that it is. Idk, can’t relate. Baptised but brought up in an essentially agnostic household in an essentially agnostic country.
So, let us begin with mental diet.
For those who missed or cbf reading my prior posts, or have no knowledge of the Law, your mental diet = the thoughts that you consciously think, day in and day out. The thoughts that your subconscious feeds to you and brings to the fore in moments of mental idleness. Can you change that? Absolutely. You simply must be vigilant, and recognise when you are thinking something that does not serve your purpose. And then you must change your thoughts to something which does serve you. If you can summon the feeling of gratitude and smugness and happiness that goes with that thought, good. If you cannot, do not worry. Simply cling to that thought and repeat it to yourself whenever you think of anything bad, or anything that negates it. With practice, it takes under a week to reprogram your brain to accept whatever your chosen thought it. In moments of idleness then, your subconscious will feed that thought back to you. A good thought? Or a bad thought? You decide. Is it worth one week’s worth of effort? Or perhaps two?
You decide.
No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is from Me, Says the LORD.
Every tongue (i.e., any conscious thought which does not serve you) that rises against you, you will condemn. You will cast it out, cast it away, for it does not serve you. Do not deign to speak it aloud, do not even deign to think it. It is beneath you. Notice your thoughts. Be conscious of your thoughts. If a thought does not serve you, cast it away.
It is not for us to contemplate how, why, when, or where our wishes will be made manifest. Put all of that aside.
Yes, it gets easier with practice.
I already mentioned it, but in most cases, when the Bible refers to woman or she or her or the wife, it is not speaking of material Woman. It is speaking of the subconscious mind, and those who recognise its power.
Whoever loves her, loves life, those who seek her early will be filled with joy.
Whoever possesses her will inherit honour, and wherever he walks, the Lord will bless him.
Those who serve her minister to the Holy One, and the Lord loves those who love her.
Do you understand? It is not to outside sources you should look, but only within yourself. “The Lord loves those who love her”, or in other words – the All, the Universe, rewards those who rejoice in the power of their own subconscious mind.
[…] Though she takes him at first through winding ways, bringing fear and faintness on him, trying him out with her discipline till she can trust him, and testing him with her ordeals,
She then comes back to him on the straight road, makes him happy and reveals her secrets to him.
Yes, I’ve been absolutely fucked by losing faith in the past. But really that experience only taught me to double down on my belief. I, you – we are the one true power.
Do not try to understand things that are too difficult for you, or try to discover what is beyond your powers.
Concentrate on what has been assigned you, you have no need to worry over mysteries.
Do not meddle with matters that are beyond you; what you have been taught already exceeds the scope of the human mind.
The above quote is Goddard in a nutshell. “God does not ask you to consider the means, but to define the end”. In simple terms – stop worrying about how, when, why, or when your desires will come to pass. Ideally, you should think of your desires and feel only smugness or gratitude or happiness that everything worked out so well for you. It does not matter whether your desired result has been made manifest in perceptual reality yet. So, if you are struggling with this concept, start small and build your way up.
Maybe it’s easier for me, being raised in an agnostic household in a largely agnostic country* amongst agnostic or atheistic peers. I don’t have the same kind of inbuilt hatred or love for the Bible as many seem to do. Again, as I am sure I have said before, I see it as an esoteric text – if one is capable of reading between the lines.
Annoying that I know all these basic principles, but I have not been putting them into practice. So, no more. I change now.
I won’t continue to recount my quotes from the Book of Sirach, but hopefully you get my point.
I have spoken with Raphael a handful of times recently. Evoking him outside is very interesting. By which I mean… he is massive, enormous. Absolutely enormous. He dominates the sky. I like Raphael very much.
Haniel as well. I know what the books say, but meh. Haniel is there whenever there is some excess of emotion that must be gently siphoned away. Haniel is a beautiful and benevolent spirit. Raphael is the most talented surgeon you have ever met, and has a cheerful and cheeky bedside manner.
I will work with them both ongoing, and with Melahel again.
Again I say:
God does not ask you to consider the means, but to define the end.
All my love,
V
Leviathan, Metatron, Haniel, come and soothe me.
Thanks big guy. Ave Leviathan.
She went to the ER and the doctors found… nothing. No blood clots, no tumours, no broken bones, not so much as a single bit of swelling or inflammation – even though she has been coughing and hacking her lungs up for about eight weeks now. They sent her home and told her to keep taking OTC painkillers.
Not a car person, me. Nor do I want to pay for parts and labour to replace a speaker.
oops
Well, 95% done. Am happy with myself though. Had to crack out the thesaurus for that one.
– thankfully my brain was kind enough to make me speak in a quiet tone and run my words together through my laughter, so I’m hoping that didn’t come off quite as retarded as it actually was. 
