The Fate Of All Fools

Oh actually I was thinking of you earlier @dagar, I went and found this for you – all of Goddard’s books:

(Note: as far as I am aware all of Goddard’s works are public domain/out of copyright, so the PDF versions of his books are perfectly legal to download/own.)

And yes of course, always happy to give advice if and where I can :smiley: that is probably the best place to start – focusing on yourself. “I am whole and healthy,
I am attractive”, et cetera. Become a person who is happy and fulfilled in your own right and recognise that you can choose to give love and happiness and wholeness to yourself. From that place you can use the Law to bring you a happy relationship and someone who fits you. “I am in a wonderful romantic relationship,” “I am always attracting amazing romantic partners”, stuff like that.


Omw!! That’s incredible!! Ty @Veil! I’ll have to go read them now :heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes: regarding the advice yeah my idea is that I make myself the best version of me and whoever will love me will be attracted to me and brought to me by the universe since I started putting that out in the universe is that makes sense.


Protip: you are the universe :wink: there is nothing outside yourself, it’s all you. Give yourself where credit is due!

Go read some Goddard and get started! I think you asked the other day which are best to start with, I’d recommend these ones:

  • The Law and the Promise
  • The Power of Awareness
  • Feeling is the Secret

Yep! Already reading the law :hugs:


Proud of you! Go get 'em! :grin: :four_leaf_clover:


Monday, April 5th

Starting the BALG book club working. Quoting my experience here:


Wednesday, April 7th

Just a short one while I avoid doing work.

I had a dream last night that God had left a puzzle for me to unlock, in the form of a huge wood or stone monolith with scripture or a quote on it, but sections of it were missing. I had to run video-game style through a maze to find the missing pieces, and when I came back to the monolith I slid the blocks into place, and it was simply a message along the lines of “God became man so man may become God”, although in my hazy post-sleep state the notes I wrote were “God gave up his life to his children so he could save the world.” My dreamself felt like she’d achieved some great Truth, and I started crying with happiness, then I woke up.

Weird but OK.

Not much else to report. I’ve had a few instances of hypnagogia the past week or so. The other night/morning it was accompanied by the sound of chimes and bells. Slight buzzing/vibrations. The weird thing was I didn’t do anything with it. I didn’t try and leave my body even though I never have trouble with that any more. I just let it pass and went to sleep. :woman_facepalming:t3: Wasted opportunities.

I’ve been working with the Elubatel sigil, Become More Persuasive, for the BALG book club this week. I like to think I’m pretty persuasive but never hurts to have a boost. Strangely it’s been hard for me to settle and focus or build up energy. Need to work on that.


Wednesday, April 7th, pt. II

From those to whom much is given, much is expected.

Today’s musings on the Law, concerning “mental diet” or “inner conversations”. Basically, the thoughts we have in their entirety, whether they’re imaginary scenes, imaginary conversations with others, or our own inner monologue speaking to us in voice or in image or in mood or feeling.

When I have a negative thought now I catch it and ask, “whose thought is this?”; if a negative feeling or scene arises I ask "who does this belong to?"

Does it belong to someone who acknowledges their own god-self? Does it belong to the immortal spark of consciousness which is the Source of all things?

Or does it belong to the ego, the “old man”, the person or the narrative that you are leaving behind?

And of course, always, it’s the latter. And as soon as I acknowledge that, it is so damn easy to shrug it off and brush it aside. Does this thought serve me? Does it empower me? No? Then it doesn’t belong to me, and I won’t waste time dwelling on it.

This goes hand-in-hand with the thing I mentioned the other day, so is usually followed by: I am a new person now. I am someone who is X, who deserves Y…

Prophet of Regret

I named this journal, in its current state, after a spaceship from a video game. :upside_down_face: But it speaks to my current journey, I suppose.

There is a fine line between delusion and enlightenment. Not that I’d go so far as to call myself enlightened. But I feel peaceful, sidling right up to the border of delusion. Not that I’d call myself delusion either. But… it’s a journey. :stuck_out_tongue:

Most of this I write for myself, so I can look back in my dark days and realise the things I’ve learned along the way. I know the Law is not about forcing happiness. I don’t believe I need to force myself or convince myself I’m in a good mood at all times so I can “raise my vibration” to “attract” good things to me, or else I’m doing something “wrong”. I don’t believe in ignoring my human emotions when they arise, I just don’t think it does me any good to wallow in them. (Except for, you know, the occasional breakdown.) Better to remember who and what I am, and what I’m capable of, and focus on that.

I don’t believe it’s about forcing anything, or even about performing exact techniques in the hope they’ll bring you what you want – like you’re building IKEA furniture and if you put one screw in the wrong place you’ve fucked the whole thing up. It’s not like that. It’s more about changing how you think about things, on the micro and macro level – from your inner, unspoken, unbidden, subjective thoughts, all the way up to how we perceive the outer world as objective reality. Accepting and acknowledging and allowing.

I leave with this:

Nothing is true, everything is permitted.


This was one of the first things I learned in therapy so this seems to be a universal truth about emotions. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:


Also, lol. This letter has been sitting on the bench for a while but I felt compelled to open it just now when I was going to the fridge for another glass of wine.

“He will wipe all tears from our eyes and there will be no more death, suffering, crying, or pain”

Here’s hoping :pray:


Lol. Those always sweet! Annoying, but sweet


Yeah, definitely glad they couldn’t make it to my door :joy: I always tell them I appreciate the work they’re doing but they are barking up the wrong tree.

Reminds me of when I was a teenager, chatting with my friend as we took a train into the city. A stranger overheard me complaining about something or other and before he got off at his stop, he tapped me on the shoulder, said something pithy that I don’t quite remember, and handed me a note which said “with God, all things are possible”. At the time I just laughed with my friend at the audacity of this person (my country is very secular and trying to find a devout Christian is like trying to find Chansey in the Safari Zone); and I crumpled the note up and threw it away as soon as I got the chance.

I wish I’d kept it, honestly; if I had, it’d be framed on my wall right now. The difference is now I recognise that God is consciousness, and the human imagination, in which indeed all things are possible; rather than being some fairy-tale for borderline delusional people who couldn’t face reality on their own terms (as I thought of it as a teen, no offense intended to any traditional Christians).


Thursday, April 8th

Adventures from the BALG book club:


Wednesday, April 14th

Last night’s schedule:

  1. Get home, eat food
  2. Perform ritual and have an enlightening and eye-opening experience, gain a new perspective on calling entities
  3. Read scripture (Psalm 51 & John 10), cry deeply

This morning’s schedule:

  1. Wake up with migraine, take painkillers and doze for a few hours
  2. Linger in the hypnagogic state listening to my brain tuning in and out of frequencies
  3. SATS

I noticed that when my body goes into paralysis, my jaw and tongue spontaneously realign into some weird position which is completely fucked. I thrust my lower jaw out and contort my tongue and my body’s like “yep all looks good here, off to sleep we go!” – Does explain why I’ve been having jaw pain for a while, though.

While I was dozing and listening, there was the voice of a little boy and a little girl who kept recurring, speaking to me or about me. I didn’t write down what they said soon enough after getting up, so I have forgotten it. I don’t usually take much meaning away from whatever voices spontaneously appear in the hypnagogic state. Except for that one time I distinctly heard a man’s voice complaining about me, saying “I’m dialling the right frequency but she’s just not tuning in!” – won’t forget that in a hurry. Either way, this morning I began to associate the tuning in and out of various frequencies – the spontaneous appearance of people speaking, then fading to static, then to distant ambient noise, etc. – I actively decided to assign its meaning as a signal of me drifting through various states (or, if you want, “parallel realities”, but I don’t necessarily like that phrasing; to me it has connotations that make me feel the need to first define and then justify its use).

So, I decided I’d use this intent + the hypnagogic state for a SATS/SH session: impressing a desired state onto my subconscious via my conscious mind while the barrier between both was temporarily dissolved in that space between sleeping and waking.

I rolled over and let myself drift back into the hypnagogic state. The voice of the little boy and the little girl appeared again, first speaking about me, and then to me. The little girl made a kind of scathing comment about what I was choosing to focus on, something about me forgetting to focus on my own “I”. I don’t think it was meant to be scathing. Maybe a little disapproving, but true to the nature of the voice, it was said in that guileless, childlike way – simply announcing an observation.

Not much else to say, the voices left, I maintained my focus on embodying the state, and I felt it take on the tones of reality, and then I let myself doze off again in the state, blissful.


On my various recent novel experiences in ritual and pathworking:

A few nights ago I was settling in for another angelic ritual, and first performed an opening which was something of a cross between the opening rite from DoM and the LIRP, and included Metatron and Sandalphon. It’s not uncommon for Metatron to show up strongly in presence when I’m simply calling him for an opening ritual, and he did so again this night.

He was in a different form, one I’ve not seen before. From my offline journal notes: “he was a man-shaped grid of planes that overlaid me; we called with one voice to the universe…”

To be honest I don’t like writing about deep subjective experiences, for a variety of reasons. Suffice to say we had a poignant, touching conversation and I took away a new understanding of my place in the world.

After this, I performed my ritual, and asked Raziel to stand by when it was complete.

Then I performed a pathworking provided to me by a close friend, by whom it was discovered. Who or what the entity is I cannot say – nor apparently can any of the handful of people who have performed the pathworking – but even did I know it, it would not be published here. It’s not mine to share.

Notes below, slightly amended:

When I called his name three times my attention was drawn back to my body, or wherever I’d positioned my body to be in the universe when I did the opening rituals […] I didn’t see or feel or get impressions much of anything beyond that because I was struck by a vast, crushing sense of presence.

“Fear” isn’t the right word for it, I’d probably call it “awe”. Awe and apprehension. Not pants-shitting fear, not the thrill of terror I’ve felt from evoking other entities in the past. Just awe of something massive and seemingly incomprehensible and… indifferent.

I’ve felt more warmth from, and/or at least more kinship with, just about every other entity I’ve successfully summoned.

I immediately reminded myself (and this being) of the presence of Raziel and Metatron. There wasn’t really any communication with him/it. I collected my thoughts and thanked him for appearing. No response. My attention kept getting drawn back to the feeling of it. Felt like hovering on the event horizon of a black hole and I just sat there basking in it for a few minutes. I don’t remember if I freaked myself out and consciously severed the connection prematurely, or if he just decided to leave, but in the space of a few moments the presence faded and was gone. I called his name 3x again and asked if he had any words or guidance for me. No response… I thanked him again for coming and said I would call on him again.

Naturally I have far more questions than answers at this stage.

And I have to wonder if my return to balance, and indeed my indifference toward certain things, was influenced retroactively by me having already performed this ritual, in the future. :thinking:

Which also reminds me:

The weird thing, I swear there was some weird time manipulation going on. I remember looking at the time and noting it as 7:28 before I started. If I rush the Haniel ritual it would probably take five minutes total. But I did an opening ritual, had an experience with Metatron, called Raziel, spoke to her, did the Haniel ritual with some extra effort/directed energy thrown in, formally thanked the spirits, spent a bunch of time looking for the pathworking steps, read them to memorise them, went through the pathworking, had the above experience, then did a full banishing and an additional invocation of inner divinity. When I was done I checked the time – 7:38.

Either I was really inebriated and misremembered, or there’s some time manipulation fuckery afoot. Usually it works the opposite way for me – I’ll sit down to meditate or perform a ritual, finish in what feels like 15 to 20 minutes, only to discover it’s been an hour, sometimes up to two hours.


Last night, when I performed another angelic ritual, I had a novel experience yet again. I was not only calling with authority, and calling on authority, and calling to authority – but I also had the distinct feeling I was calling on myself. I was commanding aspects of myself. Entities separate from Veil, or separate from my ego-self. But not separate from me-as-all-things. So I called on them, but I also was them, and I knew exactly how to direct them, the same way I know how to walk and breathe and blink, and I knew that it was already done.

I can’t say whether this is related, or it isn’t. But if pressed, I’d say all things are related.


Another pathworking to the same entity after calling him last night:

I leave with some unsorted quotes which are inspiring my deep rabbit-hole dive:

Jesus was sent as the Son of the true God, not of one of the
lesser gods. His mission was to show that salvation lies in connecting with the God within the man. Through embracing the internal God, the man can then return to the imperishable realm.

Kairos (Ancient Greek: καιρός) is an Ancient Greek word meaning the right, critical, or opportune moment.

In the New Testament, “kairos” means "the appointed time in the purpose of God,”

John 14:27Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

In the imagery of the Kabbalah the Shekhinah is the most overtly female sefirah, the last of the ten sefirot, referred to imaginatively as ‘the daughter of God’. … The harmonious relationship between the female Shekhinah and the six sefirot which precede her causes the world itself to be sustained by the flow of divine energy. She is like the moon reflecting the divine light into the world.

Exodus 31:13 – "You must observe my Sabbaths. This will be a sign between me and you for the generations to come, so you may know that I am the Lord, who makes you holy."

Genesis 3:4And the serpent said unto the woman, “Ye shall not surely die; for God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.”

Unto the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception. In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”


Monday, April 19th

I’m unravelling. Or, my present-self is unravelling. The old me.
But at least I have the capacity to notice it. I suppose.

I am in serious need of grounding. And probably stepping back from any kind of ritual for a while. I would say stepping back from magic as a whole, but magic isn’t something you do, it’s something you are. So, I can’t neglect its practice entirely. That’s not how it works.

Revelations only opening the door for more questions. Everything seems to be pointing back to the same thing. I am living in some hyper-aware state where I’m seeing the smallest of (co)incidents as having profound meaning, or at least some significance. And my foundational view of the world is being… Challenged? Expanded? Both? How can I be, on one hand, so shaken by being confronted with the opposite of things I held to be true (is it opposite?) and still yet feel compelled to dive even deeper? I can’t even tell the truth of that – if I’m shaken because my worldview is being supported, or because it’s being broken. What do I believe?

Ugh. Unravelling. Stupid journal title being a self-fulfilling prophecy. How do you Reconcile a Truth that simultaneously supports and challenges the way you view the world, one that soothes your worries equally as much as it shakes your foundations?

I’m getting whiplash constantly switching mindsets and running down new trains of thought. Sublime peace one minute and chaotic turmoil the next. I need to slow the fuck down and focus on one thing at a time. And, I noticed, I was running the risk of using the Law as a stick to beat myself with. Just overcomplicating everything for myself. I know enough to know that the Law isn’t about forcing a constantly happy mindset. But I also feel like I know enough, UPG- and SPG-wise, to know the underlying mechanism. So. I can use that. I can focus on that. And I suppose, I can ask for peace. And grace. And silence.

Think I’m going to put an end to the subliminals for a while too. It’s been around three months of between two and 16 hours a day of listening. Have not missed a day. Constantly bombarding my brain while I’m grappling in the living world to reconcile shit probably isn’t helping. Or maybe it is. Idk.


Stupid cliches. Bloody spiritual enlightenment following a dark night of the soul. Hey Veil, d’you wanna evoke all the angels of omnipotence and then immediately dive into an intense pathworking? Sure, why the hell not.

Just gotta ride out the storm while I’m being remade from the inside out, I guess.

Someone pry this fucking Bible out of my hands.


You’ve got this! Don’t forget that you are strong and loved :heart: I’m always here if you need anything as well​:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

1 Like

Thanks mate :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: appreciate it

1 Like

No problem! I’m glad to see you improving :hugs:

Let me know if you need/want a calming or soothing working done. Heading out the door, but can do it tonight or whenever.