Depends on if he had a mindset change. If he thought it was a small matter and his mindset changed then that’s professional therapist type change in 3 months which i would say is average/pretty good depending on how self reflective he is. If he already knew it was shit and just never said anything three months feels a bit long
It was a really shitty thing he did, but I literally had to remind him of what happened and tell him how much it fucked me up for him to reflect on it. He is plenty intelligent and self-aware, but doesn’t have the motivation to change how shitty his mindset/life is. Just another reason I am glad it didn’t work out.
Damn! That’s really bad. I’m sorry that happened to you but it sounds like you’re glad it happened when it did stop it could hurt less? Or am I misreading this lol?
I’m sure some of use would appreciate a sigil…
Nah I wanted him back for months after that still but eventually I realised that me wanting him back was reflective of a state of mind that I didn’t want to be in. I could choose either self-respect or I could choose to focus my energy on bringing someone back to me who treated me like garbage. Ultimately I decided I didn’t want him, and I couldn’t accept someone in my life who’d treated me so poorly. Also I asked @Keteriya for a True Black reading to see if there was any point continuing to pursue him, when I was just starting to get over him, and the answer was an unequivocal “NO. STOP.” Easy decision to make once you start to value yourself and stop looking for validation from people who treat you like trash.
Do you want:
- A sigil to connect to him, to teach him a lesson? Or,
- The Archangel Uriel and/or Angels of Wrath sigil I used to make this come about?
A man needs a name…or a sigil… I could go about getting it with your help, BUT your help (privately, preferably) signals intent. Been working on a very hard target that I know is being protected by the person giving it (inadvertently).
I’m the patient sort.
You got this you’re one of the most powerful people here i think so I believe in you man
@Keteriya s readings are always incredible! I know it’s difficult to give up on people who don’t benefit you but I like to see it as a lesson or opportunity for growth personally and that tends to help me at least❤
I appreciate it. But honestly if I was to direct any work toward him, it’d be for his own sake/his self-betterment. Also I know he suffers enough under his own brain. I just want to move on from him. He’s perfectly capable of causing his own suffering. I don’t want to harm him.
If you’re offering targeted work though, can I interest you in a love charm on another target? Kidding… kinda. I feel like I have this under control for the most part. But a lil help never goes astray.
Also was that a sneaky Game of Thrones reference?
Ooh😏 go get yo man/girl girl!!
Another GoT reference:
I am his, and he is mine, from this day until my last day.
Let’s hope it goes better than the King of Pents
Damn i can’t wait to have that kind of relationship😍
Yeah. Still working on the “relationship” part.
But as Dantalion once told me: “it is too late, it is already done.”
Maybe some day, but not right now. I suppose lighting a candle in the tower is equivalent to an email saying - Help with this…
You privately have my email. I will call the banners…regardless of the real king or supposed.
Thursday, April 1st
Today was a surprisingly good day. I emerged into wakefulness with my brain already doing its thing, immediately bringing up all the worries and forging ahead with its monkey-brained chattering. I like to set my alarm early and then lie in bed for another 20 minutes, still in that wide-open state, and use it to focus my intent.
So, last night I was thinking about Goddard’s experience being discharged from the army, and how he had a dream where he simply heard the voice of the Father:
I was repeating it in my head all last night. “That which I have done, I have done.”
Today when I woke up, I recognised and observed the mental chatter, and just asked myself a question: who do I want to be today?
And the answer was obvious.
Do I want to be the person who frets and worries and forces and pleads and
Nah. Today I am someone new. I am someone who deserves to feel peaceful. I am someone who deserves to feel happy, loved, whole, and fulfilled. Someone who is joyful and charming and admired and universally adored. Someone who is popular and always getting calls and messages from everyone I know.
Funny that last part, because today I had a coworker ask for my number (purely platonically) and we were texting all day.
It made me reflect further on things I’ve mentioned before; about the separation between self and desire, and about the wanting of things. It is not about wanting, or asking, or begging, or any of that. It’s simply about recognising the illusion of separation, and recognising the limiting beliefs we unconsciously place upon ourselves.
When there is something we want, we tend to look outside for confirmation or validation or for signs of the thing coming. It’s not about that. It’s about turning inward and recognising the self as the one who is deserving and capable of having those things happen to them.
Again, that whole question of self-concept. LOA is my primary model, but this informs the way I approach ritual as well. Do not try and change the outer world: change yourself, and the way you see yourself. It is not specific, it is general. And it is much easier than trying to impose your will on the outer world.
How do I explain the nuance? Say for instance that you want a certain type of car. First, you don’t worry about the how. Second, you don’t worry about the why. For:
Third, you would never spend even a second of time thinking about how the car feels about you having it as its owner. Does that sound dumb? Yeah, I say that to highlight its relevance in influencing other people. Don’t waste a second of time thinking “oh my boss gave me a promotion because I got so many good reviews from customers” or “oh my boss really likes me and thinks I’m a hard worker and that’s why I got a promotion”.
Fuck all of that off, it’s useless. Focus on YOU and changing who YOU are. Who are you? I AM. I AM someone who is always getting promoted. I AM someone who never worries about money. I AM someone who is extremely valuable to my company. Et cetera.
So, that’s who I am today. And that’s who I’ll choose to be tomorrow. I am someone who is loved, admired, valued, peaceful, calm, fulfilled, whole. I CHOOSE to be that. Nothing in the outer world can give that to me, only I can give it to myself. So if any thoughts occur in my mind to counter that, I just deny it. “I am someone new now. I am someone who deserves to be happy, loved, and peaceful.” (Have I spoken of this before?)
I also, last night, did a ritual with Raziel and Haniel. And it was quite different to what I’ve experienced before. My mental impression of Raziel was not as a disembodied male-seeming sphere of yellow light, but rather, a woman of human proportion, in a hooded robe panelled in purple and yellow/gold, with a design on the breast – I’m not quite sure what, maybe a seven- or nine-pointed star?
Rather than rushing through the ritual I spoke with her first, and she was accommodating as I hastily scribbled out my notes. Forgive me since I tend to personally kind of look askance at fully detailed conversations, for me, it more of a stream-of-consciousness exchange. I don’t hear spirits, as though I’m conversing with another human in the same room. Rather I get a sense of what they wish to convey, and I interpret it through my own filters. The one thing it does have in common with an everyday conversation with another human is that it happens seamlessly at its own speed, and reveals much, but often too quickly for me to grasp every fine detail or note it down.
From my notes; at one point I quoted to her, from the Bornless Rite, “For I am the one whose godhood is great,” and she smiled and said, “As are we all.” I asked then if we were created for amusement – for what purpose? Are we of the same source, her and I? And the answer was something like: For fascination… to experience the world from all angles and aspects, from the highest angel to the lowest ant. Giving me the sense that everything has consciousness, to a greater or lesser degree.
This was before I’d even finished “summoning” her properly – so after our conversation I called to her, directly in front of me – Raziel, Raziel, Raziel. It seemed she liked this acknowledgement of her true name.
And after that, I called Haniel. And rather than the form I’ve seen
him her in before, Haniel appeared as a woman, again in human proportions, robed in soft pink and surrounded by pink roses. I conversed with her briefly in wonder, and a wave of love and compassion emanated from her and washed over me, so I wept. Not for the first time when calling on Haniel.
I feel better being home, in my own temple. And I have some ritual experiments to work on, added to my list, which I’ll likely bump to the top.
There’s a Goetic demon I’d like to summon and to imbue
his her power into the little mink-familiar who guards my temple space, and to ask for protection.
There’s the owl feather I have, which I’d like to see if I can use to connect to its original owner (not knowing if it’s still living) and see if its spirit will be willing to help me, as a familiar, with other work.
There’s the below which I posted on another thread and promptly forgot about:
And, I have another sort-of group working coming up; more of a “BALG book club” endeavour than another MFWB. But I am looking forward to that.
Finally, I bought more oranges for Bune today. And while I was at the dollar store perusing candles, I wondered which kind I’d buy for her. A light green one caught my eye, and I considered it, uncertain, wondering if there were other or better colours I could use instead.
A few moments later another woman walked up to the candle section and excused herself to step in front of me. She started collecting the light green candles by the handful until her arms were full, and laughingly told me she was on a mission to buy candles for her mum. I said, “Hard to decide, right? So many flavours to choose from.”
She said, “Oh, I love a good candle. The green ones are so nice. Definitely recommend them.” She’d left only one on the shelf.
“Well, if you recommend it,” I said. And so I took the last green candle for Bune. Am not one to turn aside when someone, or something, is trying to give me a sign.
At least from my perspective you already were! Glad you realize it now tho😁.
thank you dear. If I can make someone else’s world a little brighter that’s blessing enough for me
More than a little
I lurv Raziel. She/he has been very helpful to me
How does Raziel appear to you if you don’t mind me asking?
I feel like I’ve been sleeping on her as a mentor figure. I know she’s called a lot as the gateway to other angels, and I know she’s spoken of as an excellent guide for pathworking, but I’ve never really worked that closely with her.