I had a dream last night, which was interesting.
This is what can be recalled:
There was a ritual going on in this room, that involved big candles. My high school crush was a part of the ritual, as well. A friend did his was standing next to him and a couple of other people doing the ritual. I can’t remember what it was for, but the room was full of others as well. There was a podium esque desk in front of them. After the fact, they were trying to clean up the wax residue that dropped in the wooden floor. It tracked away from the desk.
Now later, I was evidently raped. As for the events that took place to lead that point, I’m unsure as to what happened as the dream just skipped that part. I knew, however, I passed out at some point and was raped. However, I knew who did it.
After telling my mom of the events, I decided to confront my attackers in their club room. I asked them if anyone lost a phone (I knew the main attacker lost their phone/broke) and he spoke up. He said that he lost it. This is when the confrontation began. I straight up told him that I wasn’t going to press charges, (and the rest) that instead karma will find a way, and that karma kills.
It pertains to my philosophy that karma will come to those who’ve set up the stacks to their eventual downfall.
However, after that confrontation, I started facing public ridicule. I figured that by letting them off the hook that letting them live with what they did would be punishment enough…
My high school crush was among the many people who ridiculed me, although he seemed a little more sympathetic. He didn’t raise a finger to help, though.
I dunno why, but later on the group was forced to apologize and sit with me at lunch. Which to I responded, “Aw, shit.”
This was the dream.
If I had to interpret myself, it not only highlights my philosophy, but the downsides to it as well. The philosophy of not personally doing anything significant to stick it to someone who has done me wrong, can be damaging.
It also highlights my vulnerability to ridicule. It made me feel alone. I’ve recently been having issues with some rude customers within the past few days, so I guess it also has something to do with me trying to keep things professional and collected. I’m unsure. I’m not the most confrontational person in the world.
Meh.
If anyone else has the same thoughts or a different take, let me know.
