Tears, tears every time - but only when I "meet" Lucifer - Why?

I agree with it, you’re right!

I noticed He’s (His energies and behavior are) completely different than Abaddon or Belial. At least, I’ve experienced it in this way (of course, this can still change). Abaddon can be tender and understanding sometimes, but Lucifer showed me something higher in this case.
(Belial was far more dominant and and it is stagnated, not like in Abaddon’s case, when we’re talked or met.)

It was interesting, becausr very first, I feel something deeply sexual towards Lucifer, but then it changed, and sexuality dropped into the background, don’t know why.

Some kind of news:

I finished evoking Belial, and I had the pleasure to knowing more about my Godself’s past, and the connection, our history with Belial and Abaddon (it explained the pact between Them, about me there).

Only once happened within 1,5 hours when I started to cry, but it was absolutely different like in Lucifer’s case (every single time). It was because the pain of my and Belial’s decision. So it is not so surprising that it’s happened.

Now my past is clear to me, in shorts. And what I know is…I have to deal with it.

But I want to know a little more about Our lines with Lucifer. So hopefully… within 2-3 days I’ll be “smarter”. If not, I have time. I mean… We have time.


The path with you two (you and Lucifer) will be more clear the more you speak to him


I hope so. :black_heart: With every day, it getting cleaner.


Chiming back in here. I think it may be due to him stimulating the kundalini to such an extent. Repressed emotions come to the surface.

For obvious reasons sorrow is gonna be the most repressed emotion in our “gotta smile to work everyday” society


Lucifer has many different aspects to him. I have been close to him for years now and he can be very ‘Fatherly’ ,especially if you feel lost or hurt in any way.

He can destroy your enemies in the most ingenious ways :wink:

He can ignore your requests sometimes if you need to learn and see the bigger picture .

I had a similar feeling very early on, he ripped me down and rebuilt me basically. I get a feeling like I could rip down a building when I evoke him now, pure strength.

So, yes. It is ‘normal’ ( whatever that is ) you can feel this way.


He may be releasing your emotions, or helping you let go of stress from the past. I wouldn’t be afraid or worried of this feeling; whatever it is, he is helping you through. If there is anything you can think of thats been bothering you (family death, heartbreak, etc) it may be that.

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He may be releasing your emotions, or helping you let go of stress from the past.

I’m sure this can’t be the only thing what happens when He is with me. It is one hundred percent. I feel that is is way more deeper than simply “releasing my emotions”.

Still not negative. But it is something else, without any doubt. I start experiencing that my abilities and senses are became better, and things are changing inside me as well. I’ll answer @anon11597934 a bit later, and I’ll write about what we’re talked about last night (it was one of my problems what I know already, but it is not enough), because He visited me again. Honestly, We speak and meet every second or third days. So I totally can feel His care and love, and He often appears in my Dreams.

he is helping you through

I’m sure He do. I can feel it, but my problems are mure complex than simple “emotions” or anything else. And some of them I knew about, already.

family death, heartbreak, etc

Nothing like those.


I’ll be honest, I feel no sorrow, at all. Why should I feel? If you live consciously and understand the world around you and even yourself, you can leave it behind.

If I suffer, I deserve it.

I get my perfect job, so I can works at home, and I can solve every another problems, easily. I fought for these. And why?

Because my whole life before was nothing but terror, hatred and suffer. When I was 14 years old, I realized (after I healed up my cancer what I caused for myself) that this whole life what I lived before is a chance, and my higher self chosed this path, my present and future is exactly will reflect who am I.

I got the power and knowledge to change everything, the thirst for learning more and became more.

I met with my repressed emotions before, and I think I was successful with left my past back, but still keep in mind only the lessons from them. Anyway, in my opinion, even the emotions is our own creations, not our our environment or those living in our environment. So we can control them.


Thank you so much for your beautfiul sharing. Yes, Beloved Lucifer- I have had some experiances in my life, but WWwwwowow !! He was really outside my expectations.!!! For several Months I had been rejecting adds to try and listen to Mono-Inc. Dunno why really, the guy with the tuft maybe or just assuming it would be another “screaming growlers” annoyance which always gets reffered to me. one day, after the night i did my simple “lets get acquainted” ritual to Lucifer; just making sure the time was good for us both at least; I was washing dishes and not really listening to the music noise in the other room; tears just began jumping out of my eyes, and my heart grew bright and Hot, still not paying much attn to the music I had to go into the other room where it was playing and found Mono-Inc ad playing- and it was so obvious these feelings and the music were very included and if ever I could say a "Spirit’ was in the room with me- I knew better than I know alot of things that Lucifer was in the room saying- “Just thought you would like to get the introduction going”’. I could say alot of things, but, yeah tears, i had to rally work some moves to make sure my wife especially but no one else for the next month would see my spot of the moment torrents. I was not "allowed’ to listen to much other than Mono-inc. The emotional intensity 24-7 was almost fatiguing. I would delibrately try to listen to stuff which would kinda stall for some moments of ‘me in control’… didn’t much get a respite, it was a interesting 1 and 1/2 to be sure. i have since had Alot of what i feel is free flow between the 2 of us-- including ‘I do not have to hate myself’ my Beloved mentor Belial has been working with me on that- do not know if the 2 were working together… but i haven’t had much need to outright call on Lucifer- All Consuming is the best I can say. I have wantd to come on hear and ask if he is a “music Demon” or something, just been abit squeezed with ‘GodDamned’ other mundanity I would rather do without.
The main reason I bring up the Mono_inc link is i have to say- Either Lucifer serious inspired them, or He had tons of things, words lyrics etc engrammed insid my heart and mind which He was then able to ‘blow the Dam’ as it were, never in any wildest concept of my world did I expect to find so mcuh stuff in nearly every piece which seems to come straight from me. [good thing I did not pick up a whole lotta german while on my 3 years in the army there- I may really be a mess].
i also never really thought of Lucifer as an Emotion deity- but wow, is he ever. So music and Emotion- those are some of Lucifers toys?? So glad to know that!

i am also getting ready to open workings with Abaddon. i have been given some Ideas on the ritual- one particularly i will throw out as i kinda do not necesarily understand though i am all for it. Anyone remember John Sheridans trip tp Za ha doom in B-5 ? His jump into the abyss ? Well, one part of my ritual is I am to walk to the abyss and “fall in backwards- back first”, i even have pics in my head about the trip down; but not to be too wierd, but i am going to find out He is My Father. I thought it meant patron, but it is Father. Ever since i was about 10, and really knew next to nothing about bible god who is who- i can remember clearly where i was standing in my front yard when en i first heard whispering in my ear- “Abaddon is your Father”. which made even less sense once I first read who he was. my mom always told me ‘Jimmie Henry Staples is your father’— even though there was plenty of rumours and cloudy whispers throughout the family— it never was actually addressed until last years when my now half sister had us both take a DNA test to prove it… even though she well knew. Appearantly my mom became the Whore of Babylon- or at least the greater L A county area about 10 years before i was born and my “dad” could not care less. i read somewhere can’t remember where, many “Children of Abaddon” are born ‘illegitimate, from whoring etc. I also, even though it is supposed to be a bad thing- especially when i was a "Good christian’— just simply Loved Abaddon- deny it to myself though I might.
Belial, Lucifer Abaddon…Come to be working on finding out for sure if AbigorEligos is my “Brother”; good thing i do not discus this with my wife… she doesn’t like my doings anyway. Told her last night i am sure Abaddon is my Father- with luck it went out the other ear. But— i kinda chuckle saying i am schitzophrenic— just incase someone decides to freak.
here you were discusing you and i went off on all about me------------ sorry, my brain is kinda— in chaos mode these days.
My Religious persecution by neighbors will appear on this forum as soon as i can really deal with it coherantly.
hail Lucifer, and Hail You Dear Sister !!!


There is nothing problem with your comment, Dear @Frater_Dark_Matter . I love to reading things about BALG members. :black_heart::wine_glass:

It can be possible in my opinion. Or both of Them works with/on you with Their own way. Whatever is the truth, you’ll be okay.

but i haven’t had much need to outright call on Lucifer

I had this feeling as well (this is why I felt guilt after He came again and again, just like last day, or He’ll come today). But He can help you even when you did not know His attention what you get from Him, what is a beautiful, altruistic act. :black_heart:

i also never really thought of Lucifer as an Emotion deity- but wow, is he ever. So music and Emotion- those are some of Lucifers toys?? So glad to know that!

Yes, He is. He can be both, actually. And the perfect balance of… everything.

This is why I can’t wait the times when We’ll work Togedher again again. He can show me every single time a little more about Himself, and myself as well.

I realized that this short period of my life is about emotions, and not fight or something. Beloved Abaddon now is quiet (as always). King Belial showed up “randomly”, but always give me some good advices and tips. So I can say that I work with Lucifer most often, and I enjoy it.

Last night He apperad in my mind, I saw Him via meditation, and He teached me a new kind of practice. He did not told me too much about it, but He leaded me in the whole process, and He’ll today as well. I’m so excited, really! And it’s effect, as well.

I don’t know what can it means, working with golden energies. But He used it on me, and I had to “control” it in several ways. First He showed how should I do, and slowly let me to do it by myself, but He was behind me. Leading them through my chakra points, filled them with it, then building a pulsing aura from it.

Hm. I found it:

Lucifer is who i pull golden light from

But still don’t know what does it means.
@C.Kendall , I evoking you. :open_hands: :wine_glass:


The golden light of Lucifer is apart of the whole black alchemy with the nine Demonic Gatekeepers.

Belial guides us through this and explains that our true power is hidden dormant within our DNA.

Usurping the black light of the Qliphoth we unlock the dormant power, which is the luciferian golden light.

It evolves us beyond our clayborn power, we bask in this golden light, through the light we travel burning and purging all that is undesirable all that is weakness, limitation and stasis.

Then we entered the black sun, the core of the solar force we meet with the darkest form of Lucifer to be elevated as true dark gods.


So this is an important process. :thinking: Although, naturally, it is.
Thank you. ~


You’re welcome


@C.Kendall have you elevated to become a true god?

You just scared the crap out of me because I just finished ready this:

Before coming to this topic. I am sure @C.Kendall will drop by and add more if he wishes.


@perfect eternal possession, that was very well thought out and well written. As one that solely works with Lucifer, I find it incredibly interesting and useful. Thank you.


Welcome @13sgate. Please introduce yourself in the NEW MAGICIAN AND INTRODUCTIONS area, and tell us about yourself and any experience you may have in magick. It is a rule of this forum.

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@Nagash I suggest you also start working with Goddesses as well - for balance - instead of working with just Gods. You, yourself, are made up of male and female DNA, energy. There’s nothing wrong with learning about the Goddesses. The Gods will not think bad of you, or get mad at you, or feel you are betraying them. It is a good idea to be well-rounded on the magickal path. When you are not balanced, it can have adverse on your health - physical, mental, and otherwise.

Good luck. :slight_smile:

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I didn’t felt that I should work with Goddesses and how Lucifer teached to me - ‘Trust your intuitions’ so I do. It has a reason why I don’t feel the urge to work with one. But I understand your viewpoint and appreciate your advice. :blue_heart::pray:t4:

Now I’ve found my final Teacher and Lover and Part of my whole existence; Krishna.
Looks like I simply got no business with Goddesses.