Stumbling thru (Journal)

August 6th, 2022

I do not know about anyone else, but this last entire week has been 0/10 for me. The energy was plainly rancid, everyone including myself was angry/irritated in some way, bad things continue to happen, etc.

Unfortunately, I had planned out King Paimon evocation and instead found myself going to bed early because I couldn’t find the energy to do anything else but lay in bed. Like I said, not really my week.

Got my hands on one of those angel books and created a three-part ritual with Raziel, Kamael, Raphael, and Muriel to remove me from this stress and keep me in-check with whatever awful emotions I’ve been dealing with. Personally, I think I’m caught up in whatever everyone else is around me, but I got tired of letting it ruin me. Especially the build up of stress over time.

Ritual worked a little too well as I fell asleep on the floor immediately after, just now gathering myself up and try to finish the rest of the cleaning I was doing (and writing this). It was good to hear from Kamael again, I’ve missed him.

In addition to fancy King Paimon evocation, I read through more of The Red King to see if/how I want to go through this. I struggled with wondering if I could amass those workings into this journal, or if it would be better to separate it out into its own journal to keep everything in one place. The grimoire itself is seemingly setup in a way that allows for sequential work-through, save for maybe a few rituals that are circumstantial (hexes, etc.). If anything, it would be beneficial to have my thoughts and notes separated out somewhere, to keep this journal clutter-free.

IDK something to think about. I do find myself thumbing through it every-so often to find my grounding, taking notes and putting alterations where needed, should I choose to perform such things soon. Part of my hesitation lies with the fact it is second in a series and I feel like I am missing a lot of information. All the while, I do see this as a solitary book to work with this specific Draconic mask of Lucifer, so I shouldn’t fret about the additional details regarding Belial and Hekate.

Other ponderings and works: I find myself dreaming far more vividly recently. A good lump sum of my dreams take place in very specific areas with different “plots” (same downtown area, same city-looking area, like I have a different life elsewhere). I’m finding myself having dreams with that same level of detail, but in different spots I’ve never seen before. Unsure why, perhaps it is part of my working with a spirit I’ve been evoking. Have I been dreamwalking all this time and not know it?

Been playing with “astral vision” or whatever it is properly called. Basically, I’ve been envisioning myself walking outside of my body until I either end up somewhere not in my neighborhood or falling asleep. Not sure if that is really doing anything or if I am maldaptive daydreaming again. The goal here is to construct an astral area/altar within my space, but my body ended up wandering around.

I think that is all. I feel like I am forgetting to add a few details that are now lost because I fell asleep a little bit ago…

Anyways, have a nice night. (: