Siconyte speaks


#102

Yeah sis, I’m not reverting back to my old ways, I’m simply trying to be more tolerant, it’s not easy whenever you see some of the stupidity that I see on a daily basis. But I’m trying my best to try and give Humanity a fair shot.

Thanks to some of the people that have responded to me on this chat, I’ve been able to go shopping without throwing up from being exposed to many people’s energy, I’ve been able to master quite a few things in my life that I was having a lot of trouble with, and yes, you were there for me whenever I was at the edge, so there’s nobody on this forum, save for one or two idiots, that I don’t like.

I know you’ve always got my back, and I have yours.


#103

Whenever I wrote that, I wrote it out of love for the community that we’re both apart of, I’ll keep my opinions to myself regarding the junkie whose legs needed to be broken.


#104

How about reading, or pranyama? How about hiking or rock climbing? How about a trip up to the Rim to the lakes up there? Theres a place on the North side of Payson where you can find gemstones. Pan for gold. Go collect peyote buttons and send magical necklaces to your friends (okay, totally illegal and jk), take up wood carving. Non magical doesnt mean mind numbing. There is more to life. Youve been stagnant far too long.


#105

takes a deep breath

It’s been awhile since I went hiking , that is fun, hiking is a lot of fun.


#106

I haven’t been able to go anywhere in a long time. I work seven days a week.


#107

I know how you feel, “peace is the enemy of memory, and it seem like there past was a dream” not having time for yourself and having too much leisure time and doing nothing during said times leads to depression, you should get out, go for walks out side, like others have said go on hikes, if you would like go to your local Occult Store or Botanica to meet like minded people, get into reading or art and get a new book, see a movie, hell go get a few drinks and try to meet others, doing anything that makes you happy is good for you and i care about you and if you need to talk about it more dont be afraid to ask, and if you need help dont be afraid to reach your hand out to me

I know its a little out of your taste but give it a listen and it might help you, Music has really helped me.


#108

Yeah, you’re probably right, I have a habit of being a loner, I’ve grown to distrust people pretty bad.

Never have been much for being around people, people tend to let you down, turn on you, look for ways to hate you, and even if they do show any tiny amount of kindness, It’s only because they had a inner voice that said that they should, or they were pushed into it because their mother was sitting with them, or they felt they needed to do a good deed for the month.

I’m trying, very fucking hard, to be more social, but I feel as though it is a wasted effort. I feel like I am waiting through wasps, and trying to be friendly with the wasps, in hopes that they won’t sting me anymore.

But I am trying, I’m trying so hard to do the normal person thing.

Just not very good at it. I’m not very good at going to bars, I’m not good at being in a social group , and I’m really not good at going to a movie, mainly because I find movies to be boring, people to be vile, and I have to worry about my car being stripped in the parking lot, again, by people.

It’s not easy, it’s not easy to regain trust in humanity, especially after they’ve let me down so many times.


#109

Yes, understand you, i dont know why i still trust people. But i still believe that in everybody there is somebody good, maybe its my kindheartedness or how i was raised but dealing with people all my life i have learned that given the chance there is always good in people and god damnit i just want people to see the good i see in others, people are ass-holes and people are dicks but i think if given the chance people will be good.

yes in everybody heart there is a Rapist and a Nazi but there is also Doctor and a Humanitarian, its just about giving people the chance to show there good side.

i always try to help as many people on here as possible because i run with the philosophy that doing a good act will help others do better acts. “If somebody is missing a smile then lend them yours” thats what gives me straight, not my faith but the belief that humanity will stop this infighting and help each other.

I care about you and everybody here and nobody will stop me from talking to and helping as many people as possible, i dont care is fucking Mother Teresa reincarnated right in front of me telling me to stop, i wont, and i want to give others that same faith in each other i have and i want to help everybody, so yes i do care for you even if you dont care for your self, ill fucking drive my ass back home to AZ and slap your ass if you think nobody is here for you.

I really do love you bro and there are people here that love you as well, i really do want you to get better and im and everybody here is well here for you.

With Love and Ambition,

Florry


#110

When a wasp gets in most peoples face, they tend to swat…having been stung once.

Wasps sting for two reasons…fear and also there are asshole wasps.

I gently capture them in a container and release them.

We cannot capture stinging people, but we can find ways to avoid getting stung by putting a little distance there. That doesnt mean you have to avoid going into areas they are…but maybe take care to limit how many you subject yourself to in a single setting. You dont have to invite them in.

If you react warmly and kindly most often, you may find the wasp and typical person are disarmed.


#111

I’m working on it guys, I promise I am.


#112

Go a find a planet or two to destroy. You have a right to your emotions. I visional how I would slaughter humanity. And I release it and take the biggest, deepest breath possible.


#113

I think I’ll settle with just a bottle of rum tonight.


#114

So helpful…so mature. Destroy and hate.


#115

I did find a little bit of Peace in cutting out my old sigils.

I think I’ll have it laminated, possibly turn it into a Talisman of some sort. Already have a Talisman of Belial, but I need to make it to where it’s actually utilizing his sigil, because the one that I have right now is on Lucifer sigil, and I still need to destroy that one.


#116

You don’t know or why I feel the way I do. They are my feelings and I dont have to justify them. Its not like I am conspiring against humanity or going to suck them dry for their life force or anything for reals. I am a good person with high morals. I have a wicked sense of humor is all.


#117

I get this totally. I find great comfort and rewards in fostering sick Dogs in my spare time and helping out a Dog homeless shelter. I have no idea if you like animals, but they have Cats and Dogs looking for anyone to help them in any way who have also been abused and let down by people.

I remain socially isolated by my own choice but I currently have a Dog that was starved to skin and bones leaving me to a new home now he is 25lbs heavier and well. It is just an ideas?


#118

Well, for right now, I get by playing with my toys.


#119

wow, whatever that is, its really pretty. im glad you are happier now.


#120

Very weird, not doing magick.

I am so used to doing something everyday. From a simple communication, to a channeling, or even a possession. Typically, I would sit in my astral temple, or make improvements to it. I’ve left it in the charge of [REDACTED].

I keep on having to stop myself from doing something magickal in nature, I almost made a Witches Rope tonight from a long red cord I found. Divination, spirit communication, even deep meditation, are all off limits until this is done. The only “magick” I have done is simple grounding and “detuning” in order to make it easier to deal with people when shopping.

Personally, I do feel stronger, not having to use vampirism or energy siphoning to replenish my energy. Using my own power and not using others has shown me just how dependent I was getting on it.

Honestly, I am feeling much better, and this detox has really shed light on some things that I have needed to work on. But I will not falter or fail, I will continue this detox.

I have so much to look forward to.


#121

It’s a green laser.