I am planning on entering a master/slave dynamic with my love, and am seeking wise council, people who have experience who are willing to guide me a little.
Communication; safety; boundaries.
These 3 words should not be forgotten in any relationship dynamic, however, specially not in a submissive/dominant one. Everyone has their own personal boundaries, you two should communicate them before hand, so you know exactly where to draw the line. Communication in any relation, be it in love, friendship, etc, is key.
Safety. Just because something may be interesting doesn’t mean it should be done or accomplished in the most dangerous way. Know your physical conditions (sickness, syndromes, etc). Limits aren’t just drawn on the mental side, there are physical limits as well that can damage your health. Pay attention to these 3 things and you should be fine.
This doesn’t come from an experienced master/slave love dynamic, it comes from general experience and also by working in the health dep.
I summon thee, my lovely baby girl @Empress_Arianna, she who is mighty and wise in the ways of the D/S relationship
Why has thee summoned me, Daddy?
Is this with a person or a spirit?
And are you gonna Dom or sub?
Both of us are ready. Our personalities match our roles perfectly. I am aware of the responsibilities.
Ok so first your gonna have to remember that submission is a gift. No one is a doormat.
Second, your subs health and we’ll being should always be your number one concern.
She or he will be your responsibility.
You need to make a list of things that you are both into sexually and non sexually .
And come to agreements. She will have things she loves ex: I love spankings and will stop at nothing to get one
There will be things she or he likes and doesn’t like.
So you need to establish what is enjoyable for both of you and then things you would both be willing to try and then things that are hard limits that either you or your sub do not want to do period .
You must always respect hard limits. Or you will lose their trust. And you cant chain someone up and get freaky if they don’t trust you.
Trust is the #1 key to a successful relationship
You should always have communication. So you need make sure their are set aside times for you and your sub to discuss your relationship openly and honestly. Your sub should never fear how you will react if they speak about not liking something …
Your subs health and well being are in your hands. So you should always encourage them to stay healthy. Physically , mentally and emotionally.
That can be tricky when some subs are into things like humiliation. The key is to keep checking in with your sub. Make sure you don’t need to stop.
Also know the appropriate times for those things and not appropriate times.
Ex: I don’t mind Daddy calling his whore, slut what ever in play. But I wouldn’t like in the middle of a store.
Though all subs are different and so you should find an agreement of those things. But if your feels hurt beyond play then it has went too far. If I personally got called a nasty slut in a store I might forget myself and left the goddess come out
So the list is very important. And dont leave anything out.
Will this be online, real life, 24\7? There’s a lot to discuss
Rules are vital but make sure they actually doable for the sub. Requiring one to be naked 24/7 is great in the mind, but what about if the boss comes to dinner. Make those things clear. Your sub should never feel like she’s having to choose to disobey. It fucks with the head.
Collars are important. Your sub should one for play and one for everyday. The one play can be what ever you wish but the one for public and vanilla things generally looks like a necklace with maybe a small lock or something on it.
You treat a collar more serious than a wedding band. This relationship goes above and beyond a marriage.
Safewords are very important…you need chose something other than stop as most subs will say stop when they don’t really mean it. You can choose something like pineapple or whatever. I however like the traffic light method of red for stop, yellow I want to slow down its becoming overwhelming but I don’t want to stop, and green its all go.
You should ever so offer check in with your sub to see that she’s ok. If your sub hits subspace it will be up to you to stop the scene .because a sub in subspace will not.
Your sub is always your responsibility especially in play.
Also reach agreements on how much control they are will to give. So only want it in the bedroom. Some want to be controlled more… Rules, ECT
And some want total power exchange.
Some want to be controlled right down to their Dom choosing their clothes and when to go to the bathroom. You will have to find what works best for you.
If both parties work and have outside lives 24/7 total power exchange might not be doable or practical.
So communication and trust are a must.
After a scene. It is vital to remeber after care. Plenty of hugs , kisses, if shes a little cookies and milk… Always soothe the bruises and sores … Nice message lotion is great.
Kissthe sub and tell them how good they were and how proud of them you are. Make them feel super special.
Thats the time to get really sappy and loving because they need to be held and made to feel safe and that they are everything to you.
Hey I can help two with some guidance. I love this kind of stuff.
Oh I want to feed off of this. Self care for her alone is super important too.
I when I can get pedicures. They are my self care got too. I haven’t been doing self care with all that is going on I feel it.
Also spend time with your sub outside of the kinky stuff… Watch a movie together, if shes a Baby girl or little watch cartoons with her. Go for walks, find enjoyable stuff to do outside of the whips and chains.
If she’s a little she will need alot of time and attention
I just went awww
@DarkestKnight is the bestest Daddy dom ever !!
We were together for over a year had a small split and now back to being us
We live in separate homes. Im not taking this lightly. I am going to be respectful of all boundaries and am aware of the importance of communication. We dont live together, but I want to do maybe 45% power exchange.
What’s her personality like? Oh this will be fun for you two too.
For example this is me.
I’ve taken that test. I will ask her to take it. I can’t thank you enough. I will definitely have some questions to come back with.
Cool so just have that communication and find the ground that works best. I will take some tweaking to get it just right but if you work at it it will come together.