Thanks everyone, i didnt want to anger up anyone,
Thanks for motivational speeches, but please if you may, advice me directly on my life situation since it is that which causes me depression and suicidal thoughts,
- mental health drugs are forced onto me,
- i’ve lost all my precious items including journals, things valuable to my heart, esoteric items
- i cant find friends neither love,
- due to that drugs i cant progress further in spiritual practies since they mess up biochemical balance of my brain
- there is a spirit tormenting me for years that i cant banish
- i dont have support from my family except for basic financial one
You say I am only 27 and I can still find love, but honestly best age to find GF / BF is the age of 17-18. I want to experience teenage love and have my items brought back to me by divine force sorry
Magic should have no limits
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I don’t know what drugs er medications you’re on but for me they were crap and destroyed me. From experience of 20 year on them I got OFF of them. That helped me tremendously but each person is different and sometimes doctors, family, psycholoigsts, psychiatrists are dicks and try to put you on other prescriptions. I told my psychiatrist I was going to do meditation. She scoffed at me so I gave her the bird and walked out and never went back.
Stuff, is stuff. Yeah, its nice to have. yeah, you’ll reminisce about the past and shit. Its gone and its there. I lost a lot of stuff through sacrifice and circumstance and it seems I always get other stuff or it comes back in a way. Sometimes I have to work at it. In the end, its stuff and it doesn’t bring me a lot of joy but is more of a … oh… way to distract me.
Love, yeah, physical touching, playing, loving, etc is nice. There are things a living person can give but there are sacrifices as well. They aren’t things and they have their own ways of thinking. In ways, such relationships are pacts and contracts and if no work and communication is put into them then they will fail or become toxic. Finding love is best when you do what your passion is. Another of the same or similar passion might see you and a relationship from acquaintance, to friend, to more might happen. No guarantees.
Magic has limits on what you put into it. It won’t do everything for you. The skeptic might say it won’t do anything but it can and spirits can move things along.
As to the tormenting spirit, you need to identify what it is. If you’re just throwing blind fists into darkness and it can see you and avoid you then futility will be had. You expect a miracle as many do. Maybe it will happen and maybe your lot is to struggle and fight. Age has no real bearing since some that are younger are immensely wise and some that are ancient are very childish and fools.
Its your battle … EMBRACE IT as giving up will probably lead to an eternity of submission.
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You are going through hell and i am So Sorry you are having to deal with all this. Can you refuse medication? And is there an alternative form of psychiatric care you could seek? Speak with vassago about getting your lost items returned. He has always helped me in that area. And you are right that magic should have no limitation. However I see that you have a lot that is blocking you from getting to the point where you can access your abilities. My first suggestion is to meditate and journal. Do shadow work and do your best to cut any cords to the past or people that are syphoning off your energy. In your shadow work look into any possible hexes or curses that could have been placed on your or an ancestor that was passed down to you. I have had a lot better growth since I removed the curse my ex husbands mom put on me. And its not been that long since I removed it.
If i refuse drugs my mother will lawsuit me and I will end up in an insane asylum again. I did crazy things, been agressive there is “evidence” against me that I am mentally ill. Damn system
As I say I cant do formal meditation on these drugs, and well I’ve thrown out my journals in a paranoid state so I don’t have really motivation to start another one. I’ve lost everything
But I dont feel like there are parasites draining me or things like that, curses etc. it’s just shitty fate that i cant change
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Then your mother doesn’t love you
I cant identify that spirit. It is the sheer force of fate that is against me. I can say that i have this terrible royal star Pollux on my Mars in 8th, and Pluto in 12th, they’re in trine aspect. Saturn concjunct Venus - trouble in love life.
But basically, life is basically, philosophically speaking shitty as the buddha said, full of suffering, but I think I COULD live up with this shittiness of life in general if not for MY specific fate being crappy beyond measure. Maybe I shouldn’t be that critical, but this is what I feel.
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But she will still sue me
You have to do your best to change your mindset. Your tripping yourself up right now with your thought process. Look into nlp neurolinguistic programming this book in particular
Follow it as best you can. Also listen to Dr Joe dispenza and jordan Peterson.they will help on a more physical level. Your greatest strength is going to be changing your thought process and switching it from negative to positive. No one else is going to be able to do this for you and this is something you will have to do in order to start the process of internal healing. A process you need to do in order to even be able to practice your craft. Take it one day at a time. One moment at a time and do your best to do your best. Realize that your mind is stronger than you have been led to believe and do your best to get it under your full control.
my mindset is perfectly AOK, as I say it’s just fate. you misintepret me, i am not a negative person just because i have strong emotions and say negative things about life. but probably , i’ll have to fight more, though i dont see a point of it at all
You should go and explain her nicely that does pills can affect you on the long run
mind is not that susceptible to negativity as you say, of course if you wallow in negativity this would make you unhappy in the long run, but some healthy criticism won’t be detrimental. i think it’s a matter of aesthetical perspective, some people like to complain and well, wallow in negativity some feel angered by it, but it is not that a single negative word would take you down. you have full rights to be critical
Well i may very well be misunderstanding you. I still suggest the nlp book as it teaches you how to alter your reality to one you would more prefer. I suggest it as I use this book myself and have success with it. There in again we are different people with very different lives. But it might help and it wouldn’t hurt anything to try.
OMG, that sounds horrible
Hmmm? Oh, my past. It is what it is or was. Could have been worse. I constantly weigh success and failure and I have the habit of weighing others successes against my own failures. Its a terrible cycle but once in a while I get out of it. ATM, I love demons, lust, and things like that but at the same time I weigh that its a waste of time and I could be doing something else like focusing on the current of health, wealth, and strife of battle in just living with toxic family. Chances are I’ll have to give up a lot of the lust and bottle it up as those that I will be living with suffer a toxicity and bigotry towards demons or magic and sexuality. Quite honestly, my plans are to renew my ID card since the state is finally getting on board with national id. I plan on getting my passport and I plan on working on my DD214 and see if that can go anywhere. IF not, well I tried (the ID and passport you pay for so that’s a given). Anything dealing with the military especially after a few decades and under the circumstances I left probably won’t go well. I mean, my lawyer at the time never persued it and instead focused on disability and a crappy lesser social security. Won my care but its barely living and certainly would be nigh impossible on my own so I have to compromise my situation with those I really don’t love. Its a sad thing to say I don’t love my parents, esp my Dad who’s always been a controlling abuser.
If he’s working with sprits like this “cricket demon” he round-bout threatened me with (though my brother says its from a story he wrote many decades ago which I’ve forgotten), then he’s vile. I’d love to win publisher’s clearing house, the lottery, scratch off tickets but they just fail time and time again.
I plan on being outdoors again so I’ll buy another mountain bike, I’ll try to hike and get away and maybe, I’ll look on one of those group sites or connect with someone who likes to bike or whatever. I certainly don’t plan to stay around the house much and when the hornets and bees come back, it’ll be worse than ever.
I asked my Ma if she moved the humming bird feeders but she didn’t say and said “we’ll see” which means a big fucking fat NOPE. I’m waiting for him to start letting the hornets make nests in the house. He’s fucking crazy and if shit goes really south, there is a huge chance I’ll pack what I can and leave forever. I’m ready to write off the property as a lose and say FUCK EM both. I’ll lose thousands of dollars of items and stuff I’ve created that can’t be replaced. The cats are old and I hear they are dying. THey aren’t technically mine but I caretake them and will miss them. I’d hate to think I’ll have to live with my bro as I like my routine and outdoor stuff and hate the city. Barring my parents die which is possible since their health is god awful I don’t see any harmony there.
Suicide? Yeah, certain moves to different states I was close to jumping off bridges into the ocean/rivers and had my legs weights down to drown. And yet I didn’t. I have thought throughout he years of jumping in front of dumptrucks, logtrucks, and trains as they are around. I’ve had strangers spit at me and even a gang of punks call me a bum and threaten to run me off the road while riding my bike and beat me with clubs and chains. Life can suck, but its life… and it ain’t dead.
Dead is dead and it sucks monkey nutz.
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first of all. your relying on outside source. which isn’t the best way as all answers are within. 2nd of all you need basic needs met. Food and shelter. That require getting finance to get those met. After that, you have to work on yourself. Get educated. To deprogram the negative shit thoughts in your mind that is attracting bad stuff. Hypnosis is best fastest route, not psychotherapy. All psychotherapy do is talk the problem to death and not solve it or drug you up. Forget the relationship BS. you can’t give anything to anyone when your mess up. No one wants to be around mess up person. You need to self explore yourself to know who you are. Any kind of practices to get into your mind/body.
You coming to magick tells me your lazy. You want quick fix. your in the physical world so you have to live in it. Self growth require you to look at self. Forget material things. They are useless. Only application of knowledge matters. And your library is free education. Only cost a library card. Problem is you don’t know how to research or organize subjects that is useful to you. If you knew, you would find resources to help yourself instead of relying on others or quick fix. There’s a whole tons of books in the self help/psych section of the library. Most people have issues cuz they lack knowledge.
btw, the drugs cuz the depression and suicidal thoughts come from depression/negative thoughts. Most are depress cuz they have no ambition in life , just hanging around.
basically , you are a crybaby. you complain about what you don’t have. Or what’s taken from you. That means your attached to the materialism of the world. A mindful person don’t care about the past. They make do with what they have and work to improve. Thinking about past will only get you to feel shitty and dwell in suicide thoughts.
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