I think she arrived. U didn’t open your eyes to see her and taken action. U were too negative to see the opportunity or her which was in front of u. Sometimes we are blinded due to troubles in our life . U need to open your eyes and see around u instead of being in your head
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True. I had the greatest man beside me and still I simply wanted to just end me. Thats all. Sometimes all the love in the world can’t save you from yourself. You gotta do it on your own or not at all.
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I must be a great grandpa then . Me 42.haha . I agree with the great, not the grandpa. Lol
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It’s cuz of social conditioning n following mainstream who are superficial to depend on others. Most don’t work on themselves. They wAnt others there to blame fault in case things don’t work out in there life.
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Of for fuck’s sake… dude, you’re JUST 27. You have most of your life ahead. You can ALWAYS start again with another lover. That point of view is not going to work because you’re sooooooooooo young. Seriously, take care of that.
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I’ve been married for a long time, but in the end I’m still me and he is still him, I still get depressed, low energy and sad sometimes.
That’s cuz u in Rocky Mountains,middle of no where. Lol .j/k u profile said that . Couldn’t help making humor haha :o)
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This may come off as a bit harsh, and I am sorry if it does. I am just going to be real with you.
As someone who was suicidal, all I can do is share some nuggets of truth I have learned from life.
No one else can give you a reason to live. That has to come from you. You have to define that reason and hold on tight to it.
There are many paths to a happy/fulfilled life. If one way is not working, you have to make the decision to be brave enough to try something else. As they say, the definition of insanity is to do the same thing again and again, expecting a different result.
Lastly, it is your responsibility to face and conquer your inner shadows, no one else. That means getting help if you need it and making the decisions needed to improve and maintain your mental health. A relationship will not make those go away (and I speak from experience).
Check out @Lady_Eva’s post on resources for suicidal thoughts and, if you would like, I can share the ritual I used to springboard my own life out of that dark place. Good luck and hopefully this helps in some way.
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there’s a highly possibility that reincarnation and karma are real stuff, so you will not get away that easy with suicide, in fact, you will only fuck up your karma even more and probably reincarnate in something even worse 
as for now, search for some telekinesis tutorial on youtube and try it for yourself, it will greatly quiet your mind and help you regain confidence in yourself
life is not a race, you are not competing with anyone, just grow old, drink a beer and fart more often
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Granted most people wouldn’t think that a person who has the power to change their internal or external environment would have suicidal thoughts but we are all human here or at least half so it does come up from time to time. The best advice I’ve ever heard regarding suicide has been to simply remember that it’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When you find yourself having those thoughts do a bit of mind cleaning by listening to music that you enjoy and inspires you. When I’m feeling beaten and like life is getting me down I play this song.
Then I start kicking ass and taking names.
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And a few more for good measure…
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Seems that you have been cursed this may help, balance your chakras and clean your aura as well
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some attention you don’t want. The only attention you want is from those that you care for. Unfortunately not all is that blessed… =o)
First let me give an advice that Lady Eva posted and helped me. Break down your problems and than ask yourself what could be a solution for that and try solve it. For example, you need a job. You seek it. But we know that sometimes we can be without a job for years, so how can you solve this now? How about work by yourself? There’s a lot of jobs, gigs that you could get, like salesmen or maybe try start your own business, suppose you’re good at cooking, how about sell some cakes or something like this. This is just an example. Just think outside the box, what possible solutions you could get to solve problem A, problem B, etc. My point is, you don’t have to get your problems solved only by magik. Sometimes magik can’t solve some stuff for some people. I myself never got much. You can’t keep trying the same thing, if is not working. If spirits can’t help you, leave them. Do things by yourself. If you wanna do magik, there’s a lot of types of magik that doesn’t need working with other entities, like natural magik, so maybe you could try search alternatives in this matter. Do some meditations to calm yourself, look for professional help if you think this will help you, people usually have a sort of prejudice when comes to therapy, but therapy is not for crazy people, everybody should do every now and than, I did and it’s really helpful when you don’t have anyone to talk to. So maybe this is one thing that could help you.
You’re strong. You here trying to get help and that says a lot about you. That you got fire yet to remain in this fighting. So keep fighting. Take back the control of your life. Cause is your life. Fight for it. You can do something about it, cause is your life. You can change it. Find a reason to live. Doesn’t matter what. Find something and fight for it. Yeah listen some music that you like, some musics about keeping fighting. If you like watching stuffs, watch something that inspires you. When you feel really hopeless, tell yourself “I just have to survive for today” cause tomorrow, by the morning things will always feel better. So the important thing is to survive for today. So take a deep breath, relax for today and start fighting tomorrow, to get the life you want to live. Only you can accomplish this. New year is coming, a new decade is coming this is the perfect time to take control of your life, to change it. To save yourself. A new life for you is coming, you just have to be brave enough to live it.
You’re young, you have a whole life in front of you. Is never too late to change your life or to find love. Thinking on this I’ll let this list here. People that become successful after their 30s, 40s and even 50s. Mostly are famous but there’s a lot of no famous people out there with similar stories.
And for you and anyone that thinks will never find love, check out this list.
Remain strong. Keep fighting! Is your life and you decide what to do about it. Don’t give up.
I’m not in my best those days either, but if you want someone to talk to I’m here 
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You are connected to the same source of creation everyone else is , if you feel depressed , things that make me happy are solely raising my vibration ,abstain from ejaculation , eat fruits and organic meat and vegetables , obstain from sugar , create a dream board and focus on it in the morning and at night, watch joe dispenzas videos on meditation , the only reality is the one you get based on your dominant feeling, once you change that life changes , I was at a point in my life I had no friends , was getting bullied everyday , had the worst grades , and was a failure at everything I tried , even the only friend I had who was my cousin I had to burn bridges with he started making fun of me aswell, then I had to go home to an alcoholic father , now I’m gonna make it one day no matter what , it doesn’t matter what’s thrown at you aslong as you have a vision for the future , it will eventually come true , and you manifest most of the things before 30 then I’d say you have a damn good 20-30 years of enjoying them at the minimum , even though life is changing a lot , once you achieve success you can maintain it
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I’ve known emotional pain and physical pain. I get hit with this all the time and also from outside influences as far as emotional pain goes. In fact it goes so deep that I let my parents sabotage my life by being so clueless and believing their lies. To this day it cripples many choices financially, socially, emotionally, spiritually, and very much physically. I’m also the only family member who goes back time and time again to help my parents no matter how venomous, self pity-party, and underhanded narcissistic megalomaniacal they might be. Its akin to going to hell so many times but with many of those tunes (mostly Rocky movie tunes since that was a favorite) and pounding away at various problems to fix. I can’t say its gotten better and the flood gates of insanity from them is growing into a proportion that I might just have to say… “I’m done!” I only go back to pay for the property, take care of the last of my elderly cats and work on my physical routines but every thing else there is SHIT!
I live in a bag for clothing.
My bed is flat as hell futon with barely a ratty matress and seems to be piss smelling blankets I’m not allowed to wash.
The shower is a mess with a near dead cat living in the bathroom pissing and shitting everywhere.
I have NO privacy except my tent under the tree and yurt I created.
I can not plant a garden.
I can’t use the washing machine I bought.
The house reeks, is cluttered (hoarding by mom and animals like fish tanks and old parrots and shit).
I can’t use microwave.
I can’t use the heaters.
I have NO say in most of anything.
I walk on “egg shells.”
MY Dad is so crazy he lets hornets, wasps, bees, etc swarm the house by drawing them there with open bowls of sugar water and using the humming bird feeders. And I Mean SWARMS!!!
He says he’s CHrists disciple, gods prophet, and the swarms are gifts. he walks barefoot. He’s fucking delusional.
Ma is also delusional in many ways and filled with hatred, back biting, envy, and depression.
Oh, its a god awful place. I listened tot hem and got put no drugs that put me into a haze for nigh 20 years. I left the military because of their lies and that shame NEVER EVER went away.
I have 0 credit (can’t get loans, and credit cards, and getting housing… I get turned down EVERY time).
A job, they turn me down so I stick with the SSI and SSDI I get and small amount of food stamp like $15. A majority of my cash goes to property taxes because they can’t budget for shit.
During that drug induced time I was a zombie and jumped off a truck holding onto a motor bike that crushed a disc in my back partially. I’ve had 2 surgeries and before the 2nd one the docs fucked up on my time and I went two months without pain killers. MY discs were crushing nerves in my back and I have permanent left side nerve damage head to toe. I couldn’t walk for a while and dragged my leg. I couldn’t hardly drink or eat due to the pain and lost so much weight 9a good thing sort of) that I became ultra thin. Before that 2nd surgery a second was a minute, a minute an hour and an hour eternity of pain. I had no magic back then, no demons I knew of, no spirits, and I hated god. I wanted death so bad due to that pain. it made heartbreak (I suffered in highschool) look like something so pathetic I can’t think of a word.
And through that all I pushed myself. Sure it was vengeance on a god I hated, against invisible foes, against myself, and more. I fell into much the same toxicity as my parents but I pushed myself forward to crush goals and stack odds against me at the same time in some insane sort of chaos whirlwind.
After that surgery, they gave me a bottle of 200 hi dose pain pill. I didn’t even take one as the after pain from the surgery as nothing compared to that nerve crushing pain I had for months. LOst of ups and downs and I still suffer physically all the time from setbacks.
I have nothing but to go forward. I should try to find financial solace somehow instead of complacency in what I have which isn’t much.
As for a partner, a lover, etc. If you discount spirits then I only have myself. I can live alone even without the net. ITs easy for me. I honestly at times expect nothing to be waiting when I die and I’ll decide to either head to the void or maybe the “GOD” everyone talks about and taunt it and force its hand to test it. Eh… I can’t expect a paradise or better.
I recall a twisted version of MURMUR’s talk in Hellgate London. Normally he says it cant’ get any worse but I say can and instead of going around it tackle it head on full force. If it crushes then it does but at least for the instant I know I tackled it.
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I’ve been through some consistently awful things for long swaths of my life. I don’t feel like saying all that much will be helpful (ie. the pain is yours and yours alone, as is mine and anyone else’s).
A couple quick thoughts:
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Suicide is the forces that want you dead winning - they don’t deserve that victory.
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If the stress is really getting to you find as many ways as possible to take half day to full day reprieves from it, just to restore your sanity. If there’s any place you feel safe, if B vitamins help you get your guard up, if some type of activity helps put you in a different mind set - pry as much daylight between you and what (and/or who) is troubling you as possible for the sake of getting your strength/endurance back.
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Id suggest
Cold showers
Working out
And a creative pursuit
Reading a good self help book helps as well.
I went to the hospital at least 10 times this past year.
Mom had cancer, had to get over an ex, and a pet death as well.
Not to mention getting out of debt and a bunch of other depressing stressful things.
It starts with raising your standards for yourself. Dont allow yourself to be a shell of who you have been or can be.
Gratitude takes practice.
And so does holding yourself to a higher standard.
I definitely blames demons at times but it didnt help, my most recent visit to the hospital was after asking a priest to help with demons.
His solution was a prayer which tbh I almost laughed in the middle of it.
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Hahahahahahahaha
Mate, I get it. I have so many mental illnesses, including depression. I’m what my psychologist calls “passively suicidal”, meaning I feel suicidal, but I’m not actively trying to end my life. I’m not plagued by suicidal thoughts on a constant basis. I get the thoughts every so often. Medication and therapy are really helping with it.
My advice to you, as one suicidal person to another, reach out to friends and family. Talk to your Doctor about how you feel. There is help out there.
I’d like to also let you and everyone else know that I am a Mental Health First Aider, meaning I’m formally trained to help people in mental health crisis. If you need to talk, do not hesitate to PM me.
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