[ rat’s journal 🖊 ]

so i decided to go ahead n make a journal for myself. i’ll probably include the experiences i’ve had w lilith and azazel a yr ago along w anything new i’m doing and trying. it’ll b a big mix of everything n jus me rambling to myself.

let me know if this format and category is correct if not i’ll change it.

this is also to document my progress from a beginner going upwards and my battle of staying consistent and not losing motivation.


the azazel diaries | part 1
feburary ? 2020

i denounced islam months after i turned seventeen. i decided to finally take part in my interest in witchcraft and magick. around feburary of 2020 is when i first started and probably was at my peak.

i worked on my clairsentience—which looking back was the best thing i did along with daily meditations. i was also interested in getting an incubus, and did a LOI but i probably did it unsuccessfully. regardless, this is about azazel.

i read about azazel here and was reading the book of azazel just a lil. i had no intention of working nor really contacting azazel.

i somewhat can’t recall how this happened or the events leading up to my encounter w azazel and i think i wrote it down somewhere but it was intense.

it was when i was asleep and when i woke up i had sleep paralysis. usually i would move a little and freak myself out but in this case either i was too tired to care or i was in a zen state. i look over at the edge of my bed and in all black (couldn’t make out a face or anything) goat horns and super FUCKIN tall like 7ft+ at least. was starring down at me. i knew and i don’t know how i knew but it was azazel.

i don’t know how i had the balls nor the courage bur i wasn’t scared shitless like i thought i would be to in full body see something over my fuckin bed. i remember i looked at him, still sleepy as ever and gave a smile. at this point i think i was out of sleep paralysis and i reached my hand out to him, offering his hand but then i put my head back down on my pillow gave him another smile and went to bed.

i didn’t fucking process what happened till the next morning and i was so shocked. holy shit.

this is my 1 out of couple encounters w azazel.

this image and another one is the best way i can describe his form.

if anyone else has seen him in this form please lmk.


the azazel diaries | part 2
april 26th 2020

i’m pretty sure i had more encounters w azazel in the month of april and feburary but i’ll have to open my book of shadows that is sitting somewhere to see.

after my last experience i was sure azazel reached out to me to work with me or whatever his reasonings were. for some reason i didn’t follow up with him. i mentioned earlier feburary was my PEAK and probably the best i’ve ever been in terms of mental health n progression as well as motivation.

april i died down tremendously. i remember i was getting ready to go to bed and i had thought of azazel. i didn’t do anything special in this instance but normally spoke to him and expected that he was listening. i told him that if he’s still interested in me or willing to work w me if he can give me any sort of sign.

i was falling asleep thinkin of things whilst still talking to azazel. i was in the state where my mind was awake but my body was asleep and this is where i encountered some activities.

that’s when i heard footsteps running inside my room and to my bed and a voice that sounded just like my father that i was CONVINCED WAS MY DAD just storming around my room. i didn’t open my eyes but still laid there and let the movement pass.

i had suddenly felt the energy in my room shift into a powerful intimidating and dark energy. it was sort of gut wrenching and made my heart beat fast. i also felt trickling at my feet. my instant thought to the shift of energy was, ”azazel?”

and oh my god. his voice. he fucking spoke to me in my mind but it wasn’t a voice i’ve ever heard nor words i ever said. i honestly don’t know what he said but his voice overall was enough to literally give me fucking shivers. it was so deep yet clear and sultry? i don’t know how to explain it as it’s been a year since. and i literally fucking freaked out.

i mean i was so in awe and amazed yet wasn’t expecting something of a DIRECT sign. i honestly wasn’t expecting anything at all and was caught off-guard. i shot the fuck up outta my bed and took minutes to process this my heart still beating rapidly.

i literally went next door to my dad’s room and my dad was just laying on his bed on his phone.

i bought up to my dad and asked if he was in my room earlier bc of the footsteps i heard and he looked confused and had no idea what i was talking ab(?) i kept asking him if he was actually in my room or was he kidding about not being there but from his tone of voice i knew he was serious about not being in my room.


mother lilith | part 1
feburary ? 2020

her energy, her love it was all so beautiful and so pure to me. i will always love and respect mother lilith to the highest regards.

i’ve had a cpl experiences w mother. one being when i felt a weight of her on my legs in attempt to contact her and my most memorable and favourite one (all happened in feburary of 2020) was when i decided to write her a letter that expressed how grateful i am for her and how i adore her as a mother and feminine divine figure. i left the note on a chair with a plate offering of toasted bread w honey on it for her.

the plate’s weight was holding down the note n no fan nor windows were turned on or open. i closed the door and minutes later when i returned, the original position of the note had moved counter- clockwise.

when i saw it i remember i was jus astonished. there was no fear from me, nothing to b afraid of. just shocked in awe and overwhelmed w happiness.

things took a great turn from there.

mother’s energy had transferred to me. how do i kno this? bc no one could’ve made me feel tht way AND ik it was her energy. now that i look back i kno that the girl i was then was incredible. after my encounter w lilith i changed for a period of time.

how? my energy was changed. i was left feeling so beautiful, so confident, so fucking FEMININE and seductive and it showed. i look back in my old pics n vids and the energy… i feel it. i was left feelin so content in my body, no more sluggish feelin, no more feeling n wishin i was someone else.

i can’t explain to you but mother’s energy ran thru my blood. and i thank her even a year later for that momental feeling.

mother lilith was also another reason tht i was glad i left islam—i thank experiences w azazel for that too.

i genuinely love mother lilith and if you are ever lucky to feel the way i did bc of her, never forget that feeling. if you are looking to work w her, please do.

that time in feburary forever impacted and changed my life and i always look back on it. i rlly genuinely w my purest part of my heart love and adore mother lilith. she really is a mother figure to me too on that.



honestly lookin back w all the cool unexplainable amazing shit tht’s happened to me i’m disappointed tht i got into a depression spiral n lost motivation to continue. i wish i jus went on w my path n contacted azazel again after hearing him + other experience i had.

sucks havin to start over again after a year long hiatus cos i’m good as a beginner startin an hour ago. oh well?? i guess. shit happens. i jus gotta pick myself up again.

i might meditate on azazel’s sigil n give him an offering of my horrible singing of a song by juice wrld pfft.


Slow progress is still good progress, and I believe having broken bits of information is better than not having any information💪.

Mother Lilith, I love her💜 I feel so safe and warm around her.

Edit: Does Azazel like sweets by any chance? He tried something spicy that was cooked in my house but he wasn’t too fond of it…


You’re so sweet so I really appreciate your comment. I also love reading your journal it’s so inspiring.

Usually, when I give offerings I end up giving sweet things or things I put my hard work in making. I think even a muffin or my safest bet is toasting bread and putting honey on it w half a cup of milk as a offering does best.

I’ll try giving Azazel some spicy food and see how it suffices. If he dislikes spicy food I’m gonna be :tired_face:!! Cause all we cook is spicy food pffft

But I think he would like sweet things.

Edit: I love mother lilith as well. She makes me feel so loved and safe as well. She’s truly otherworldly.


Ah thank you! :purple_heart::purple_heart::purple_heart: He tried biryani. He didn’t look like he disliked it, it was more of a “meh”. I’m looking forward to knowing if he does like spice though!


Omg same here. We make all sorts of Indian food. Hopefully I’ll offer him some and see how he takes to it.

Edit: defo keep giving him more of the food you eat and you’ll learn. I doubt he entirely loathes spicy food.


Don’t they kill you for that?

1 Like

Lol yep. In most third world countries etc. I live in North America and my parent’s aren’t aware + I live with them. If they found out I left islam but DABBLED in witchcraft I can’t imagine what would happen (I doubt they’d kill me) but still. It’s a frightening shitty situation to say the least. Just wanna be able to practise in peace and it’s hard doing it all secretively.

To my parents knowledge I’m still their muslim girl who attends qu’ran lessons etc… /:


This is why I hate organised religion


Watch this lmao


You and me both, literally.

Leaving islam, I left with nothing but hate in my heart as well. It really is such a painful and traumatic experience having religion trauma and being forced upon a religion.

A lot of women believe they aren’t oppressed within Islam but I just don’t think they realize it or fail to realize it. The oppression is fucking crazy.

Leaving islam was so amazing. I remember how much I fucking cried and cried when Azazel and Lilith came to me and I had my first encounters with them. I was finally heard after praying so long to a god that personally didn’t give a shit. All I did was call to Mother Lilith once and Azazel and they responded and it was so overwhelming and I was filled in tears that I was finally heard.

I’m sorry for going off on a vent it was such an emotional experience. I’m glad I found this Forum too. I feel like without this forum I would never have the courage to fully leave Islam and dabble in Magick.


Not at all, vent as much as you want, I find your story beautiful

Unfortunately there are many still stuck in the Islamic prison, either willing or unwilling

I personally have nothing against Allah or Muhammad per se (Muhammad even showed up in my cards when I read tarot for someone here)

I personally feel Sufism is interesting, and I think Muslims should look to Muhammad as a spirit guide sent by Allah, and should pray to Muhammad for help if they need it.

I haven’t worked with Azazel but am curious :slight_smile:

Btw is that you in your profile picture


Just watched the video and it honestly cracked me up. I think I’m going to watch more of their episodes.

The more I read about islam on BALG the more open I become about different possibilities of Islam except the one that’s now preached.

Thank you for allowing me to vent.

The girl in my profile picture is Maggie Lindemann she’s a singer and exceptionally gorgeous! :smile_cat:

Edit: I wish I could provide more on Azazel since I’m still learning more about him all I can say is his energy and aura is so powerful and it often just shocks me and excites me as well.


He’s known for being a ladies man :smirk:


I guarantee you’ll die from laughing


I feel azazel loves spicy food :hot_pepper:imo


offering to lilith + azazel petition spell
june 25th 2021

tonight i decided i wanted to do a petition spell regarding the place i’m going to start working at, as well as to get a pay raise eventually. i asked azazel for help with this.

i drew lilith n azazel’s sigil n decided to first charge lilith’s sigil n call her so i could sing two songs as an offering to her. i asked her to give an itch on my right arm if she’s near me and she did about moments later and i also picked up on a little shift of energy. i also ended up venting and crying to her ab some personal things.

i later did the same w azazel and called upon him. when he came, the energy in the room changed vastly and it was so dark and alluring and felt really powerful. i knew he was here. i was kind of feeling small within his presence.

i talked to azazel for a bit and asked if he was willing to work w me, if he was, to later on give me a sign if not i’ll keep proving myself to him till he will. i also find myself thinkin he is disappointed and finds me not worth while considering the fact he reached out to me twice in feb & april of last yr and i didn’t follow up w him.

regardless, i explained the petition in my own words out loud as what i wanted to him then i read the petition three times to azazel.

i later flushed it / threw them out.

his energy is still here as i write this n lowkey it is v v intimidating. i’m still getting used to all of this since i decided to dabble again in the lhp and magick again

i was listening to a song w the lights off on my phone and i heard very clearly in my left ear, ”shush” and i paused the music so fast n got a lil scared shitless(?) i can’t assume if it was azazel who did it or some other spirit.

when i tried to resume the song it wouldn’t work and it would play w out volume. n i was like “yo what the fuck hahaha” and i started to play another song instead.

i will update journal on how the petition spell goes and more on journal w azazel is.