Nightmares and parasite attacks while I sleep, and cannot evoke or invoke properly (cant commune with spirits) feels like my energy is damaged and dont know wtf is going on with me, not to mention im a little suicidal, great…what to do.
just a rant, if anyone wants to talk in this thread im up for it, helps with keeping my mind sane
You’ve been having these problems for a while now.
If you can’t evoke, I’d say don’t even try it for now.
Get rid of your other problems first. You don’t need to evoke anyone for that.
Cleanse, and don’t do anything else related to magick, that would be my advice.
Don’t wait for Lucifer or Michael to lift your depression, but find some earthly way to deal with it. Otherwise you will be going in circles.
I suppose you know about it, but the best solution for all these things you’re mentioning is Banishing and repeat it often like twice a day. It doesn’t matter if you sleep or not, a cleansed space remains cleansed. Another way to help the situation is servitors, @Keteriya has a guide if I’m not mistaken. Realize that the biggest obstacle that prevents you from communicating with Spirits is your own acceptance that you can’t. But still you can always do a petition and ask a spirit to help you.
Edit: Just to make it clear, if the suicidal thoughts are from parasites then normally it should lift when whatever is on you gets banished. But if its from other reasons, you should seek some professional help.
yeah true, its up and down
yeah its what i try to do as well
the suicidal thoughts are coming from things directly related to magick and also personal reasons but mostly magick, basically i am energetically very damaged from what i see i think
i been trying to find a university and trying to get in, not easy, was hoping to do magick to help but oh well
I could be saying “Don’t give up and you will be successful.” But that would be empty words just to soothe your discomfort for the moment, because actually I have no clue if you’re going to be successful. You might not.
But my honest advice is, try everything you can to get to a university, apply to all of them. And if it doesn’t work, give it up, and try a new goal.
Don’t limit yourself to only one goal that you think will make your life better.
Banish . Cleanse your environment with Sage and Black salt. Bath in salt also once a day. Open the windows and clear your space of anything negative or untidy.
Go into nature and find stone, earth yourself by pushing negative energies into the stone to ground yourself. Have a break from Magick and cleanse, banish daily.
If you need to, Evoke Michael for the banishing of all attachments. Sundays are good for this using yellow or gold candles and his sigil.
I’ll definitely recommend to banish and clease (don’t forget the residual energy). The Solar banishing technique is probably the best I ever used.
I’ll second Servitors too. I just created some and trust me, they’re very reliable. They can really fuck up parasites.
After this I recommend you take a break from Magick for a while but still shield and ground.
Did you summon anything unusual
no
thats interesting, Ill look it up
Well if you can see and identify the parasites that would make things easy. Kill them or drain them. Make yourself more dangerous. Don’t wait on your spirits
Life can be hard my friend, and it sounds like it is starting to get the better of you. Its okay to get knocked flat onto the earth and have to rest, but don’t lay there for too long. Or you may never get back up. As much as it is easier said than done, changing your perspectives on hardships/anxieties of life often bring solutions, even if it is forced at first. I think I have spoken about my own hardships enough to justify this advice beyond some new age sort of thing.
As for magical advice, definitely banish or cleanse. If you use the more traditional LBRP, try this out: Start in the East with Michael and the element fire. Then go to the South with Uriel and the element earth. Next, go to the west with Gabriel and the element water. Finally, go to the North with Raphael and the element air. This is slightly different than Golden Dawn’s version (as it is likely very noticeable), but it might be up your alley based on what I have observed in your other posts and something my gut is telling me. It is based a little more on the actual Kabbalah than Golden Dawn’s style. This is not my work so I will provide the link to it if you are interested
thanks for the response, I will check out the Kabbalah version of LBRP 
Here is the link to the video I found yesterday. It randomly popped up on my suggestions interestingly enough so I bookmarked the link to it in case it was useful one day. It is an interesting theory based on multiple different sources so it might be worth experimenting with
I’ve read you before, your energy isn’t damaged, it could be thoughtforns screwing with your mind, i think DK has a sigil from Raphael that could help, if I’m not mistaken @DarkestKnight
I also agree with Helena
though my own 2cents is never let things related to magick affect your mood to such a degree, magick should not be that hooked into you that it makes you depressed, that’s a good sign to step back for a while be it a few days, a few weeks, months, even years if need be.
Was this the thread you are thinking of?
And your mentioning of a break is also a very good point
yes that thread, thank you lol