There are many ways to boost your confidence. Anxiety and shyness have their distinctions, with the former being proneness to lower self esteem and the latter being “weary” of the unfamiliar.
Take a deep breath and learn how to laugh and just relax with women. Men struggle with many intimate-related problems is because they failure to be comfortable with themselves and in the presence of them.
Maybe stop jerking off and looking at porn. I know this definitely hinders confidence and causes anxiety if done excessively.
That post was fucking great! Much appreciated. Too true. Full of clear eyed, been-there-done-that assessments. Thank you.
‘After work are you free for about half an hour?’
Why?
‘Well it’s up to you, I could go and score some crack cocaine for both of us (or) show you how to become a high-rise cat-burglar or do you prefer coffee? Which one? Up to you.’
No…
‘Well remember, don’t tell anyone.’
Al.
P.s. On dates I recommend tea and yes there are reasons.
The nice guys come last – always. If you truly are on the lhp then you should be striving for your own, personal, individual divinity! But no, you’re desperate to find your mythical other half. The more of an ‘I don’t give a fuck’ individual you are, the more you couldn’t care less – the more women will be attracted. Hero-v-Wimp. Study early Marlon Brando films.
Although Anton Lavey’s The Compleat Witch was written for women, there’s a lot of great material for everybody and I recommend its study.
Take this with a grain of salt if you want because I’m mostly asexual, but looks aren’t everything. On the rare occasions I do feel like “hey I could bone this person,” it isn’t necessarily their looks (though that helps) but their mind that gets me going. You need to find that balance between talking like you know stuff and being a pompous douche about it. If you know you’ve got the looks, add to it by being smart, artistic, funny, or sensitive.
And if you want to be drowning in p*ssy I’d suggest calling on Gremory, she is after all helping me get to NYC pride this year.
My question would be how many women do you talk to? Alot of guys complain about struggling with women but spend all their time fussing over inconsequential things like their own shyness, whether the initial conversation will be awkward or whether they’ll get rejected.
Really it doesn’t matter. Some women you talk to won’t really mesh with you and the conversation will be like pulling teeth. Learn to recognise that early and don’t invest time in a women who you probably won’t ever sleep with. Others will be more interested and the conversation becomes easy; just keep things moving from there.
Other than that, don’t be shy about making a move. Men are meant to be dominant and take the initiative, not tip toe round worrying about misreading someone.
Lastly, I’d say that you should get the idea of looks playing a major role out your head. Looks help, but personality and humour matter alot more. The only time looks really make a difference is if you’re almost supernaturally good looking and even then it just means you’ll pretty much never be rejected ( ie. You still have to be forward 9/10 )
Next time you’re out, try and approach 4 different women, with the aim of getting their number. 4 isn’t many: you could probably be done within the hour. Just get used to being funny and not worrying about things
Take the time to get rejected and ridiculed in your own head. Really live through the pain and humiliation. Keep doing it - in your head. Eventually it won’t have such an impact on you when it happens in real life, plus you’ll have rehearsed your exits.
When a women in front of you in the queue picks up a trashy magazine say, ‘You shouldn’t believe anything you read in that. The story they published about me and that woman…and that other woman…at that place. They never asked me anything!..’ Smile.
I have been doing what you said in your first paragraph my whole life and that is how I’ve come to where I am now. It’s easier and safer for me. I don’t end up getting hurt or make a fool of myself.