About spirituality, if “Shiva” alone didn’t give results, try the mantra “Om namah Shivaya” or in the meantime look at a picture of the god. See which religion (if any) you feel more close and, “inside” it, the god/goddess, saint etc: Yahweh or Jesus, Vishnu, Akshobya…
For magick, it’s possible that you’ll find a daily routine to work well, for example: Apprentice - Module 1 — Quareia
Or Psychic Development for the Magician and Black Magick Training for beginners and adepts