I think seeking psychiatric help is a good idea. Im sure you are having paranormal problems but also alot of what you are saying is very similar to what I have experienced during psychotic episodes. Feeling dissasociated and detached, feeling like I have no soul, not feeling like im real, feeling like being possessed and as if something is trying to take over and push me out of my body, constant noise/ talking in my head stopping me from sleeping.You may have some sort of psychiatric or mental health issue that needs to be addressed. I would strongly advise you to seek help in regards to that, once you get this help it may give you some sort of reprieve so that you can deal with any other issues of a spiritual or paranormal nature.
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I have been to psychiatrist today and she told me that what i have been dealing is pretty “normal” for me, becouse i have experienced many tragic and troumatic experiences in my life which caused me to have depression, anxiety and panic attacs. She told me that i don’t need to go to mental hospital, becouse my mental situacion from her perspective isn’t that bad and i don’t look insane and the medication should be enough to help me. The doctor prescribed me antidepressants and calming pills. I took a few of them and i already feel better and more grounded to the “concrete ground”. I only regret of not seeing the psychiatrist sooner, becouse i always though that i can deal with all my problems myself and i don’t need any help or medication. But long term sadness, anxiety and depression can really damage your brain and cause other mental issues and make them worse. I know that i have “spiritual” problems also that i have to deal with, but i have neglected my material body and my mental mind too much. I just hope the medications that they gave me will help me get better and feel more like “myself” again, becouse none of the spiritual grounding techniques unfortunately didn’t help me, but anyways i will keep doing these also, becouse i want to heal myself on all levels, mentally, physicaly and spiritualy.
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Im so glad you got medication and can already feel the benefit of them. I know it can be so hard to ask for help so well done that you did it. I really hope you are feeling stronger and more like " you" soon. We all need help at times.
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Yes we really do need an external help sometimes and we shouldn’t neglect too much our mental health or any of our health and whe should always take care of ourselves first. Thank you for your support and good wishes. 
We all do need help sometimes and we shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for it and i learned it the hard way, but i hope now things will only get better from now.
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I know i have been sharing plenty of my personal paranormal experienes on here and what not, but there are some topics like this that i don’t really want to dwell in too much, becouse it is too personal and too complicated to explain in just few words and i am a person who tends to go into conversations “deep” or no at all. Also i am dissapointed a little bit in here becouse when people ask me simmilar questions like this i tend to answer to them honestly, but then when i ask them the same questions they just ignore me and don’t say or share nothing, so i feel like a dumbass. I would explain to you these things that you asked if they would be so “simple”, but there are just too much personal stuff involved in all of these reasons why i left and so on, that i don’t really want to overshare my life on here even more, cause i don’t feel too comfortable with it. But a simple answer to you would be: that i left my country, becouse i had nothing there left for me in there anymore and i left, becouse the “grass looked greener on the other side” and i saw more work and better life opportunities in other country than mine and in general just wanted to start a “new life” and have a fresh beggining somewhere else.
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I’m so happy you are getting some relief. I’m proud of you. I just read through this entire thread so now I’m emotionally invested in your wellbeing, so keep us updated!
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I’d like to say something about the Tramadol recommendation. I’m sure the person who suggested it really meant well. I went on Tramadol years ago when I was diagnosed with RA. I specifically asked for it because at the time it was advertised as a non-addictive pain pill, and I didn’t want to fall back into drug use. At first Tram felt like a miracle drug! Not only did I not feel pain, but I had energy, and my mood was up. As time went on I noticed that it would take more to do the trick, and my doc kept upping my dose (afterall it was a safe non-opioid). I started with a 4 a day at 50 mil prescription, by the end I was prescribed 12 a day! By that time though I was taking anywhere from 20 to 25 a day! (I’m a small girl with an insatiable appetite sfor druga that puts most big dudes under the table). I had gotten myself a second prescription ontop of the first one by ordering them online. It’s also at that time that I knew they were bullshit, and crazy addictive. I even tried to tell my doctor who told me that there was no way possible I could be addicted to them. She said I was “dependant” because of my disease, not addicted. So eventually I went off of them cold turkey. Not only did I feel withdrawl pains ten times worse than any heroine withdrawl, but they lasted twice as long, and it gave me seizures! I had never had a seizure in my entire life! There’s to much risk involved with something that would at best serve as a temporary band-aid. I’ve wrestled with hardcore addiction off and on my whole life, partly to cope with trauma, and partly for the very reason that this post is all about. In my past I’ve used substances like slamming cocaine and heroine to escape the war inside my mind. To block out the things that I was seeing, and to drown out the voices and visions in my head. I went to doctors and psychiatrists. I thought that I was schizophrenic, I thought that I was literally loosing my mind, and I felt absolute terror as if death was just around the corner. I could swear that I could FEEL it! But the experts couldn’t find any medical, or psychiatric reason. I too was given meds for anxiety, and panic attacks with little to no effect. I fucked around in “dark corners” without any sort of protection. My hubris lead me to think that I had more control than I actually did. I played the game, and got burned. It got to the point where I could not trust what I was seeing anymore! At my breaking point I sequestered myself away from everyone and everything in a cheap old motel room where no one could see me loosing my shit (for lack of better words). But I did find my way back. It’s going to sound so silly, and maybe it wasn’t the healthiest solution, but I decided to just ignore it. In the beginning It was not easy, so I just faked it. And little by little things began to become less intense. I believe that once these thing’s, the entities, whatever they were (there were either different kinds, or they took up different facades), but once they could not get my attention anymore they began to come around less and less. I’m ok now, it’s never 100 percent perfect, but I don’t live with that fear over me anymore. It was something that built up for year’s, sense childhood even, and then came to a head. But I made it through. I’m not particularly special or strong, but I believe that all of us have the ability to persevere over such thing’s. After all, we have all found ourselves on a forum called “Become a Living God”! You have the ability to beat this inside of you!
I’d also like to add that I agree with the person who was talking about reading or watching certain thing’s to help ground you. I actually did the same thing, and it really helped move the process along. During that time I cut a lot of the darker thing’s that I usually enjoy in my normal routine. I started watching things that I’m not usually prone to, stuff like Bobs Burgers, and South Park. I staryed watching a lot of cartoons of all thing’s, and on a regular basis. I also started watching a lot of more mainstream movies. I watched a lot of Pixar films, and got into the Avenger film’s, Indian Jones, Jurassic Park, and the Back to the Future series. Also a lot 80s stuff from my childhood like Goonies, Pretty in Pink, Weird Science, and lot of other favorites along those lines. You know the kind of stuff that doesn’t make your mind go to a dark place, fluff, comfortable, familiar stuff. I also took a break from my music which is mostly punk, and goth. I would actually put on comedy tracks from Pandora for cleaning the house, or on car rides. This kind of stuff is out of the norm for me, but the more I laughed the more normal I began to feel again. I also cut out the news, and stayed away from politics. I just stopped feeding these “thing’s” negative energy. Now I’m back into all my normal gothy brooding stuff, but I still put on things that are light hearted from time to time. I try to remember to laugh as much as possible, and I stay away from people who are emotional and energetic vampires as much as possible. You’ll get there! And you can always come back here for support. I’m totally willingly to talk.
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Yeah, news and politics can be depressing. I recommend anyone who has issues especially with depression to stay away from that stuff, and I’m also very glad it is banned from this forum.
Crowley even banned it from the Abby of Thelema for a reason. He wasn’t dumb.
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Thank you for your support and i will!
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Thank you for being so sincere and sharing your whole story and experience on here. It was very interesting and insightful to read it. I reckognized a lot of “myself” in your post and how you felt, so knowing that others have gone thru similar experiences and found the strenght to pick themselves up and get better, really gives me hope. Thank you for your sincerity and for sharing this.
This is literally describing me perfectly how was i feeling. The feeling of absolute dessociation with the world and myself to the point of thinking that you are actually dying and being “erased” from existence. It’s a very horrible feeling.
I hope the medication that they gave me won’t make me have these horrible withdrawl symptoms, altough i have already felt like shit this morning after only taking few pills yesterday and it felt after like a bad “hangover”. But as i read descriptions of these kinds of medications, a lot of them say that they will make at first things worse before it gets better, and for medication to work properly it could take weeks or even months. I really don’t know what to think, becouse i have never ever taken any of them in my life before, so now i’m just hoping for the best that they will eventually will work… In general, i am very sensitive to every substances who make your head “dizzy”, so i don’t ever smoke or drink, becouse it makes me feel like i’m dying and i hate the feeling of not being in control of my body and being “lightheadead”.
I agree with you 100%. They come more often when you feed them the attention or think about them, and when you just ignore them, it becomes less frequent. Ofcourse unfortunately i can’t shut it of completely, becouse i am a medium, so they constantly come to me and i have to see their faces and hear their voices even if i don’t want to at all and then i just try to ignore them until they go away. It gets very annoying and tiring sometimes, when you just want to go to sleep or have a minute of peace and rest and always somebody comes and demans for your attention… I hope the medicine that i got will help me eventually to shut it off at least some of it, becouse at times hearing the dead it drives me insane. And ofcourse it is very hard to be “extra sensitive” in this world when there are so much pain, anger and sadness around and i am like a sponge who always attracts all the “shit” to me and then i have to feel like shit myself and suffer not only from my own problems but to feel other pains also.
Yes, i think we all are here for a reason and to share our experiences just to know and confirm that we are not alone in this “madness” and to empower one another and to find our own strenght within. 
Thank you so much for your support and kind words! It really means a lot to me.
I’m stoked that you were able to identify with my story, because I really identified with yours. I’ve always been very empathetic, and even a little clairaudient. Yet I’ve never been truly psychic and would never consider myself a medium. When I was young I saw things I couldn’t explain, and then out of know where I began to experience things after messing around with magicks beyond my ability. Now a days everyonce in a while I’ll catch something, a shadow, a form in the corner of my eye, an indescribable feeling. That alone can be fairly scary. So I can imagine that what you are going through is extremely intense. My heart really feels for your situation. Maybe it’s silly because we don’t know eachother, but I don’t like the idea of someone out there suffering this way.I was actually thinking a lot about what you’re going through last night, and I was trying to rack my brain about ways to help. I did remember something that I looked into years ago for help with devolping control of my own psychic inclinations. I have an unfortunate “knowing” of when someone is going to pass away a day or two before hand. I wanted to know if there was a way to switch it off. So I ended up looking into the Spiritualist Church (have you heard of it?) They’re a collective of people with varying degrees of psychic gifts, and mediumship. The church was started back in 1889. I ended up not following through and going to the church because then the idea of “Religion” was a big turn off, and they do consider themselves to be a religion. Now I understand that they’re not your quintessential religion with all the normal trappings of dogma. Mostly they’re committed to understanding the nature of their abilities, and growing those abilities. Of course they believe in a God, and to a degree in the dichotomy of good versus evil, but from what I understand they’re not into trying to indoctrinate people into their belief system, and welcome everyone from all beliefs systems as long as their intentions are good… The Spiritualists Church used to be huge, but now there are small pockets of them scattered throughout the country. I believe their oldest sect lives in a commune in a small town in upstate New York. I bring them up because they’ve been known to help people wirh gifts like yours. Whether that is growing those abilities, or teaching how to control those abilities so that the medium has the power, and not the other way around. They’re known for being very open, and helpful people. Perhaps if you were to give them a call, or send an email explaining your predicament, they might be able to put you in touch with someone who is skilled in these matters, or at the very least send you in the right direction. I know that they have a facebook. It could be worth a look at least. I went online, and read a handful of articles about dealing with similar issues to yours, but I found most of them didn’t say much more than what has already been said here on this forum. But I do have another suggestion. I don’t know if you practice magick, but there is a ritual that I started to do called the Lesser Banishing of the Pentagram, you most likely have heard of it, but I figure it can’t hurt to mention it. There’s a couple different versions. I don’t prescribe to all things Golden Dawn, but I use the Golden Dawns version of the Banishing. Personally I don’t believe you have to be a practitioner of ceremonial magick to benefit from this ritual, although others might disagree. Normally it’s used before and after a ritual invo/evocation in order to clear the space/area/home of any entites who wish harm or to cause malcontent. But this Banishing is actually meant to do on a regular basis. Most who use it as it’s intended, get up and start their day by doing it. The Banishing is more than just clearing out the space, it’s also about encircling yourself in a protective circle that stays with you all day. Almost as if you are putting on spiritual armor. I’m actually preparing to teach it to my son because he’s been seeing and interacting with thing’s sense he was very little. I want to give him something he can do that’s proactive, and makes him feel protected. If you attempt this ritual than you really have to put all your energy and belief into it. But I’m sure that you are aware of how these things work already. Another thing that helps me is a ritual bath. Again most practioners I know use the ritual bath primarily before a spiritual invo/evocation, but this kind of bath has so many other valuable uses. I would definitely use some kind of sea salt for psychic grounding, among your other ingredients. You can find a lot of different recipes for the kind of ritual bath that would best help your specific needs online, or you can create your own recipe and ritual entirely on your own. Sadly I don’t have a tub where I live now, but I found a small mom and pop company that creates home made soaps just for that reason! They go all out to. They do everything in a sacred temple space, each ingredient is of the higjest quality, and they follow all the astrological requirements when making their items to insure the highest magickal potency. Plus their suprisingly cheap!. It’s about 6 or 7 bux for a big bar of soap, and they are heavenly. I can’t remember the name of the company, I’m not at home, but I can put it on here when I get back! Of course if you don’t have access to a bath you can always take your ingredients and put them in a cheese cloth, and then fashion the cheese cloth over the shower head so that it works as a sort of magickal filter. Most people I know think the ritual bath sounds silly, but I find that it does a lot of good. Plus it’s just nice to do something like that for yourself, especially when your facing such extreme stress like you have been! And of course there’s all the usual witchey tricks of lining your home in salt, and sprinkling charged water throughout the home (especially in corners), or traditional smudging with sage. It may not rid you completely of your “visitor’s”, but setting up a protective barrier might at least give you peace of mind that none of those entities comeing to you are malevolent. In this situation some peace of mind goes a long way. I’m guessing that you are probably aware of most of the suggestions that I’ve made, but maybe there’s something in there that can help in some way. I know you must feel so overwhelmed that’s it’s beyond suffocating at time’s. When I went through my ordeal I welcomed any little thing that would bring even the slightest of relief. I remember that feeling numb was even preferable to the avalanche of dark emotions that was bearing down on me. That idea that there’s no escape can be maddening. It’s just too much! But like I said in my previous post, it doesn’t have to forever. And even though we’ve never met I can tell by the way you express yourself in your writing that you are an intelligent, and thoughtful person. You will find your way.
If I come across anything else that I think may be helpful to you, I’ll definitely send it your way. And if you want, you can always hit me up for whatever reason, really. But I also don’t want you to feel like you have to respond if you’re not feeling it. I’m not the type that gets offended when people don’t respond to every little thing I post. I understand that you’re going through some major shit in your life, you don’t owe anyone anything. I posted on this forum because your story resonated with me, and I genuinely wanted to help you find some sort of relief. I’m rooting for you.
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tldr
sounds to me like you’ve got a goddamn parasite the size of mt olympus taking advantage of you and your weakness
you are wasting time with your doctors and psychiatrists as they will feed you generic bs for generic undiagnosed diagnosis
this is YOUR battle, and youll have to be the one calling the shots…
i dont want to sound like an asshole or be mean, but you got to put your foot down and go all out on these fucks whatever means necessary. i feel like ur not really doing shit and just sobbing around letting them do what they want. take back ur power inside of you and make a goddamn pact with the baddest motherfuckers out there (umm Leviathan, Vine?) to fuck every son of a bitch eating you for breakfast lunch and dinner everyday
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Sorry child once somethings developed you can’t undeveloped it