JOURNAL 1- WHY AND HOW ?
I want to preface this by saying that this is my first ever pathworking that I started on, so if you are interested in a neophyte’s journey through what I think is (or I like to think) an untrodden path then it would be my pleasure to provide you with just that.
I would like to start this by clarifying what my intentions on this path are and what made me undertake it in the first place. If you haven’t seen my introductory post then allow me to present myself, my name is Alin, a youth from Romania who comes from a christian family, that always personally rooted for Mephistopheles and despised Faust. I always had an inclination towards the occult arts and the mythology, and ever since my christian days I was always riddled with questions on the nature of good and evil and why ‘‘plot holes’’ existed in what everyone around me considered the one true religion. A distinct spirit that always caught my eye and interest was the Light Bringer, altough due to my religious upbringing I always harbored a deep rooted fear for spirits that the church considered the corruptors of men, so I studied this path of demonology but never dared practice it. Instead I opted to study the ‘‘light side’’ so to speak, This mainly entailed alchemy (both psychological and practical) and hermeticism.
And while I studied those paths I ‘‘knew nothing’’, something a certain spirit would tell me later on. The breaking point in my path was the same with the one in my life in which I simply felt stuck and overwhelmed by the outside conditions that I soon learned where just a reflection of my mental one. I was battling this inner desire for a long time but one day I simply said to hell with it and stepped on my fear and did my first ever summoning of the Light Bringer. I was perplexed, a spirit I heard so many bad things about wasn’t at all what I would’ve expected (who would’ve thought ?). While my initial emotions while perfoming the summoning were of fear and dread the actual contact with him was anything but. His presence I can only describe as an overwhelming sun at the break of dawn and his actual persona altough authoratative and imposing respect carried also an air of witiness and almost trickster like energy. From him I learned that I was to undertake path specific of my own but that I only decyphered recently, in my last summoning of him where I was trying to justify my laziness on the good habits and attitude I needed to affirm at which he expressed that he hated nothing more than seeing someone waste away their own potential and gifts. In his words:
‘‘To know something doesn’t mean to simply understand it, true knowing can only come by doing, that is why you don’t know nothing’’
He gave me concrete rules such as daily meditation and affirming my true self on the outside world together with summoning him more frequently and that he will keep a close eye on my progress.
Truth is that I mainly started this path because I don’t want to hide who I’am from the world anymore and to learn how to love life and myself. A philosopher that is dear to my heart that kinda ‘‘opened my eyes’’ so to speak was Friedrich Nietzsche and his concepts of Amor Fati (Love of Fate) and the Will to Power, which meant the assertion of the individual on the outside world and nature, some times going with the flow of one instincts and some times overcoming his mental, spiritual and physical limitations.
The name of the path comes from two archetypal concepts I borrowed from Jungian Psychology, the trickster and lover are archetypes with which I relate to and want to embody on the path ahead of me. The trickster is a primal archetype that can be found in all cultures, he is both subhuman and superhuman, a master shapeshifter and a breaker of norms and boundary crosser, the lover on the other hand represents the human ideal of a romantic life and the affirmation of Amor Fati. Based on these two archetypes I will choose the spirits with which I’ll work with on this path.
This first chapter being called the Solar Trickster in honour of the two great spirits I will be an apprentice under, Phoebus Apollo and Lucifer The Light Bringer.
They both tie into the trickster motif altough still having a more structured approach to things which I think will be of great help on my road of becoming the person I know I can be and to lead a life I can take pride in.
I will try updating weekly regarding how it’s going on overrall and what I’am learning. I do not know why I wanted to write this on the website, since I’am already keeping a handbook on hand to log my experiences on, but something in my heart told me I should also put this here. Thank you for reading and please tell me what you think.
