I was in my ex-husbands house. For some reason he was not being his normal self to me. In my waking life yesterday I noted that he wouldn’t address me in court, and still nearly three months later the man will not even look at me when he picks up our children-He makes a point of parking where he will never look me in the face, and always has his face buried, quite obviously in his phone, until he believes I can no longer see. I realized as I walked up the stairs back to my apartment, after delivering the children to his vehicle, that he’s still butt-hurt, that I am not longer his. That to see me doing well and thriving without him, likely even pains him and reminds him of his loss, despite the fact that it was his own doing.
At any rate, I dreamed that I was in his home, but it wasn’t his current home. I’m actually not sure where it was, but he was babysitting several creatures for a female friend. I was curious, as I love animals and then I saw the big black snake. I immediately thought of @DarkestKnight 's encounter a few months ago with Damballah. I’m a little scared of snakes, so even though I knew what was about to happen, I was not thrilled that he quite literally dropped this snack around me, and told me to go let it outside for a time to get fresh air. I hurried towards the door, and through the garage, that now reminded me of my childhood home on Green Meadows, not even connecting that he’s so deathly afraid of snakes, that irl this summer, he had my son kill several of them, because he couldn’t. As I am quickly walking this snake is hissing and scaring me. But it’s not a normal snake sound, it is quite literally words. The snake keeps saying “Please stop touching me.” I get just outside the garage and I don’t want to just drop it on the concrete, afraid to hurt or anger it, but it lounges at the skin under my chin and bites me- forcing me to literally drop it on the concrete. As we neared the destination, the snake was no longer black, it was tan with diamonds.
I return inside, the bite not really hurting, but seeping a yellow, yet clear colored substance, that makes me immediately think of venom. I ask the ex-husband, if it was a poisonous snake, and even though I was most certain it was not, the ex-husband did not answer that question. Instead he talked about how the woman who owned the snake talked to it often and was trying to teach it words in our language. I was like well that’s strange, because the snake kept telling me to “Please put it down, it didn’t like me.” He confirmed that the first part, was indeed something the woman had been teaching the snake to say, and we discussed how I was surprised that I could understand the snake tongue to an extent, because even though it was our words, it was still spoken in snake. It confused me, yet it didn’t as I often am able to share thoughts back and forth with dogs.
I’m not sure how we ended up in the ex-husbands car, unless he was taking me home, but instead we ended up at the mall, walking into a very fancy restaurant. He led us to a table and was talking about how he just wanted a drink. One of the kids was clearly a bit sad, and I knew it was because they wished that there dad and I were still together. I told him to not be so sad, because look, mom keeps saying someday she hopes we can converse friendly, without being close like friends, but for your sake, and it does seem nice that that’s happened doesn’t it? Their dad immediately shifted, clearly put out that this was not going where he wanted it to. He pulled out a revolver and pointed it at me, upset. In the end I was holding the revolver, and instead of unloading it like I’d planned, I noted that it had a weird mechanism and battery system that very slowly engaged as it spun around to load the gun, then the batteries quite literally plugged themselves into the bottom of it. They looked like nothing more than double a batteries. I didn’t like holding it, as it had no safety and while it was putting itself together, it was difficult to determine where you were pointing it, or if you were pointing it at yourself even. I was even pretty sure that while it couldn’t be fired while it was loading itself, it would fire immediately after if the trigger had been pulled during the process.
We were still waiting for a waitress, and while the ex clearly wasn’t going to heed my dislike of this particular gun, and my fear that it was unsafe to have around our children, and particularly his girlfriends baby, he finally revealed we were just at the restaurant because he wanted a drink. I was like “Oh, well I don’t see anything in here, but I know these dream malls pretty well, if you walk out the main door here into the mall, there will be vending options to either the left or the right of the door, do you want me to go and double check though?” He declined and lumbered off towards the direction I had pointed out and me and the kids were left there alone waiting. After some time it became clear he’d left us, so we started searching for the parking lot we had been parked in, to see if he truly had left us, or if he’d just decided to go shopping.
After a while I realized we probably needed a way home, and I saw that there was a bus stop downstairs. The children and I walked down, to find that all the terminals, were covered in water, though it wasn’t deep we were going to get wet. I approached one of the gates and realized I didn’t have tickets, nor did I see where they were sold, so I asked if I could purchase the tickets there. The lady was really a downright jerk, telling me I was clearly dumb, no I could not. I said “Alright, where can I purchase tickets?” Her response was to tell me “In the store.” I took a deep breathe, “Mam, we are in a mall, that I have not bee in, for about 10 years, I’m familiar with public transit, just not this public transit and theres about 122 stores in the mall above me so, could you kindly, indicate which ones I might be able to purchase bus tickets from.” I didn’t get an answer the kids and I walked back up the stairs towards the mall and when we reached a waiting area, they sat down, so we could try to figure things out. I asked them to call dad, and tell him I needed help getting them home, because I was not sure what to do at this point. My son told me, that his dad had replied that I should look up L and L, a taxi service in a nearby town. I was a little annoyed, that he would expect me to be able to pay for a cab, when he dumped us.
A teen-aged girl walked up and sat down in a nearby seat, after swiping one of my bags, that had the Amtrak label. I turned to face her and pretty well told her how rude she was, and it was mine and I didn’t intend to be sitting here while she napped with my blanket. She clutched it tightly and repeated in a baby like pout filled voice about how she would use my blanket to take a nap. I snatched it out of her hands before she could open the pouch and told her exactly what I thought about her behavior. I was then approached by an adult, who explained that there were quite a few of them traveling through and they’d been watching me, impressed with how I handled things. I turned back to my children and asked them to once again please call dad, and ask him to come get us. The daughter got the same response, that my son had. I was quite annoyed but pulled up the app for the taxi company, and immediately noticed it looked like Uber. (Not an app I’ve used, so whether or not it really does look like uber I have no idea.) It was harder to navigate than Uber, and had moving images that quite literally showed where the drivers were in the local area. It was cartoon like images but they were still three dimensional. I didn’t like it at all, and if it wasn’t a legitimate taxi service, and it was all random for hire locals, I wasn’t sure that Uber wouldn’t be just as safe, and maybe even cheaper.
Somehow we ended up in the back of a taxi. There were two men sitting up front and one was in the back with us, I sat next to him, trying to figure out how I would get us from the place where they would drop us off to the ex-husbands. My apartment was within walking distance of the drop off, but the kids home was not. I finally realized I was quite literally taking all of the space from this guy and pressing him into the door of the taxi. I apologized and asked if I could pay them extra, to take me off the route and about 2 miles up the mountain. The one took a $5 and tossed it in the glove box, assuming that was roughly what I would pay extra and so that was theirs. The told me they used to do stuff like that, so no big deal. They pulled up near my apartment, and had us all get out. I told them this wasn’t the location and that it was up the mountain, but it wasn’t far, the first left and I was willing to pay. They said we’d have to walk then, and I was upset because if I could walk up the mountain with my asthma, I would have done that instead of agreeing to pay extra.
Suddenly I couldn’t find my kids, and I was alone. I walked up and down the street, looking and finally found the daughter, but she had no idea where her brother was. I heard a bunch of kids playing up a set of a stairs and opened the door and took a look inside. They were all younger than my son, but they were swinging across a big open hole, that seemed to go on endlessly. I had fits, at how unsafe it was and someone could die, scared that my son had fallen in and no one had noticed. I went back outside and found the taxi guys, well two of them. I made it clear that we had an agreement, and gosh they better help me figure out where my son was, before they found themselves implicated in kidnapping. I realized when I got into the taxi, that all of my things were gone. I wondered, why the hell I didn’t take my purse with me, that was just dumb, and the third taxi guy was missing… Then I was standing in a park like area, and the daughter was sitting on a bench, and the son showed up. He was all proud of himself and what he had been doing, though he apologized, he began talking about sexual acts and it feeling good and I was… angry, that he had worried me for a freaking girl.
I woke up, but soon fell back asleep, and was in the same area. I still had my kids, but I was no longer trying to get them home, and the town was still not laid out anything like it is. We were at a house and with a group of people. I’m not sure what was going on but there was essentially a bad group of people going around killing others. There was a man leading them, and I knew who it was. I ended up facing him several times, and while I wasn’t scared, I knew he would quite literally murder anyone in his path. I conversed with others and we finally decided we had to get in our cars and leave. I got my kids in an SUV, that had the keys in it and followed a lady, around a circle drive and then a back road, that would lead us into town, that was supposedly a secret way. I recognized the street we were merging onto then, despite it being significantly different from how it really is.
I wondered how we had ended up 20 miles away in such a short drive, but then it was my turn to merge. I merged too wide and was in a McDonald’s lane, instead of the road. I was going back towards the road since it was clear, when I realized I was hungry. I asked the kids if they were, and told them I was going to get a chocolate milkshake, something I never do, but asked if they wanted one as well. The daughter told me she only wanted French fries, so I went through a list of things, making sure she really didn’t want any of them and she added chicken nuggets to it. The son only wanted French fries, even after I went through the list to double check. I ordered our food and then we were standing there waiting at the window, instead of in the car. She handed me the milkshake and a few things, but we had to wait on the rest. The scene shifted so that we were inside, but it was still a take out style window. The young woman behind the counter was cleaning things and said something about she’d check the food, as she prefers to cook it till she knows it’s good, and not follow the timer. She did call out that the timer still had 3 minutes and 58 seconds to go. I saw a bag of food sitting on the back of a couch nearby, behind the counter. I knew it was probably ours, and that the lady had forgotten since, we had only received my milkshake.
The counter was then littered with trash and I saw a strawberry milkshake, that had been untouched, but forgotten. I asked if either kid wanted it and the daughter was like “really mom, you’re going to take random food, when you don’t know who touched it or what germs might be on it…” I explained that I could tell it hadn’t been touched and braced myself for her to ask me how I knew, as explaining that I could feel there was no one’s energy on it, was probably not going to go well. Instead I realized I was back in the little community area, where the killer was on the loose. But I was on our side of the house, and not the bad guys. I had Styrofoam containers of food for the bad guys, which I took to the fridge, which was right next to the door, that led into their half of the house. I put the food in, knowing when they saw it, they would know we were here. I didn’t want them to be hungry, but knew as soon as I did this, we had to get back in the car and actually leave.
I slammed the fridge shut. Wtf I didn’t mean to do that, but it was like something took hold of my arm and I quite literally slammed the fridge door as hard as I could. I opened it again, to put in the last of the food… hoping that they weren’t here, to hear the door slam. I slammed it again and the door to the other side opened. The lead murder was coming at me and followed by two others. I ran out and yelled to my kids, and the few remaining people around to run. I’d made the same mistake the first person had earlier, which had drawn their attention to us, and now there was no avoiding them. I tried to make it to the car, but knew as soon as I saw it, even if I got in and locked the doors fast, I didn’t have a chance of escaping. I told the kids to run and hide. I was then standing next to the murderous guy, looking at a rack of tools, and trying to find some sort of blade to kill him with. He was literally right next to me. My son pointed out a small blade, but for some reason I picked up the first one that had caught my eye instead, despite it being smaller than the one my son pointed out. It looked like a blade for a skill saw. I turned and stabbed the man. He was still coming after me though, and chased me.
The man never actually hurt me, though he tried. We went in circles, with me stabbing him, certain with my medical knowledge I had hit his heart with the first stab, but somehow, instead of dying he kept coming after me. I knew that if he caught me, I knew I would die. So I kept stabbing. Finally I had blood spurt all over me and my hands were slick with it, and the blade was as well. He went into some sort of berserk mode though, and instead of become weaker, he was suddenly stronger, and the pain from the wounds I had inflicted, no longer affected him at all. He didn’t feel it. I knew he was even more dangerous than before, and ended up tackling him, and somehow brining him to the ground.
Naturally he was taunting me the entire time. There was a revolver nearby and he picked it up and made a taunting claim about how he could just me with it. I snatched it and put it out of his reach. Suddenly, I was on top of a woman, and not a man. I held onto his hands and tried to figure out where to stab this guy to kill him. I was certain I’d hit his heart several times, I felt like I was looking at his true form, that of a woman, despite the fact in my mind it was still pretty much a guy to me. It never crossed my mind to try to shoot him, but it did cross my mind to keep everything dangerous out of his reach. Now that he was a woman, wearing nothing more than a very thin see-through white nightgown, I even tried stabbing him in his girly parts. I was worried that when the police came they were going to think I was a vicious murderer, that just kept on stabbing out of anger or hate or rage, but I knew the truth was, as long as this man lived, people were going to die.
The man smiled and told me how it turned him on when I stabbed him down there. In my mind I was thinking about how perverse that was, though I wondered if he meant it or was just trying to goad me. I finally realized there was only way to get rid of this man. I had to slit his throat. The idea was appalling, but I’d already stabbed his stomach and his vital organs and yet he lived and if I wasn’t holding him down, he’d still be killing. I made the decision and moved my blade to do so, wondering if I had the strength, would I be able to do what I had to do, or would I just die like the rest. The man seemed to know what I was about to do, and for a minute, he tucked his chin to try to prevent it. I held the blade to his neck and looked him in the eye.
I knew then, he wanted to die. He was fighting, but he was letting me win. I had no idea why, but I sawed, somewhat gently at this throat, knowing once I hit the jugular, it would be over soon. At first it seemed like I was just sawing into skin, and despite the fact I was killing the man, I didn’t want it to be anymore painful than it had to be. I pressed a little harder and finally saw blood seeping out of the wound I had made. He told me he could feel it then, I had done it and the life force was seeping out of him. I knew this to be true, but still held him down to be sure he wouldn’t try for one final blow. The blood didn’t spurt, like it normally does with a wound to an artery- spurting with each heart beat. Instead, it just seeped and I held the mans hands, much more tenderly. I knew he would be gone soon, but it struck me, that he and I were not really that different.
I told him about how we were kinda like best friends. He seemed puzzled and I said think about it. We are completely opposite, yet we’ve been in this fight against each other all along. We knew each other so well, that we could have been the best of friends. He told me that he would live on within me, and give me power. I kept seeing a beautiful blond girl’s face in front of me, instead of the man dying in a woman’s body below me. He told me that I was right we could have been best friends, except for one thing. I remember him telling me that one thing, and it was a surprising thing, as it was something I’ve done on occasion, but not often and I don’t think he understood the reasons when I had done it. I just maintained that well, we are all human while we are here, aren’t we? I knew then that he was gone, and I woke up, unable to remember what that one thing was.
Surprised me as it’s been a few years since it happened.
