I’m making pretty solid progress on step 1. On some days, I satisfy the goal, and my mind is empty for almost the entire time. Sometimes it’s a bit more active.
If a thought does pop up while I’m practicing, it doesn’t derail my point of focus usually, it’s extinguished immediately. All in all I seem to be doing fine.
I’ve noticed that a thought isn’t necessarily an image or thought word. I can’t really describe it but there’s phenomena at a more subtle level than easily visible thoughts. When I’m aware I can perceive the more subtle thoughts. If I think of a spoon I don’t have to think of the word spoon or an image of a spoon. I can lock onto just a spoon. I guess it’s like the concept behind that.
Recently I have been working with revision a bit as well. I find that there’s tons of painful memories that I let live in my mind. They often resurface when I think about associated things.
I just revised some memories that have plagued me for years, and my it’s like I’ve shed some chains, at least in that aspect of my life.
With smaller memories one session of revision is enough for me to forget about them, I know I revised something but I don’t really know what happened.
I imagine the effects would be very strong if I were to work through my whole life.
I’ve totally neglected to update here. I’ve been on step 1 for around 7ish months now. I do meditate almost every day but I find that I’ve been unable to put my best effort into it because of various life circumstances. I don’t feel very spiritually attuned.
Well… anyways, I want to record some random notes that are a bit overdue.
The Five-Phase Routine
At some point I intend to more seriously take up a normal energy work practice. With that in mind I was studying qigong a bit. I found Anthony Korahais’ five-phase routine and tried it out. I was pleasantly surprised. Mainly of Flowing Breeze Swaying Willow or whatever it was called. The gist of the routine is normal qigong poses followed by standing in a relaxed fashion and allowing yourself to move with the flow of energy. The energy then moves to where it’s supposed to go. Pretty cool.
Success + Hypotheses:
Recently I looped some SATS scenes and did a ritual from Archangels of Magick to find good housing for my roommates and I for the next school year. It went well and we signed for a house that’s pretty much ideal.
After this I can’t help but feel that the Gallery of Magick stuff is a bit OP. I haven’t bumped into the corner of a table or stubbed my toe since doing the Master Protection Ritual and it’s been almost 3 years. That raises the question: is it OP because I feel that way or because it actually has some value outside of my belief? So far I do have an idea.
There are various levels of beliefs that we possess, some are much more deeply rooted than others. Like gravity and physics for instance. You may not consciously belief in them, but they were part of your default state that your mind spawned into so you take them for granted. In this line of thinking I believe that energy and spirits are more malleable than these universal laws, they are more susceptible to your beliefs. This is especially true for energy as you control it with your intention.
This means that the Gallery of Magick stuff could have intrinsic power, at least in the way that it is externalized by core beliefs. This is all a hypothesis though. I really don’t have enough experience with the law to say anything definitive.
Revision
I really keep sleeping on revision. It’s perfect for so many things. Minor injuries, social mishaps, etc. I can understand why Neville said that you should revise every day.
Revision:
I’ve been working through certain memories that I want to revise. A while back (a few months ago) I closed the door on one set and considered it finished but it’s continued to bother me, but there was pain associated with different core images than before.
Clearly the pain and blockages were still there, so I approached the different memories and cleaned them up. I decided to do a cord cutting with the sword angels doing the actual cutting of the cords.
The ritual felt very effective. At this point I just have to mop up some smaller core images that come up, and maybe do repeated sessions on certain things.
Chains:
Observing the memories I revised from today’s perspective it’s easy to notice that they have been a subconscious influence for a long time. Dealing with them and releasing my trauma is an important part of character development.
As I slowly work through this book I have continued experimenting with energy work.
I’ve been etching out a path that mixes the systems I want to use. Over the years my skill with tactile imaging have improved a lot, especially since I understand the idea of using intent, not force.
I like to mix practice with some gentle qigong poses. After a while of this I might try to seriously work on chakras. My root could definitely use work.
I’ve been reading a lot of xianxia lately so I can’t help but wonder if powerful cultivators ever existed in the past. Is it even possible to train your energy body to that level within a normal lifespan? If they exist today they’re definitely in hiding.
On a different note lately I succeeded in vampirizing someone from a distance. My goal is to build a strong link with them, and see how much I can even take.
Merkabah
Apparently you can activate the merkabah a bit through the plank technique. You have to spin two of them in the opposite direction. I felt a similar sensation to the merkabah meditation from this.
Merkabah meditation is probably up there in my list of op techniques with kriya supreme fire and the 9 breath method. It always has a significant energy effect. It’s something to mess with more.
Struggle
IIH is hard… I’ve been on step 1 for 9 months now. I feel that I’ve been pretty passive about it though, and haven’t exactly used all the tools for success. The positives is that I now meditate pretty much everyday.
Over the last school year, my motivation declined, and I’ve done practice just out of routine. Moreover, my energy for life also declined. I never thought there would be a time where I would actually think shit like “I don’t care about living past 30”.
The villain here is environment and mental diet. I guess I have to deal with my screen addiction.
It’s impossible not to notice the effects of the dopamine heavy entertainment provided by video games and YouTube / TikTok. They need to be kept in moderation.
Ultimately these 9 months weren’t a waste, I learned my lesson.
On a related note, I read the books about IIH by Virgil. They were very helpful, but after this I’m not going to read any other IIH related books unless Bardon comes back to life and writes a revised edition of IIH.
I believe that one day I’ll look back on these formative days in a positive light. Although whatever eldritch monstrosity I become may not be capable of looking back.
The more I learn about magick, the more I find that all is placebo.
“It’s all in the mind”
You can take this as positive or negative.
To quote Lon Milo Duquette, a well known traditional magician: “It is all in your head…you just have no idea how big your head really is.”
Don’t mistake the enormity of magick for the simplicity of the placebo effect. The Hermetic axiom “All is Mind” does not refer to the mortal human mind which perishes upon death, but to the immortal consciousness, from which all thought springs forth.
I was not referring to the hermetic principle, but i was referring to a poem by Walter D. Wintle. Placebo is really not simple, to consciously cause placebo is almost as hard as consciously manifesting in the blink of an eye. You create your own magick, you create your own placebo. About the last part, i’m not really sure if the mind is not the consciousness itself.
You create your own laws, your own world, you are your own sculptor.
The river of time flows on. I picked up a new set of physical journals. Practice went well. I performed revision afterwards.
It would be very nice to make some in person spiritual friends.
I already know I’m able to manifest people of various specifications coming into my life, I did it a while ago. I guess there’s no excuse. I’ll add it to the to-do list.
As a final note, I’m going to pick up a physical copy of this book soon.
Did meditation, conscious breathing, eating, etc.
Worked with Uiazel’s sigil for mindfulness. I did his pathworking later and had a very intense experience.
I had a dream last night about a romance with a girl. I don’t usually attribute much meaning to dreams but I think she might be a recurring character. I’ve never seen them in real life as far as I can tell.
I’m working on the third exercise of step 1 mental. It can be divided into two stages of mastery, which aren’t mutually exclusive.
First, holding attention on my chosen thought for 10 minutes. I can hold for around 4 minutes right now, however there are other thoughts that occur in the background, they don’t break my focus though.
Secondly, holding attention on a single thought, with no interruption. I can do this for 30 seconds.
I really struggle to meditate without controlling my breathing. In certain sessions it becomes automatic, but I think it would help to pick up a rhythm like the 4-fold breath I can do automatically.
Have you seen results from the conscious eating and breathing?
Yes it’s been helpful. They are both super versatile and can be used for pretty much anything.
Yes I am still on step 1.
My recent discovery of releasing has improved my practice so much, with it I now see a much clearer path through steps 1 and 2. So far I find that the more negative feelings / junk I remove the clearer my mind gets.
I’m able to keep my attention on one thought at exclusion of all else for about a minute now.
The essence of thought:
I learned some time ago that there is something at the core of a thought, something from which the thought emanated from. Now I would consider it to be the feeling, the mental state / pattern.
If I zero in on the feeling that generates a thought-train I am able to release it. This works very well for songs that end up playing in the background of the mind, I often struggled to release them before.
Kudos for sticking to the path for such a long time. I tried IIH too and also stuck to it for some months, however in the end my perfectionism made it hard for me to accept that theres so much work to be done.
Very interesting revelation about the essence of thought you shared there. Its interesting because you said you can release the thought by zeroing in on the feeling/emotion. The same is done in psychotherapy where the client is asked to precisely name the feeling thats bothering them.
My meditation has improved a bit recently. I reached the first stage of mastery of the 3rd exercise, being able to keep my focus on a single thought without being completely sidetracked for several minutes.
I progressed on the second stage of mastery as well. I can keep my attention entirely on a single thought at exclusion of all else for around 2 minutes now.