I waited it out, she forgot what she wanted to say 
1 Like
Lol.
1 Like
What?
There’s this tailor who’s probably in his late 30s and he tries to flirt with me. He doesn’t do it with my sister because she has a more aggressive vibe to her compared to me.
2 Likes
8/8! (2021)
19:10
I didn’t do any mundane stuff today. I didn’t want to. So I didn’t. I wanted to rest. I don’t like telling people I’m resting, because then they start giving me work and I’m forced to stay longer than I wish to.
9:08am:
Really excited for today. I don’t feel like doing anything mundane. Alas! I’m still human at the end of the day, and I’m in this plane.
The word “bruh 
” comes to mind. Emoji included. Last night my sister and I were talking, and she mentioned that if our parents said no to who she wanted to marry she won’t marry. She would be willing to give up on love because our parents said no. I, on the other hand, told her quite strongly that even though our parents are our parents it’s her life and that she should never bend to anyone. She should live her life the way she wants it. I felt in my belly, literally I felt like I was vibrating those words and it filled me with a weird buzzing of energy. I really felt lord Belial’s “no master” association. Along with E.A’s shirt which says “No gods, no masters”. It’s making sense now.
Anyways, I opened whatsapp and was looking at the status(es) and my sister had this meme which exactly describes our conversation last night with a caption “parents always comes first”. I bark-laughed.
For someone who complains about our parents and says she doesn’t like them she’s…lying to herself imo. Feeding into the very thing that binds you, why do that?
It confuses me. Why do you lie to yourself? Don’t upload statuses for me to read, man up and talk to me directly. I strongly stand with my beliefs, but I draw the line where I’ll be blatantly lying to myself and my heart. I worked hard to be where I am emotionally and I will not let it go down the drain because the way I want to live life doesn’t suit your ideas.
I am the creator of what’s around me, and I set the borders and the gates of what’s allowed while having an open mind for discussion. Some will be rebuilt, some will be upgraded. It is what it is.
At 7pm, I’m exhausted. I’ve had some moments which made me angry, and some that made me angry enough to laugh. I’ve been feeling irritated, and I only want time to myself. I don’t wish to stay here anymore. I want to go someplace else, I want to grow, I want distance.
MOTD:
Ticked off everything today! Started scripting, did spells.
I did a reading for myself with Lord Belial. I initially couldn’t feel anything. Then I brought out the picture of his sigil which I had downloaded and opened. It felt like a thick, heavy blanket was thrown at me! Really awesome!
I have trouble feeling/sensing Azazel. I asked a friend to scan and was able to recieve some messages from him. Listened to this (he told me to):
Then meditated with his enn:
I found myself standing in a dark room. Above me, a singular light. I saw Azazel walk in and stand in front of me, before walking back to the darkness. At that moment, I felt like the 9 gatekeepers had appeared. I didn’t see them, but I felt surrounded and like I was being observed. It transitioned to a vision of a candle. The flame was me (the light above me, me in it) and the perimeter of the wax the gatekeepers.
It was a white candle, and then I found myself sitting at a table. The candle in a long, fancy stand and Azazel sitting opposite to me, his hand on his chin. Then he got up and pulled something from my throat. I didn’t feel pain, but it felt like a block, something heavy in my throat in real life. It was very dark in color. Then he took out a golden orb.
That golden orb was something Lucifer had given me the first time I met him in my dream (I had swallowed it, indirectly. It just went down my throat because in that dream he had kissed me). (I was paranoid about this because I had never heard of anyone having an experience like this, and I’ve made peace with it to be able to write it here publicly. I still don’t know what it is, but it never hurt me). Then Azazel took out something that looked like a dark web.
I felt tired after this, and very sleepy. My throat had phlegm, and my nose felt open like it would after a cold.
I’m still having a little trouble connecting to him, but it’s better.
I conversed with King Paimon.
Today’s dinner is dosa. I hope everyone who reads this has a good day!
-
3 Likes
Wow. Just wow what an amazing post. That’s awesome. I know it’s tough but it shows such strength of character and willpower that you did that!
1 Like
Thank you 
1 Like
Song that I enjoy (and probably Azazel does too because I sense him around when it plays)
Another one:
Rock and electro? Idk what Artpop’s genre is 
1 Like
9th August, 2021
19:11
Today is a good day. A really good day. Enough to make me temporarily forget about my mother. Good fucking day.
I did a test! Halfway honest but I! Did! It! I was about to give up at a point but both Azazel and Lord Belial came through and pushed me to at least read through the questions before I decide I won’t be able to do it.
A very very happy incident also happened ^^
MOTD:
Meditated with King Paimon’s enn in the afternoon. I tried to astral project, but I couldn’t focus so I got frustrated.
Did a reading with Azazel and talked to him for a good twenty minutes or so. I formally opened his sigil because really, opening it with half eyes open is both half-asssed and he deserves much more respect than that.
He also told me this today morning (while I was having breakfast. We started eating eggs for protein and I don’t like the texture at all) It distracted me enough to finish it so I’m extremely grateful for it.
What he taught me last time here:
I wanted to talk to Lord Belial. I’m still developing communication with him. It’s not that I’m having a hard time, but it’s a little bit difficult as I go blank whenever I go to talk to him.
Today’s dinner is Vada Pav 
I hope everyone who reads this has a good day!
-
3 Likes
10th August, 2021
18:51
Didn’t study much. Forgot I had class.
MOTD:
Today I was thinking about how I approached Lord Belial. I was told that he is/would be, my patron. So I already had it in my mind along with the intention of moving ahead in my journey and break free from my self sabotaging tendencies. It’s not ‘Lord Belial, a spirit I work with’ it is ‘Lord Belial, maybe my patron one day?’. His energy is definitely intense, but it feels more like a heavy blanket than it feels chaotic? Or world-shaky? I don’t really know how to describe it And really, the only reason I went for a darker Raven with her hoodie in my profile picture is because I heard he likes hoodies, and because I can’t wear a hoodie right now, I thought- why not honor him this way?
(I do love hoodies though)
I’ve only occasionally felt his energy, but I have not seem him enough times (or fully) to understand his form with me.
I did a higher self invocation meditation, when I was feeling a little low and wanted to do something :
And asked a friend to scan me, where I was told that apparently a parasite tried to attack me but my defenses evaded it. It clicked because I felt like my energy was sucked out after I went out for an errand in the morning. And then my nailpolish which was charmed for protection also chipped.
Which witch atrracted a parasite? And it latched on to me?! I was honestly dissapointed, I was having a good time just vibing with myself and boom, parasite.
Anyways, I banished. I called Michael, banished again. I invoked Lucifer, and called Michael for setting up the final wards. Got it scanned by a friend and he mentioned presence of Azazel’s energy as well.
Shout-out to @Twilight_Dragon , thank you bro you helped me a lot today.
Lucifer had told me a few days ago to watch this video:
I saw it yesterday, but was too excited to write it. The video explained a lot of observations I had. Working with deities, especially Infernals, has really brought about some physical changes.
My metabolism has increased and so has my apetite, I’m eating healthier, the (although short) days I spent in gym also are showing- my arm muscles have gained definition. And my jawline too, is getting more defined. I feel attractive, and I feel badass.
I did a reading with Lord Belial. In the book I refer to for tarot, for the four of wands in reverse it says- “what you resist, persists” and I felt it was very much in tune with him.
I got frustrated after a few minutes. I couldn’t understand the cards or the message, I had talked to Azazel and I couldn’t understand him either. I have trouble understanding and discerning Lord Belial’s messages. Before I spiralled even more I took a break and talked to my friends.
I meditated with King Paimon’s enn today. I feel that the time of him going is coming closer. His presence is not as strong anymore, and I feel like a chapter is coming to close. When the day comes, whenever it does, I will make a post about my experience with him. It always helps to read about other people’s experience.
The invocation I did of Lucifer was a very informal? one. I didn’t have any candles with me. I placed the imposter/parasite killing/preventing seal from this forum, chanted his enn till I felt his presence and went on autopilot.
Today’s dinner is aloo curry and roti. I hope everyone who reads this has a good day!
-
4 Likes
11th August, 2021
18:28
Tried studying, didn’t work.
MOTD:
I got the Anthology of Sorcery book on Kindle. My goal is to make notes as I go so I can remove it from the library soon (the device is mine, but the account is my mum’s). I really don’t care if she does see it, but if I can save myself some questions I will.
I didn’t talk much with Azazel today. I did check in with him though.
I was about to do a reading with King Paimon and Lucifer but it got delayed, so I’ll be doing it sometime after I finish this post.
I meditated with Lord Belial’s enn today:
I went into a trance fairly quickly, and I believe I got partially possessed as well. I remember speaking some other language in whispers. It had a lot of “sh” sounds, but I was having difficulty in shaping my mouth to speak it so it changed to English (I use both English and Hindi while working and talking with spirits, majorly English because it feels formal to me. I tend to stammer a lot more with Hindi too).
Before that stage though, I had a vision of me sitting on the floor. I was sad, I felt sad and like I was crying. Lord Belial appeared before me and stretched out his hand. I didn’t take it at first, but he nodded in assurance and pulled me up. He walked in front of me, and I could feel fatherly love from him. It was…it was nice. It felt very fatherly, it really did.
Then we were in front of a door which I had to enter. I was scared, I didn’t want to do it, but it was necessary. Lord Belial nugded me towards the door. More than hearing I felt him say that he’s right there, and that I’m safe. Then I walked into the room and the door shut. It was dark, and that’s when the possession thing happened.
I also growled out of the blue today. I didn’t even think of growling, it just happened. It didn’t hurt my throat but it was a weird experience.
Interesting and amazing experiences with Lord Belial today.
I don’t like today’s dinner, at all. But it’s healthy so I eat (and because I don’t wanna get whooped). I hope everyone who reads this has a good day!
-
3 Likes
I! Found! It!
I understand what happened now! I want to yell “Eureka!”
2 Likes
12th August 2021
21:46
Eh, didn’t do much today. Getting my second dose of the vaccine tomorrow so I’ll take the opportunity and sleep XD
Did an astral projection guided meditation by Satan and Sons which incorporates Azazel. I did feel my energy body but I came back and sobbed. Didn’t really sob, didn’t really cry but the feeling was very fucking overwhelming. The only reason I didn’t cry was because my sister was in the room and I…I really don’t wish to explain why.
norse900 gave me some tips. The next time I’ll follow through it and keep going till I learn how to do it.
Did a reading with Lord Belial. It’s interesting to work with him. I don’t understand the cards till after the reading is over, or after a few days. Might be that I’m still learning tarot.
I also got some messages from Lucifer today.
Today my family was talking about money, and it’s relation to power. I felt Lord Belial’s presence during the discussion was going on. I didn’t actively participate, I was playing Solitaire on my sister’s ipad (I won today’s game, 11 minutes seem to be consistent with how long it takes me to finish).
My mum mentioned that people go after money to get respect from the family, “family”, and for power. I mean, sure people with money have influence but if you need to have money to have your “family’s” respect then why do you even have them as family? I believe family is built on mutual love, support and trust. And by love I mean actual, familial love and not being a bunch of enablers who’re too timid to say that no, sharma ji, they’re not doing good.
I expressed my opinion which was “why care about those who only care about you and not money?” but no, I’m too young to understand.
Not young enough to not see the thing you keep repeating though. It’s like giving someone something and expecting it to be returned. It won’t, and will never be returned. You wanna give, give because you want to, not because you expect something in return.
(Sharma ji is a Karen equivalent, it’s used as a slang?. No offense meant to actual Sharma jis reading this.)
People give up their power so easily. And that’s when I understood why humanity needs more time.
Anyways, today’s dinner was roti and aloo patal bhujia with salad. I hope everyone who reads this has a good day!
-
6 Likes
August 13th
18:04
Git vaccinated, today I will rest. I dreamt during my afternoon nap but I don’t recall it. I’m tried.
Ever since I started working with Lord Belial a family member’s gaslighting tendencies and victim mentality are becoming even more visible. I’m starting to feel cold and almost sadistic towards them, I haven’t taken any steps. I just want there to be distance and for them to stop unloading their emotions onto me before even seeing or understanding that I’m in no place to handle it.
I have said no, they don’t listen.
I just want some time alone from everybody and be with myself.
Today’s dinner is roti and curry. I hope everyone who reads this has a good day.
1 Like
August 14th, 2021
19:09
Today I’m grateful that my hair isn’t falling off in chunks and for Hades.
1 Like
On August 16th for August 15th, 2021
7:35
I didn’t post yesterday because I ran out of data early morning (idk how). My fever got better and now I’m back to normal. I reached the final deadline for the writing event yesterday, and the only thing left now is the ending and editing. It’s been a good, long 6 months.
Yesterday I did a reading with Lord Belial, and he told me to do it with Azazel too. I should’ve written it down or at least taken a picture, because now I can’t remember shit.
I alternate, if I do a reading with one I meditate with the other. So yesterday I followed and meditated with Azazel. I continue practicing with the astral release meditation so that I can understand how the “release” is happening. I got badly distracted at the 20 minute mark, by both my sister’s voice from the other room, the dogs and the extremely loud vehicle outside my house. I got very angry and frustrated, I really did. I was understanding it.
Azazel told me to take a break and that it’s fine if I end my meditation for the day. But I wanted to try again (a different meditation) so I calmed down to try again. He still told me not to, but I was stubborn so he let me do it (although the video was buffering very bad). I fell asleep at 10 minutes, but hey it was a pretty strong nap I wasn’t feeling too shitty anymore.
I had contacted Tzadkiel a few days ago, and received some insight right now.
I will update today’s journal at the usual time.
3 Likes
You’re doing really well. Keep going and you’ll be able to look back at time well spent❤
1 Like
Thank you! My data is fucking up, it’s 50% over again 
I literally only catched up with some threads and played spotify.
1 Like
Wtf. Call your isp?
I’ll have to😭 I planned to do some tests and I had class today too!
1 Like