i think this is simply a matter of you caring too much about the result. The lust for result can kill your magick, which is why getting an ex back is a particularly hard thing for a lot of occultists to do. You seem extremely desperate to get this guy back…perhaps to the point of being impatient…tapping your feet daily, questioning why your spell hasnt worked yet. I mean, you even said so yourself.
You already know what the problem and solution is. Remove your lust to see the result…and be okay with the idea of never hooking up with him ever again. The moment you do is when the spell will take affect