2-19-2018
Mental notes: Spirits are out of my mind for now I guess. Now I think of those who have turned my life Upside down, possibly infected me intentionally with a terminal disease, those who needlessly obstructed relationships, who stole from me and generally caused bad luck with intent for me to be homeless and left for dead while smiling or being two faced.
Cursed … Apparent, isn’t it … Who oh who would do such a thing.
Oh tarot …
Oh … That djinn book … If only I knew how to extract the sigils from an imperfect (odd numbered) square. This is an option as well as other grimoires of mine.
Celtic Cross, DQCM
"Who has cursed me?"
Significator - Prince of Cups - Air of Water - Prince of the Chariot of the Waters - 20’ Libra to 20’ Scorpio - Intense Force
Covers - Five of Disks - Lord of Material Trouble - Mercury in 10’-20’ Taurus -
Angrls: Aniel, Haamiah - Demons: Samigina, Raum
Crosses - Seven of Swords - Lord of Unstable Effort - Luna in 20’-30’ Aquarius - Angels: Hahahel, Michael - Demons: Gaap, Decarabia
Crowns - Eight of Swords - Lord of Shortened Force - Jupiter in 0’-10’ Gemini - Angels: Umabel, Iahhel - Demons: Amon, Sabnock
Beneath - Three of Disks - Lord of Material Works - Mars in 10’-20’ Capricorn - Angels: Iehuiah, Lehahiah - Demons: Astaroth, Andrealphus
Behind - II - High Priestess - Priestess of the Silver Star - Luna
Before - VIII/XI - Strength/Lust - Daughter of the Flaming Sword - Leo
Querent - Three of Cups - Lord of Abundance - Mercury in 10’-20’ Cancer - Angels: Rochel, Iibamiah - Demons - Gusion, Vual
Environment - Seven of Disks - Lord of Success Unfulfilled - Saturn in 20’-30’ Taurus - Angels: Harahel, Mizrael - Demons: Valefor, Vepar
Hopes and Fears - Six of Disks - Lord of Victory - Jupiter in 10’-20’ Leo - Angels: Nemamiah, Ieilael - Demons: Marbas, Focalor
Final Outcome - XIII - Death - Children of the Great Transformers; Lord of the Gate of Death - Scorpio
Shadow - XVIII - Moon - Ruler of Flux and Reflux; Child of the Sons of the Mighty - Pisces
G, T, N, Q or Q, N, T, G.
I know a TG, and had a dream of this now recollected. Also heard Quinn before.
Barking dogs and screaming kids oh.my.
2-20
Hopped back on the magic bus last night, doing ritual for RE3 by invoking Sastan.
Today am reading and practicing OAA lessons 1-3, Modern Magick 2/7, 3/8; and 4/9. Also Osiris Scroll 1/1 and 2/2.
Goal - 6-9 months to adept.
Need to heavily learn energy and visualization work.
Need to do rituals day and night, as perfect as possible.
Just did Helios summoning, and birds chanted along with me, Ra now in full midday might.
Okay … Switch to Osiris Scroll…
Ten gates of Osiris, and eleven doors of Anubis. 21, three weeks.
First Gate … Death of the Physical Life
The demon says…
“You cannot enter this Gate unless you can tell me my name”
“I call you Mistress of Trembling, Defender of High Wall, Lady of Destruction, the one who proclaims words which repel storms
You are the one who rescued me, the Plundered One. I know the name of Your Gatekeeper and it is ‘Terror for he is Neruit.’”
The demon speaks…
“To go further on this path you must die. The old ways no longer work, the old body will not be fit for new life. There is no use for what you think you know, for the views you hold onto the hardest will bruise your hands as they are torn from you. Look upon your future with Terror, for it will be unknown territory. Are you ready to walk the path of fear, terror and darkness?
All fears have me at their root, yet I am that which pulls you from matter and stops you from being trapped. Before Osiris can be reborn, he must first die, and be dismembered. Undergoing this process will shatter everything which has bound you. When you enter my door, you are pledging that you will no longer live your life in the same way.”
Goddess Nekbet says…
“I shall keep you healthy in your flesh and your bones.
I shall protect you and I shall look after you.
I shall be between you and any sickness.
I shall grant you life, health, and a great and goodly old age.
I shall cause your eyes to see;
I shall cause your ears to hear;
I shall cause your strength to flourish.
I shall open your mouth to eat and
I shall cause your mouth to drink.
I shall cause you to eat in order to live and
I shall cause you to drink in order to be healthy.
I shall cause you to be completely satisfied with a happy life on earth.”
Second Gate … Death of the Passions
Third Gate … Death of Identity
Now Modern Magick Chaps 2-3/7-8, then OAA fist flame finished and onto second.
2-20-18 9:40
(Had mentally been calling enn and explaining/apologizing - all dogs bark up a storm)
40 min evocation/invocation of King belial
Lantern - two yellow candles
Pentacle - sigil & 6 pennies
Censer - free burning frankincense
Notebook and pen
Recited enn multiple times
Renich tasa
Vefa welhc
King Belial
Apologized
Explained myself
Flames high, smoke swirling.
Christian roommate came outside and held a conversation with me from 10:00-10:20
Incense had gone out, had a cigarette
10:30 license to depart (have to be up at 5:30)
Said prayer to King Belial.
Reflections -
Cord of Nine, fourth is King Belial.
Except for a mountain, everything in the earth moves.
Necromancy, mundane, Lycanthropy, Vampirism, Cursing.
1/21/2018
I will continue to work with Belial for the month. Found out some very interesting things about him last night.
After my ritual I was told by my roommate that this guy wanted me to paint onsite where he works.
Went to bed at 1 this morning because I couldn’t find my phone charger. Woke up at 4 and had to leave the house at 5:30, we picked up a fellow electrician on the way.
We get there, I help the electricians and then was told to chill and wait for the construction manager since I was supposed to paint.
I’m sitting there chilling, and see this sign that mentions patience. Then guns and roses is playing patience on the radio.
I’m looking at the electricians that are in these high climbers called SkyJacks, pitting lamp arrays up on the ceiling of this rock climbing place were doing work for.
I sit there and think about what one of the kings said about fear, flesh and spirit and empires (not necessarily the same king).
I don’t know how many people are familiar with Qabalah, but in addition to the sphere name, there is a keyword.
Malkuth - Kingdom
Yesod - Foundation
Hod - Glory
Netzach - Victory
Tiphareth Beauty
And so on up to Kether the Crown.
So…
Imagine a new construction site.
What comes first?
At first I thought the building frame, but someone tells me internally to think more.
Paving the earth/tilling the earth. Hallowed ground?
Masons lay the concrete foundation.
The builders frame.
Then everyone else builds on up to this fantastic inner temple/empire.
Interesting.
Work in itself has absolute value.
Because I worked my ass off, I was told to take better care of myself and show up at Nine tomorrow.
Until then, I was unhammering a pallet of wood for the carpenters, carrying heavy ass panes of glass.
Then I got home.
2-21
Chill in with King Belial
Lit a gold candle atop the armoire, called out enn
Saw shadows move behind the four and to my left as a window reflection of moving branches.
I told him why I did what I did and told him about my thoughts today.
Talked about how I understand flesh and spirit are one, no fear, no stress
Get busy living or get busy dying.
Petty wants of ego vs needs
Saw a golden orb behind and to left of gold candle.
Saw flame split I’m two, and said I see the two angels in the chariot of fire. The flame grew bright and high
Saw two eyes behind the candle.
Promised courtesy, to be a good host and offerings.
Realized I had to wrap it up and not to waste His precious time, said I must go, you are welcome to stay or leave.
Okay, back to my reading list before bedtime as I have to put in actual work tomorrow. Then back home to commune with Belial again. So guess I’m on my own.
2-22-2018
Great going James. Just because you wanted a teacher that has walked miles in your shoes, you’ve alienated yourself and made yourself an even bigger outcast and huge target.
Well, you can’t please everyone, not even teachers.
Aight … Take what advice they gave, but remember the thought during chillin wit Belial … Get busy living or get busy dying.
Look into a group like OTO or HOGD.
Remember creator/destroyer.
Also remember in your past life … Backstabbed by someone competing for power. Not everyone who glitters is gold.
Also remember the four laws.