Hi everyone. Fat, depressed, ugly, smalldicked, 26 year old virgin gay here. I tried praying to God and have not worked. I want to make a pact to some demon to try and change my body and financial life. But I have no experience with this stuff. Anyone can help me?
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Welcome to the community, I am sure someone will assist you and make your life better. Lots of people and resources here.
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Hopefully. I’ve already tried suicide 5 times in the course of 10 years
If you are feeling like hurting yourself, do you have someone you can talk to and know the number of any helplines you can call?
Magick is a path of learning, it may have a learning curve and a lot of time and effort before you get the best results. If you expect a quick fix you may be disappointed, and we would be sad if our forum made you feel worse.
You also have a challenge, as in your stressed state you will naturally attract negative entities, your first stop should not be calling “demons”, as those negs are likely to take advantage of your inexperience to feed on you and you won’t know it.
Instead I recommend starting with researching what we call “spiritual hygiene” and knowing how to cleanse your body and your space. That alone should help you feel better right away.
Scroll down to he third ost here for the spiritual hygiene link:
After that, I would recommend the entity Ant’harratu, from the Book of Azazel by E.A. Koetting. He will guide you through rebuilding you and your best life. Strap in, don’t be afraid of hard work, and you’ll find it’s worth it.
And no, no pact, don’t do it. It’s not the right tool for this job.
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Welcome @CHRONICLESOFMILTO It is a rule here for all new members to properly introduce themselves, so PLEASE CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW and tell us about yourself and any experience you may have in magick, such as what you practice, how long you have practiced, areas of interest, etc:
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Thanks, I don’t feel like hurting myself atm, but I feel hopeless and helpless.
The “no quick fix” did get me down
What of kind of advantages? Like possession?
I know how you feel, Yesterday and part of today, I felt really that I wasn’t welcome on this planet and the best way I can help I guess is to start meditating, it really does to cleanse our mind and afterwards, we know more what we want and how to get it. Takes the desire to meditate to a new level, progressively.
Possibly, but more likely parasitism and playing the impostor: so you think your evocation worked, but you’re talking to a worthless creature that will make big promised and can’t follow through, and you feed it energy in exchange for nothing but bad luck and more depression.
Read though the “START HERE” thread for the juicy bits, it’s got a decent grounding in all this.
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A lot of time with magick, you also have to put in the work yourself and the magick will boost it for you. Mulberry wrote it and phrased it better than I could.
I think right now, you should get some kind of therapeutic help. As much as magick does help with these kinds of things, I want you to get help first for self-esteem and mental health before you jump to spiritual help. Because like Mulberry said, you could attract Spirits that could make it worse…
What I do recommend right now spiritually is a cleansing. Cleanse your aura, mind/body/soul, and everything. Start fresh! And something to protect you so you won’t have parasitic spirits trying to attach themselves to you to make you feel worse.
I am sorry for what you are going through and please don’t hurt yourself.
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Id suggest Asmodeus.
I wouldn’t jump into a pact though.
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My suggestion is to work on your self image. If you keep calling yourself these things then you will BECOME those things. Call yourself good things, witness change from within. Don’t think you are stuck in this form forever, we are meat sacks containing boundless energy. Transcend the judgment of others and enjoy who you are.
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Yes, but no. Jumping into pacts without laying the proper groundwork (in your energetical body, your spiritual hygiene and your magical routine) will get you literally nowhere.
If you’re lucky, nothing at all will happen. If you’re less lucky (and what is more likely from what I could gather as an observer to beginner folks who chased after quick fixes with pacts) something will have a field day with dragging your already damaged psyche deeper into the downward spiral while playing pretend that it could, maybe, fulfill your wishes.
True pact making comes into play when you have attained a minimum amount of mental stability, self-reliance and an idea about what you are actually doing. A pact between you and whatever kind of spirit requires that both parties are able to hold up their responsibilities and as harsh as it sounds - mentally completely unstable people tend to fail the requirements in that department, making the contract invalid and maybe even -depending on the spirit in question- angering the trade partner enough to come after you.
The reality check is: there are no quick fixes. Especially not with that hefty set of deeply integrated self-condemning affirmations about yourself :
The good part is: starting with magick and sticking to it makes for a perfect inner renovation project. Learning about and applying the basics of spiritual hygiene, energy manipulation and transmutation, meditation and basic rituals (and I MEAN basic, not Dumbledores living room) will make you pick up new routines and self-discipline and it will help you to accept a new mindset and a new perception about yourself, inside and out. In the long run it will shape you into the person that will be able to actually hold the mental and material riches this path can offer. I can’t think of a reason why you wouldn’t welcome any positive change. So, start.
And after all of that you can maybe start to think about pact making.
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Ok so someone who has a family member that is in sort of your situation I can understand what you’re feeling kind of.
If you’re considering calling a spirit to help you I like to think of it as a personal trainer in that how is he going to help you if you won’t go to the gym. Bad analogy but you probably understand what I mean; you need to put in a percentage of the work yourself while the spirit(s) is working back stage.
In my opinion a pact for a newbie might not be such a good idea (don’t listen to me if it’s something you want to do I can’t stop you) because if you’re a newbie you may or may not have the discipline to keep your end of the bargain. A pact isn’t necessary.
Here is how I look at it when it comes to working with a spirit.
Mundane action + magical action = success
Meaning while this spirit is conducting the magick aspect of your goals you will be expected to conduct the mundane side of things: hit the gym, change diet ect or whatever feels necessary to you.
Anyway.
Before you work with a spirit (if you have not already) my suggestion and feel free to ignore this although it might not help you. But it’s all up to you. But keep this in mind.
- do you have Clair senses in check? Now from what I’m aware sensing the spirit isn’t necessary although it would help significantly greater. I feel it’s possible some spirits may even tell you to work on your Clair senses first but I can’t speak for any specific spirits.
I never been in this type of situation (kind of) before so I’m afraid that’s the best help I can provide you. Good luck. Keep your head up and you will turn all that around. You may not even need a spirit.
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I, as other members have already suggested, do not believe a pact should be your first move. You might be surprised to see how much your mindset can shift with a simple cleanse and getting your protections in order. Once youv’e done that, I recommend learning about each spirit and seeing which resonates the most with you. Approach that demon with respect and petition them for help, see how their energy makes you feel.
Petitioning and working with my first demon ended up becoming a gateway drug, but only in a good way. In my own experience, working with one spirit brought another to me whom was more suited to my deeper desires (I wasn’t even aware of these desires until the demon brought them front and center in my mind). Now, I have an entire team I like to work with and find myself regularly seeking out new grimoires and texts to devour.
If you do decide to jump into a pact, keep in mind that you must uphold your end of the bargain and will be expected to put in effort on your end to assist goal attainment. From my own experience, I would not personally enter a pact with a demon I did not already know/have worked with before. To be clear, this isn’t out of fear - I have found demons to be incredibly kind, generous, and sometimes motherly. However, if you aren’t 100% sure that the spirit that shows up is the one you are looking to make a pact with, you are just setting yourself up for a bad time.
I think Asmodeus is a good fit here, but his energy can be very intense in my opinion. Bune was my first spirit and she is incredible - she has always delivered financial petitions swiftly, and her energy makes me feel safe, confident, and focused.
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How do I contact Asmodeus and what can he ask of me in return? Can he change body parts? Like penis size? I know it sounds pretty vain, but it kept me from forming any kind of sexual relationship. I’m 26, gonna be 27 this Monday, and I am a virgin. And I really feel like dying because of it! Please help me, Csilla. I’m truly desperate.
I dont know about physical changes, but I can tell you that he can help you get laid. That being said, you do need to do your part to assist him.
Working with a demon is a partnership. He isnt going to just drop someone in your lap like a sexy-time giftbag. You still need to go out to put yourself in places where he can guide you to someone or guide someone to you.
If you look up Asmodeus using the search function, you will find many different ways to call on him. I prefer to get myself into a nice meditative state, use his sigil, and chant his name. That is usually enough to feel him make his grand entrance - when he comes, you will know. His energy is strong and very unique to him, and you might even feel aroused. Some use his enn but I know he isn’t particularly fond of it, so I don’t bother using it.
He can help you achieve strength and confidence, help you appear more sexually attrative and alluring to others, and will boost your libido and make sex more pleasurable for both you and your partner.
As far as offerings go, he has never specifically asked for anything of me other than a glass of bottled water, which I thought was weird until I did some research. He has never asked for my blood, nor has he urged me to do anything I am uncomfortable doing.
He can also be very blunt in his lessons, but know that they are important to the process. Since you feel so strongly about this issue, he will probably make you face the reasons you feel that way and guide you in overcoming those self-limiting and negative thoughts. Not to sound cliche, but size doesn’t always matter. There are many ways to sexually satisfy someone - if you aren’t sure how, he can teach you.
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Im personally doubtful that this is possible, but thats just my opinion and not necessarily truth.
What I do think is possible is that Asmodeus (or any other demon) can help you develop in such a way that size isnt important for you anymore.
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No deity can help you with that request (to change body parts), but they can guide you and open your mind to various treatments, that have a real potential to change anything you desire. For example, I started to lose my hair due to male pattern baldness and Asmodeus guided me to take dutasteride and even helped me find a friend pharmacist procure it for me. He literally opened my mind to search for the right treatment. Now, my hair is better by the day. No noticeable bald spots anymore and it’s been almost 6 months since I started my treatment.
Well that’s a bummer. Guess I’m off to try in the next life then
Try a penile extender. Start TRT (testosterone) shots. Go to the gym, get a personal trainer for the first month, to teach you the basics. If you don’t have money, just run everyday, eat less food and focus on the healthy-clean meals, like boiled eggs, roasted chicken breast, water boiled rice, pan fried greens, baked potatoes and stop eating breads, sugars, chocolate, alcohol and super processed garbage.
A deity might help you with through various methods, like intuition, suggestion, ideas, people, but in the end YOU, my friend, are the one who physically operate in this world and can truly change your life.
There’s no secret. We all suffer from something, nobody’s perfect. So stop complaining and start to do something for yourself.