I’ve been doing Middle Pillar every evening since mid-August. The first few times were difficult because my legs kept shaking, but later it’s been fine, and I hardly feel any difference after doing it.
Something started to change recently. First, I noticed increased tactile sensations (mostly heat) in various parts of my body. Second, during the third, while finishing the Qabalistic Cross, green spots started to appear in my field of view, or I saw flashes of light in the corners. I felt a little weird a few seconds afterward.
Today, however, I actually felt nauseous during the finishing QC. My vision started darkening a little, my legs started shaking, my arms started to sweat, my fingers tingled, and I thought I would pass out. I finished the QC, but I had to sit down for a moment afterward. It went back to normal after about thirty seconds, except my guts seem to be very active now.
Has anyone had similar experiences with Middle Pillar, or a similar ritual?
It sounds like energy sickness. Your system got overloaded.
Why did that happen suddenly? It didn’t happen for almost 2 months.
It sounds like you may be forcing it too hard, and that causes issues in the energy body. I would suggest being more gentle with it and see if that helps.
The more you begin to open up, the stronger the effect can be, especially if the MP has been burning away blockages. It’s like releasing a dam. It should smooth out once your system gets used to having more energy flowing through it. As Mulberry said, be gentle with yourself.
Thank you, I’ll try. I’m not sure what being gentler means in this case, because it never felt like I could control how much I pull.
I think some blockade might have lifted, because I usually felt everything very intensely until Tiphereth (pressure in the forehead during Keter; heat and stiffness in the neck in Daat; an intense hot sensation in the chest during Tiphereth), but Yesod and Malkuth felt completely silent. Recently, I’ve started feeling slight warmth in the belly and thighs during Yesod, and today my feet felt warm during Malkuth.
I wonder why it always happens during the Qabalistic Cross, though, not when actually visualizing; maybe that’s when the actual energy transfer actually takes place.