Asmoday-The topic of my struggle to set aside doubt in evocations could fill volumes. It goes back to the days when I was a Christian. I’m not bragging or trying to make myself seem intellectually superior to those who do not struggle with either religious or magickal doubt, but sometimes I feel that I am too smart for my own good. This drove my Christian teachers crazy and it is now driving my magickal mentors crazy.
But let me first say thanks to RavensAscent and Lady Eva for at least getting me to the point that I have had success with the LoA. It took a lot to get me to that point. And I’m hopeful that I can also find success in evocations in the near future.
But to the point at hand: I have tried evocation more than a few times. The last couple times I “tried” to feel the presence of Paimon and Bune. I felt by “talking my self into it”, I could mimic belief. But RavensAscent (who I have 100% confidence in), stated that Paimon told her that I had not contacted him (although he was aware that I had tried).
The reason why I can’t yet set aside doubt for evocations is because I’m very much hard wired like an atheist scientist which demands evidence before accepting something as true. But that is contra magic. For some reason, though, I was able to trust in the LoA. I can’t explain why. It just happened.
I think if a magician could sit down with me and go through a list of accomplishments that he/she experienced through evocations (which went beyond the possibility of just coincidence or the result of hard mundane work), then that would be enough to help me set aside disbelief. But magicians are usually private about specific things like this.
But I bought some frankincense and murr the other day, so I will try Paimon again soon.