My Troubled Mind, Thoughts and Problems

I feel like setting an expectation to be met is one of the worst things you can do to. In my opinion from a beginner standpoint. I mention this because multiple times I have set a perceived outcome in my mind and almost every time good or bad it has been shattered.

Envy and Jealousy are not good, at all. Not proud to admit but I have been envious of others experiences. I believe that for a beginner that this can tear you apart from what you are wanting to achieve because you are striving to have someone else experience instead of your own. Many times I’ve caught myself becoming jealous of other peers experiences and wishing I had that or some variation.

Integrity and Confidence are what keeps you going during down moments. Moments, where something didn’t go the way you’d have liked, are situations of this. I say this because I have been in situations where I had thought something was going to happen but didn’t. Sad moments where you are longing for that result are villains to our experiences.

Relationships with bound spirits are complicated. Many a time I have thought that after getting what I wanted from the Letter of intent ritual. My mind can’t rationalize having a succubus that is who I drempt. I think of betrayal and ultimate impostor being the subject of her being with me. Many times paranoia has stepped foot in my door and said “Hey she might be trying to kill you slowly like poisoning a person” and It kills me to think this l but for some reason, I can’t help it. Or just recently, “She may be an impostor, looking for someone young and dumb to choke slowly” I hate these thoughts but they stay ever apparent in my mind for what untold reason.

These are Just thoughts. I am really adamant on the last one for it has been troubling me for quite some time.


Thoughts become surrounding you reality. You better should focus on grounding and calming yourself, make some crown chakra meditations, and maybe spend some time with good nature beings like angels.


I totally get you as im a newbie and already wish i could do more, know more and live this path as simply as it seems to be for others. Some knew it since they are born others wait 28 years like me to know and believe about it. Im not always sure of all of that because it’s a huge thing to assimilate at first and we cant be blamed because sometimes we mistrust. I think it’s part of the process to accept what life is and that you can create it and take the control of it, we’ve been raised in a world of fatalities not of possibilities.
Yes im kind of jealous of others doing their spells, talking with demons and fucking succubes, yes sometimes a voice inside my head told me “this is fantasy” or paranoid stuff and yes i read everyday the forum and i got tje impression of knowing nothing and learning nothing.
Dont worry we are not the first neither the last but we have to accept and understand that our only limit is our own mind. Be trustfull in life whatever happens we are all slowly dying everyday.


I never really took any time to ground myself as I never knew exactly what it was or what it would do. As I don’t usually try to go and seek out other meditations because it might throw me off. But I might as well look for different types of meditations to help with certain aspects of magick. As for good nature beings, I don’t know how to contact any of the sorts and all I know of that category is angels which may not bode well for me since I have my succubus with me. Unless I am thinking the wrong way.

I am currently 17 and I know and believe it starting late 16th year. I intend not to lose track of this if I have the choice.

I feel like that is something that a beginner can fall into when working with a succubus. Because of all of the dogma heard about them and they being demons brings a bad tone to someone who has to start seeing these beings differently. It is hard to change a belief that is drilled into your head by culture and religion. Especially here in the western hemisphere.

I need to learn that your mind shapes your magick. If you think a spirit is going to betray you then it just might happen. Your mind is the most powerful tool that you have. But you can shoot your self in the foot if you use it incorrectly.

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It’s not a problem for angels definitely, and as to grounding it mainly means you should focus on expanding your lower chakras and balancing them but I suggest work with upper as well.

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You’re onto something here IMO. :thinking:

I believe the reason those of us who started as children often do well in magick is because children don’t have that filter, that things Must or Should fit certain expectations, happen in certain ways to a set timeframe, and (most of all) that they can only work with a spirit if they know its origins, sigil, gematria, astrological and gem correspondences - and then get skeptical if they can’t nail ALL of these down in some manner that fits a pre-existing mental framework about reality.

I mean, I get irked to the point of biting back snarky replies when people post trying to fit ALL spiritual beings, from nature spirits to ancestors to powerful gods, into a limited 12-sign or 4-element pattern for no reason other than, really, a quest to diminish and reduce the splendour and variety of the universe into a small set of “aspects” - a concept that derives from monotheism, where everything revolves around a central creator “Big G ‘God’” who has rules, agendas, and expectations.

And of course, this tacitly defers to the very same lameass religions many people are superfically trying to escape by taking up black magick. :roll_eyes: :laughing:

Children don’t play by those incredibly restrictive rules, when we’re young we’re still in Observing mode, not Labelling mode, at that age we DON’T think we know it all, and that everything must fit into some previously created model.

Our eyes, and all of our senses, are wide open.

Probably most of us remember not liking someone the adults in our lives fawned over, and later being proven correct - our unfiltered observation saw the truth, the adults saw the checklists, and ignored any twinge from intuition.

Checklists have their place at times, but not in magick.

If I meet a spirit with 3 heads, green necklaces, eating a coconut and speaking with a southern twang, I won’t go mad trying to find which part of the 4-element/12-sign pattern I can force this being into, decoding them like a puzzle, instead of a living being.

Instead, I will hang out with them, talk to them, see if we can do things for each other and maybe, make a friend, or alliance.

Maybe she’ll be an ancient god or nature spirit, maybe she was created by a non-human spirit as their child or spouse, maybe she created herself through hard struggle from origins as a servitor, whatever happens I am not going to make that kind of reductionist thinking the basis of my interactions with her.

I only care about results, and not trying to stand outside the spirit world like a zoologist categorising species. :man_shrugging:

They say truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction always has to make sense, whereas truth does not, it just happens: I believe the same to be true of magick, and spirits.

So, I can’t give you 12 or 25 or more years of doing magick in one text dump, but I am sharing to try and show the openness, and the value of becoming an explorer in a strange land, with a playful student mindset instead of brimful of the need to classify, categorise, and reduce down from a superficial, outsider standpoint the nature of spirits we meet and experiences we have.

Combine playing and magick, daydreaming and magick, and you can capture that wonderful feeling, silencing the adult censor (very useful in everyday life) who’s probably holding you back. :heart_eyes_cat:

These are some playful methods:

  • Creating A "Cabinet Of Invisible Counselors"

  • Creating an inner sanctuary (can be used to create an astral temple)

  • try inventing your own form of divination, that is NOT linked to the 4-element/12-sign or other pre-existing theories, see what works for you - put on your creative hat, say “if I was making a movie about a magician who uses his or her own method, and I wanted it to look easy and fun, what would I invent it to look like?”… things like that. And make sure to do it just for fun: you don’t have to impress anyone, there is nothing to prove to some frowning jury of armchair magicians. :wink:


PLAY! :blush:


I do have memories of trying to get in touch with my “Guardian Angel” when I was like 11 or 12. But I stopped because I seemed weird to my family and friends. I was a weak-minded child.

I appreciate this, thank you.

This is very true in my opinion.
When we are children most of us don’t see the world for what it is. Because we don’t have that filter. We believed in so much more than what was put on by the world around us. The ability for us to believe in things that become revealed to us as fake over time like Santa in the United States. In that believing state, we are able to put 100% of our belief into something, which is why some people who get into magick at a young age like 10-13 usually have more ability to put forth that people who start at their twenties. It is not a bad thing to start at twenty but at that time you are usually developed into the hive mind that most of the world is apart of. It is better to start later than never, always.

Thank you, I will read through these.

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Well try it now or just contact with some of Archangels and evoke them, pretty simple job.

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