My Struggle

Hey, I’ve just found this neato journaling section.

I think I’ll go ahead and start up a psych journal to use on my free time.

I used to believe it to be unethical to try to control other people’s will with magick, and now I feel it would be unethical not to do so.

For example, if there’s someone doing something that you find to be unfruitful and possibly even harmful, then you should use whatever you have available at your disposal in order to intervene.

Also, it’s just plain old common sense here and now to say that you should use magick for everything you find that you’d like to change or to have some influence over, and if nothing else it should be able to increase your odds with those things.

Why would you feel anything but excitement at the prospect of having the ability to control people, places, and things to whatever extent you find to be necessary for the fulfilment of your goals and the attainment of your desires?


I’ve been studying a while under the Rosicrucian orders known as AMORC and TMO or the traditional martinist order.

I’ve always been a Christian, and my friend Ieschoua was always there to help me out with correcting my thinking and forming new habits. He was always there to teach me how to understand the law and the prophets whenever I took a deeper or broader interest in them as a satanist, born a jew.

I find that my Jesus will also permit me to remain an atheistic satanist.

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As a charismatic Christian (one who believes in and moves in the gifts of the Holy Ghost), I’ve always been an avid listener of praise and worship music.

I still am to this day, since my craft is closely connected with having been a white magician with a solid left handed black magick playbook in my toolbox, trying to learn to fit into and survive in a world willed with Christian morals and dogma, and contradictory rhetoric.

As a native American, and an actual native born from immigrants breeding with the natives who were already here before they got here, my native shamanism is somewhat more Christianized than most other practitioners whom I’ve known or practices with before now.

I’m still not truly a theistic satanist, and nor am I a true atheist either.

I do believe in and experience something of a Divine nature from time to time, and that’s what I’ve found yet unexplained. I don’t really know what it is or what it should be called, so I’m just calling it Satan for shits and giggles, but whenever I’m talking to Christians I talk about God in the same way I would talk about Satan to another black magician.

It’s the same flipping thing to me.

I’ve even found many of the things the prophets we’re doing and even the core set of priestly folks who conducted temple and tabernacle related affairs to have been very “iffy” to say the least.

They were either practicing satanic rituals by way of judgment through today’s modern standards, or they were not serving the true God to begin with. It’s either one or neither of those things.

I have even found Lord Jesus the ascended master to have appeared very satanic at times, or for what it’s worth, almost like he was a daemonolater.

So check this one out, and I’m saying this as a rhetorical.

Those who venerate the saints and the archangels through magical means are able to get into contact with this Jesus Christ in the same way they’d initiate contact with any other saint or ascended master, through prayer vigils, invocations, and potentially through mirror spells and dressed up candle burnings, making offerings, etc.

Prayer and supplication, or writing, speaking, or simply emotionalized thinking in the form of a petition would make another perfectly acceptable means of reaching out to this mighty character for assistance, companionship, and to some even for salvation and mercy from on high.

It’s all a matter of what’s personally comfortable or applicable to ones lifestyle and core foundation of beliefs.

I have a ritual which I’ve been inspired to create that’s in it’s inception stage.

It’s going to involve the seal of Beelzebub aka Bael’s sigil, as I’ve found them to be somewhat rather interchangeable.

It’s purpose is to increase personal power in a relationship.

High john root oil, cedar, pine, sandalwood

Aka High John the Conqueror’s oil from art of the root.

Make 3 crosses with the oil upon the front doors of the home, saying in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. You may even want to use the latinized version, en nomine patris, etc file, etc spiritus sancti or something along those lines.

It will promote pleasurable experiences.

Write the name of your partner on the page where you’re about the draw Bael’s sigil on the back of the page, and then smear the oil over it. Then write your own name over there’s and add some essence of bend over from the 7 sisters of New Orleans.

It’s a simple spellbinding concoction.

The high john oils will increase the effectiveness of the bend over spells.

Finally, you’ll wait until later on to activate the seal of Beelzebub’s domineering energies.

Beelzebub is absolutely a control freak’s best friend.

Now, while you’re on the phone with or you’re chatting with (texting, emailing, talking with in person, etc, or even daydreaming of speaking with him or her, or them and imagining how well that conversation will be going whenever it happens)

Trace over that sigil once again, darken up those lines and clean up your symmetry. Put the essence of your target into that sigil so that Baelzebuth knows exactly who you’re thinking of and what exactly it is that you’re looking forward to sharing with them, and you’ll press further into a state of hypnotic trance with that person’s subconscious mind interacting with yours through Beelzebub’s seal.

Good luck to you all if you should choose to try out these spells or enchantments, should prefer not to use wiccan terminology.

Lol, boys do I have a taste for fancy or foreign women.

I’ve had the idea for tonight to begin a path working system in order to activate further and drive out unwanted attachments if any even still exist regarding each and every last one of my tattoos, making them into powerful sigils for manifestation and self empowerment, which was after all their original intent in the first effing place. I’ve had this idea whilst ruminating on the high john oils in the bath water that I’d been soaking in this evening after work.

I got out to dry off in front of the wall hanging mirrors and thought to myself, damn she wasn’t bullshitting you, and that really IS a big dick. Then was when the star of David on my arms just began to stick out to me, because it’s right next to the eye of Horus and the Maltese cross.

Anyways, I felt that I should spruce them up a bit before I even considered having someone else tattoo on my flesh.

It seems to be the most appropriate thing to do to just go ahead and explain to myself over again in details, what exactly does each one represent to me, and then to rework it as a sigil on paper.

Something as permanent as a tattoo could obviously be useful as a magical tool, but could just as easily become something you feed with hatred over time, isn’t that what most old folks are telling us these days about their tattoos and how they wish they hadn’t gotten them?

They’re either able to be revitalized with their original vigor or they’re not. However, the fading ink isn’t the only thing to be considered. The thoughts and prayers we’ve spoken over them is another one, just to begin with that.

This was the eye of the archangel Michael, Saint Michael.

Michael the Angelic King’s watchful eye is tattooed upon my body.

You may use this sigil if you would like to use it. It was channeled through Beelzebubs sigil on the previous page in my notebook.

In this instance, those two entities both agreed to partner as one impenetrable force to become a force of guardianship, watchmen.

My tattoos look something like this sigil, but are not exact representations, as this sigil has combined a few elements from multiples of my actual tattoo, which somewhat resembles the all-seeing eye of Providence.

Nonetheless, this sigil will make certain that even while strangers and friends alike may have their own ideals regarding what my tattoos mean to me, I’ll know what they mean to myself, and that’s what I’m able to control.

The oils you can see that have been dotted onto the symbols and around the page are wealthy way oil as well as a small dab of bend over oils.

They are intended for this symbolism to become more empowering and more prosperous as they’re activated in the subconscious mind.

They are to produce results which empower the user and which inspire thoughts of wealth and success at all times following the activation of the sigil. They will also offer the Watchful Eyes effect, lending you the sense that someone is always watching.

Since I’ve started to use these rituals and the various oils that I’ve mentioned here seen and experienced enemies cowering away, rivals apologetic towards me, and reconciliation with people I never wanted to hurt.

Tonight I’ve tried out love & attraction oils in my hair and even my facial hair product.

Here’s an interesting read concerning Beelzebuth.

I googled that name specifically

On that note, a personal note to add to prayers for a nation is to ask God for incentives for outworking one’s peers and outperforming other people’s level of job mastery, because if things weren’t competitive, there’d be very little motivation to improve much of anything at work or in the field of work that we’re in.

On that same token, on the flip side of that same token I might add, doing the minimum of learning and tasks the job requires of us wouldn’t cause us to earn the same wages or returns on our investments that others would be able to receive who were willing to become high achievers.

Drugs are bad, mmkay?

Never accept right away the things you can’t change without magick. Change them with magick.

Don’t expect overnight changes to occur whenever you’re living under the curse of having not taken control of yourself and your own reality.

Work through them. As someone who has been using magick for years and suddenly stopped doing it to please other people, and finally has had to work through it all over again, I know how challenging it can feel at first whenever you’ve done a ritual or you e created an enchantment or a talismanic object to carry with you, and so on.

I know what it’s like. Just keep on working at those solutions you’ve invented inside that head of yours.

For example, don’t quit a job you’re having a good run of it at just because of your coworkers.

Use a boss fix oil, first and foremost to make sure that it’s not because of your employer’s unconscious resentment at you that’s been causing coworkers to feel that they could get away with mistreating you, and then if you’re ever forced into any confrontations, you’ll have a sense of knowing that you’re employer will have your back. Then start working at those coworkers. Hot foot, banishment, bend over, jezebel oils… The options are unlimited. Then you may start using other things to push some more intentions at them and even more specific instructions for their spirits to give to their mind. Why do I say it this way? That’s because you’re an authority. You’re the ones who are engaging with the archdemons and the archangels, the gods and goddesses who govern the lesser entities which have the power to force your will onto people who are uncooperative, and in that same regards, to be some sort of blessing towards the people who are allied forces, so to speak. Those folks might even become more appreciative once they’ve picked up on what you’re influence was capable of and recruit you as a silent agreement for Conjuration of compliance and uniformity in that environment.

Don’t tell them you’re doing it. Just keep that in mind and it will offer you some unfair advantages over your rivalries.

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Love and attraction spells upon yourselves may help to promote the general senses of self-worth and personal attraction levels that would set you above your peers in general. The way that you’re able to express your personality should be able to improve and you would thereby be able to carry forth more confidence and people skills if you’ve learned how to love and respect yourself. Your interpersonal relations, your conflict resolution skills, your self-esteem and sense of self-awareness will set you apart from those who have targeted you, and you will reign supreme and become their superior over time.

Just do the fucking rituals and quit whining to the gods after you’ve done something like this. You get what you fucking get, dudes and chicks.

You’ll develop the maturity to carry this responsibility, knowing that you’ve tampered with the subconscious mind and the spiritual planes.

You’ve done it. Own up to the fact that you fucked it up from time to time. You weren’t ready sometimes for what you’d initiated or have been initiated into and you’re a fucking individual with enough vitality to continue fighting the good fight. Hold onto the mission statements and complete the fucking objective.

You’ve attempted to tamper with other people’s programming by giving them directives. That’s some insane stuff all its own.

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Some targets might have already been conditioned towards anything and everything except what you were trying to accomplish in them or to influence them with. That’s fine and good. Just keep hitting them with it until you see changes.

Don’t give up on a target simply because they have retaliated or because you’ve seen their resistance to changes.