34th day of practice in Kombination of Volunteer work (13)
Beginning:20:43 Ending:21:46
Pre Rite:23min
*
Meditation:18
All cleaned up…
Whole Qlipoth rite:20
.My Visualistation where properly made. I feel the intelligences have manifested on some level around me in this rite. They surrounded me and enshrouded my black scorging flame. In my spirit recitation I had the vision of a little black flame culminating together with other lil orbs into a bigger black orb. Wich I intuifly readed like it was a full qlipha construct of my working unto it. Filling it with this energy. with my flame. This Qlipha I supposedly is like the storage of my energy. And I had the instinct to put my vampiric tandrils in it to suck it my alchemicle working in me… but my time was short this time. But I know it isn’t lost… I will wait and further culminate it more… . Refine it more …
Whole minutes : 61
End Note
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35th day of practice in Kombination of Volunteer work (14)
Beginning:20:54 Ending:21:19
Qlipoth working (Whole):23
First bc I am a bit tired I got only the vague feeling of changing of vibration and atmosphere Polarisation. No good Visualistation. Only visions. Again from an established dark orb in the middle of a what looks like a dark spider web with Grey background. It wobbles with dark essence. Like oil but finer.
Whole minutes:23
End Note:*
36th day of practice in Kombination of Volunteer work (15)
Beginning:21:22 Ending :22:43
Pre Rite:29min
*
Meditation:15min
Too tired to visualize.
Whole Qlipoth rite:33
Too damn tired today. Get Visualistation correct on the black flame and cooling some of its essence came to naamah black earth. Rest was vague and tired ly done.
Whole minutes :77
End Note:
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37th day of practice in Kombination of Volunteer work (16)
Beginning:22:36 Ending:23:46
Pre rite:31min
*
Qlipoth rite:18min
Bc it was somewhat rushed I only got glimbses of orbses and visions about my newly discovered vampiric~parasitic Entity (Otriel - My demonic channel Grimoire 2 - will come) who resides in Gamaliel
Meditation:18min
Cleaned up…
Whole minutes :67
38th Day of Practice in Kombination of Volunteer work (17)
Beginning:20:55 Ending:21:40
Pre Rite :25
My focus was disrupted…
Qlipoth Rite:18min
Regained my focus an whole passion again… Ignition of my concentration. Quite a challenge if ones have a disruptive Charakter. The Rite has nonetheless its effects that are feltable in a subtle nuance.
Whole minutes:43mun
End Note:
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Today comes nothing also in practice. Our beloved Dog died… I can’t… I won’t
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39th Day of Practice in Kombination of Volunteer work (18)
Beginning:20:57 Ending:
Meditation:20min
Reduced thoughts. Generate focus.
Qlipoth Rite : 22min
Did the whole Visualistation and konzentration unte the sphere and correspondences of Lillith Gamaliel. I understand now it’s deeper underlying meaning of symbolism implied in my own way.
Whole minutes:42min
End Note:*
40 th Day of practice in Kombination of Volunteer work (19)
Beginning:20:41 Ending:21:31
Black Flame meditation:22.
I used C.Kendals Azazel Black Flame Meditation. It is strong. And works well with the Michael w. Ford work as Preperation.
Qlipoth Rite(whole) : 25min
I was too disturbed internally to focus properly.
Lately I have lost too MANY thinks…
I question if this is really my path.
Since I began it shit after shit is happening… But well I will reflect on that more clearly at the of day 46 there I end the Gamaliel working.
End note:
Whole minutes :47
Also thank you @C.Kendall
Fuck it!
It is too much. I can’t go on anymore like this.
This Rite and workings get to an halt.
I have the feeling since this workings I began everything disrupted from me and by me and in me.
I know I know. You will learn your shadow wich I I promise you I did. It is especially hard if I must get up 4 in the morning everyday for this shit under the weeks. And I practice besides this other practices wich consumes much my time.
But there are some thinks i have gotten from it. what I really want.And where my boundary are and has been apparently met and brocken. And where my mistakes personally are Wich I Councesly am not aware of or ignore it in some way. But nonetheless I must rest I must collect myself.
I am heartbroken, disturbed, unluky as reverse lucky Luke. And must heal the sores of my spiritual torn muscles nerfes.
I know I can’t like showing my cold shoulder to this working but i can Rest.
And certainly I will come back.
I apologize guys.
But I must do this.
I must change
Some thinks
LUX 
ANGUIS
Out
There is a level of truth behind joy of Satan’s writings that the Qlipoth is a deranged or dangerous and on some level blasphemous work on both sides (demonic and the abrahamic) really. Approved and aknowledged from my own expirience now for me at least, and I am sure by many others.
I didn’t go in with like prebeliefs or assumptions I got in with neutrality to expirience it first hand without prejudice.
My intuition tells me that ( the last more to 2 months I practiced the sphere of naamah _ not here recorded) and than to Lillith. First was everything normal here and there some remembarable expiriences and than snap everything is getting worser and worser and getting hard truths to swallow Wich isn’t a bad think either. But to be real how it is delivered isnt really necessary really. It isn’t necessary to loose huge amount of money for example getting accidents non stop deaths even, nah.
I feel like and reading myself these workings does not work well with my magical and spiritual blueprint and reality.And the entity’s therein well not all of them but most of them.
Maybe that was the strange vision of my dream of transfiguration with these strange vile entity’s filling my Kabbalah enscryped body in each tunel of sephira-qlipha and bodily parts.
If it does work for you congrats keep doing what you doing Idc really.
But I do care if it isn’t obviously working for me on the long run and I do not waste my time further on that.
I am tired and angry really and had enough of this journey and Wich results has goten for me now.
Maybe I do my best the next approach onto it when I figure more of it out.
But rest assured this will be not so fast.
Qlipoth you are a.
Nothing else to show as for that as my stance to it right now…
Great work brother, but it’s been almost 2 years, haven’t worked again after that, anyway IMO you are/were, forcing too much, no matter how spiritually you are getting stronger but your physical body not be able to accommodate that, balance your life as I said earlier.
Be Blessed!
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Yeah right now i establsih a weekly routine of physical exercise that i balance with the spiritual side of thinks out. I know that if you start a initiation and stop counciously in between the initiation didnt really stop it just goes on sometimes more intense sometimes smooth if you aware of it or not trough inner circumstance as of outer. Problematic in this situation is to stop spiritual practices alltogether and not weilding your daily life as much you can counciously with healthier decisions as to food, media, people and of such.
And right now after these two years i found some way and someone where i can properly learn from and do it corectly these initiation trough kabbalah the light and the dark side in short the whole three… . But at the end of it i still see myself as a left hand black magician.
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It’s great if you find someone, keep going whether it’s light or dark, apart from that I personally from Darkside only, light side working not for me I initially try to balance between them but fails miserably, so I revert back to my Darkside, I love it and proud of it.
Be Blessed!
Yeah i mean there are deeper reasons of polarity on a bigger scale why some individuals tend to be more dark or light at the end of the day or per decision of freewill.
But i think both sides would be beneficial to my black magical ascend and toolcase. So yeah ill do it that way and will see how this will go for me.
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