I have raised so much kunda energy and I can do it limitlessly now that nothing bad is growing from it.
The strong people made themselves. Just like the happy people had the choice. Every part of your life exists and still exists because of choices. If your social normal behaviors are constricting your mind down to a pathetic level, abandon them. You are way more powerful than a construct you made. You are whatever you please, with the right choices.
if you can’t make a choice to move past fear, your life will always just be blind circumstance, and chance, and that’s not even a full life. -Belial
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Good morning. I feel extremely anxious. Way too anxious. My h more than normal. Trying to work through it right now
so it turns out the stuff I removed from me earlier was surface, a little unde the first level, level. I have been releasing old trauma for like an hour now. It keeps coming to the suface and it’s painful but I feel it dwindling.
Today was marked by a reader as important, as they literally drew a card called “Wednesday, waxing moon” which is today, and a lot of other cards related to growth. I realize all the choices I made have culminated and now I am ready to abandon old trash in my systems to fully accept it.
Raphael warned me to not stop practicing magick all day, even in class. I can’t ignore that. I can magick up some good grades later, this happens NOW.
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Today has been worse than yesterday, but much more productive. I underwent a massive transformation with the goddess Shakti and the kunda force was cultivated to an… extreme force? I feel it changing me, and it’s not terrible but it’s not pleasant. I’m going to accelerate it to get past it faster. It feels like a haze is covering my normally joyful demeanor, even after massively freeing myself of all past trauma.
Sooo… yeah. Guess this is what @Yberion wanted to hear.
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well I somehow modified it to make it feel good. Somehow. it feels petty pleasant now, and shakti was just like “well i knew this would happen but i wasn’t sure when”
anyways, belial wants me to wok on clairvoyance now afte all the crap I did emotionally/mentally today. I brought it up to him at once point and he’s like “okay do it” but he realized I had crap I needed to do at the time.
So clairvoyance it is.
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I can see colors of energy now.
I looked at my hand and saw the “border” around it, tried expanding it even more, and realized why the old methods weren’t working.
AdamThoth called it like looking at a border, and it didn’t really “work” with my mind at the time, although i realize now what it was supposed to be.
Aura is the border, he was trying to tell me to focus on the place it would have been if I could “see it”. So I was seeing it, and I was trying to focus on a place that didn’t exist.
But now I can accelerate the production of this clairvoyance, expand it, while looking at my hand. I’ve noticed some cool things, like my hands being pelted with rainbows. I can’t wait to see it clearly.
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nothing crazy has happened today, except me waking up anxious and being anxious the whole day mostly
also nothing has happened. nothing at all, and that’s odd considering the build up, which was sort of followed by said anxiety. I am not sure what the point of today is.
I havent seen Sam all day, and I have thought I saw him many times, and that immedietely caused a fear reaction. No matter how much work I did. It was always powerful reaction in the gut.
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my bodies are acting weird, vital, alive. I’m talking to myself humorously and talking about life, growth, almost instinctually. I feel like i’m overflowing with knowledge and sexuality, and it’s nice.
the soil is in the air, pulsating deep within the plumes. you sense your sex moving up your spine, life is a dream and you hold it on high, taking you higher still. feel the power of your sacred union, dance like a heathen and line up the stars, the moon watches over with secret divine
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The basic skill behind seeing into other dimensions / the Astral realm, is to unfocus your gaze and look through the object or creature, behind it. On humans and animals it’s often helpful to focus on their zeal Chakra at their neck, to link better with their consciousness.
On animals, and slaves, the solar plexus / thymus gland is the best focal point to control them against their will.
On objects like photos you get best results when first really looking 10-20 cm behind the object, then focusing inside the picture as if you go into it, and look around and also see details not present within the window frame of the picture.
On solid objects, the best focus point is to gaze behind the object and then slowly zoom your focal point of your sight into the object.
If possible, center your view on the true middle (balance point) of the object.
When structuring an Astral matrix for an intelligence or object:
Focus on the void, empty space, entropy in the room before you. Observe the tiny spiraling particles of light, use your chi / energy control, to Form it into the desired shape.
Once the shape is stable, condense it down towards barring physical state, by drawing more void / emptyness / entropy, to stabilize it’s structure and fill in the required density (=matter) of the objects you’re creating.
Sincerely,
¥’Berion
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thanks, looking through objects was the best option for me. I guess belial actually wants me to work on it for now considering recent events “i don’t think it’s the best faculty for him to learn just now, but it will be eventually. Until then his practice might be unstable.”
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I saw gebo painted on the floor. I know it’s gebo, because I was thinking about divine symbolism and I looked to it and thought “gebo” before X.
I sacrificed a sort of arrangement of runes to myself, and that was the main rune.
I also have gebo etched into me.
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yes, gebo’s are the Spinning Infernal Energy / Void vortaxes that replace the previous chakras in your vessle,
after activation of the Devil Gene,
in unicin with growing into the Gatekeepers Gebo (=Chakra) Grid.
I was avoiding those terms when speaking about it publically,
to prevent the kind of confusion i get when i speak older languages.
You identifying it correctly clearly indicates your on the right path.
Sincerely,
¥’Berion
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Huh. I don’t know if replacing my chakras was a good thing, or what that really means, but I’m going to say it’s a good thing so far. I was assuming gebo meant something else, but in this sense I feel you’re right, weirdly enough.
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another synchronicity.
I said this in a DM to someone back in February, before the breakup.
Just before, actually.
I found this because I was looking through my bookmarks, and i must have accidentally bookmarked it. This happened BEFORE all of this, this is how soon this was being planned, probably years before too.
I didn’t realize this, but I was showing immense lack of love for myself and self worth. Whenever I got Sam read shortly after, the reader always said they had some drive to prove themselves and they didn’t feel enough, and I never believed them. I thought he was too perfect to actually feel insecure about being enough for me.
I guess I was wrong, we were reflecting each other so hard. I guess I was the cause, and the outcome. I guess I know now, today of all days
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I have undergone a sort of ritual of diefication. So far, the rituals affects seem to be working out just fine.
You’d like to work with me, I would suggest you direct message me.
Two times today, I passed people that pretending not to see me, two old friends. In a row, actually, in the same hallway, less than 30 seconds apart. That’s sad. I feel sad. I released the pattern, and the pain. I’m the problem. I feel sorrow. What kind of pain did I make for myself?
