My Introduction

I looked for the official topic page for this sort of thing but found none. So here is my introduction, or more or less, my testimony.

My spiritual journey has been very long and, at times, a troublesome journey that took me from learning about magick into becoming a Wiccan, and then moving towards Paganism. From Paganism I slowly found the Draconian path of D.J. Conway’s books. Eventually I found myself drawn to the path of Spiritual Satanism, in which JOS and Ea Koetting were the main contributors to this change.
But let me stop there and bring you back to when all of this started, and then finally tell you what I have discovered and how my life has been forever changed.

When I was around ten to twelve years old I began to read like crazy, and I suppose it ran in the family as two of my other brothers were just like me when it came to reading books.
But anyways, I began reading a ton of books and book series. However, I ran across a book series called Sweep. It intrigued me because it was a fictional book series that was mainly focused around Wicca and magick.
When I got to around the third book in the series I was curious as to whether or not Wicca was a real religion or not. So I went online at my Middle School’s computer room, which was next to the library, and I looked up Wicca and soon found dozens of websites talking about Wicca. And within about half an hour I had read quite a bit about Wicca and realized that the book series I was reading actually wasn’t making much of anything up when it came to Wiccan beliefs or even magick.
Now the first thing I did after I found all of this out was to learn how to cast spells and work with magick. So the first website I came into contact with was, and in hindsight this website wasn’t really the best website for learning about how to truly use magick, but it did teach many of the basics behind magickal practice.
So I eventually found a “spell” in which the author explained how to create a Ki ball of energy, and boy was I amazed that I could actually feel the tingling magickal energy on the palms of my hands.
Now from that point onward I was one hundred percent hooked to the occult world, and even though I didn’t I understand a lot about the occult world, I knew that it was meant for me.

Moving onward with my spiritual journey I began to move away from Wicca and into Paganism, and from then on out I began to really open up myself to magickal practices and started to have what many call a spiritual awakening.
And eventually everything just clicked; I could somehow inherently know things that I never studied in detail. I was seemingly more “advanced” than most people who studied in the occult and magickal practices. However, I had not learned the art of evocation and invocation of spirits; nor had I learned how to speak with spirits telepathically.
But I soon found the Draconian path of D.J. Conway through a YouTuber known as DragonFeather. So I eventually asked for the two “dragon” books by D.J. Conway for Christmas, and low n’ behold my Grandmother had gotten them for me even though she had no clue as to what those two books contained.
I learned quite a bit of information from those books, and with that new knowledge basis I also gained new experiences, one of which was telepathy when I contacted my Dragon “spirits”.
For some time I thought that this path was the so called true path that I had been searching for all this time, (as this was probably around three to four years into the occult).
But, as fate would have it, the Draconian path wasn’t calling to me as strongly as was the demon known as Azazel, who found me while I was watching some of Ea Koetting’s YouTube videos.
It was a slightly painful move away from the Draconian path and into the Satanic path which was mostly fueled by the Joy of Satan group, which also in hindsight wasn’t the best group to get mixed up with, but I suppose everyone grows up eventually.
Anyways I began to learn how to summon demons and as I slowly progressed in this field of “magick,” I also figured out how to hone my skills of telepathy.
And during this time I began to watch YouTube videos from Ea Koetting as well as The Serpent’s Key channel, (there were a few others, but those two channels were the main ones).
Eventually I began to find some information on demonic children, or in other terms, people who have (a) demonic parent(s). This led me to trying to figure out who I was, or what my spiritual ancestry was, (if you can call it that.)
However, I could never truly pinpoint who I was exactly, but during this soul searching time I commented on a YouTube video to help someone out with summoning demons, (because at this time I was pretty well versed and experienced with what and how to evoke or invoke demons and other spirits).
But the comment I made on the YouTube video led to both of us contacting each other via an app called Telegram.
We slowly began to become good friends and we helped each other out in many aspects of life as well to study and research occult topics, and we both were interested in seeing who we were spiritually. This led to us believing and being told by demons and other spirits that we were actual mythological gods; (later we discovered that this wasn’t entirely true.)
We wanted to learn as much as humanly possible about who we are and so I began to channel demons and other spirits to get information from them.
This all led both of us on an exhaustive, emotional nightmare, as we both had depression and both of us attempted suicide. However I was usually the one trying to talk my friend out of killing himself, and luckily I was successful every time.

‘Eventually my friend and I joined an online forum known as Become a Living God. We invested a lot of time and energy in that forum and both of us grew in knowledge and experience.
And all during this time I was thinking that I was a woman trapped inside of a man, I even wanted to transition via the HRT treatment, and eventually have the different surgeries.
Now sense I was one of those people that liked to write books (or at least try to), I attempted to compile a list of demons, with all of their sigils, all of their mythological and Biblical names, as well as other information about them. This was simply something I did to pass time and to gain more knowledge on the different demons and spirits out there.
Now as all friendships come, they do occasionally go for some reason or another, and it seemed as though ours was going, because I, for some reason or another, wanted to end our friendship, (this was a few years ago, so bare with me as I do not fully remember why I wanted to end our relationship). But I did finally end my relationship with my friend and I was seemingly free of having to worry about him all the time, and I could now focus more on myself and becoming a God then I normal had in the past.
After that I started to become quite a frequent spiritual reader as the BALG forum had a section for doing such readings. I slowly ‘mastered’ this art by continually practicing and honing my skills in this field.
Now I had ironically and idiotically finally realized what Ea Koetting was saying when he talked about the three god-like powers, which are omnipotence (through summoning), omnipresence (through soul travel), and omniscience (through divination). I honestly was very good at all but one of them and that was soul travel.

After about a year or less sense I had left my friend I began to talk with him again, and we quickly became friends once more.
Now my friend shared with me more information about how to actually become a God as this was our goal and the goal of all serious occultists.
We began to learn more and more and kept sharing our knowledge with each other, and I eventually found out how to actually soul travel and I was attempting to hone that skill like I had with a lot of other things.
Now eventually I started to watch a lot of conservative/republican videos on YouTube and I slowly changed my mind about being a transgender woman and I finally accepted that I was a man and nothing I could do was going to change my x-y chromosomes.
But just as I thought I was getting somewhere spiritually, my friend contacts me and tells me that he found out that the demons and other spirits we were working with were actually lying to us about trying to help us to become a god. They in fact would restrict us in power, to the point were we couldn’t become a god. So we quickly disbanded from all of the demons and other spirits we had been working with, and soon we started to progress in spiritual power and both of us were having relatively better success in certain areas of our spirituality.
After a few weeks with this new found knowledge I began getting into yoga and trying to find my niche in Taoism, Buddhism or some other eastern philosophy. Even so, I still wanted to become a god and I also wanted to find something different, something that would help me along my path. I was open to anything new, and I had no idea what was about to happen to my life.

On the Christmas of 2018 I had gone to see my father for the holiday, and he got me to go to a Catholic Basilica in southern Wisconsin. I was amazed at the beauty of the place, and we sat down in one of the pews of one of the parishes at this place, and I thought long and hard about whether or not God was real and whether or not I should go down that path.
(As a side note I had, at one point in the past during my occult journey, watched some YouTube videos on creationism and already had a basis in what some Christians believe).
But as I sat in that pew in the Basilica I came to a decision that changed my life forever, I decided I would pursue the God of the Bible and find the truth found in the Bible.
After the trip to my father’s for the holiday I found a video on how to go to heaven, and all that was needed for me was to admit that I was sinner and in need of the savior Jesus Christ.
So on January 3rd 2019 I kneeled before God in my bedroom and prayed my heart out to God, and on that day I became a born again believer in the Lord Jesus Christ; the Holy Ghost was indwelt in me and I became a son of the living and true God.
After I did that I felt such a sense of peace wash over me that I had never felt in all my life. I felt pure, and loved beyond belief. I knew that I was a true born again Christian, and it was all given to me by the grace of God.
As the months passed by I slowly started to change my demeanor. I pretty much stopped swearing, I stopped listening to rock and heavy metal music (which was my favorite kind of music), as well as other music, in fact the only music I listen to now is music based around Biblical topics; I’ve even stopped playing video games. I also got rid of most of my books and DVD’s that weren’t Biblical. I even moved all of my occult related items up to the attic of my house so that they wouldn’t be in my room anymore.
All in all my life has changed for the better and even though I still struggle with certain things, I know that God is with me and his grace is sufficient.

If you think I am crazy or delusional then I can not help you except pray that you open your hearts to the truth that is only seen by receiving Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and savior. But don’t think I am forcing you to believe what I believe, I’m simply giving you the Biblical doctrine of how to be saved, if you don’t like it then don’t sweat it, just know that it’s your choice to not believe in this.

Here is the Gospel message in a simple, but yet detailed way.
Even if you do not want to admit you have sinned, just know that God is still going to judge every thought you ever thunk, every deed you ever did and everything you’ve ever said (Matt. 12:36, Rom. 2:16). But if you are not saved by the grace of God then you can not enter into Heaven, this is because God does not reward sinners with an eternal life of peace and tranquility, he instead punishes sinners righteously for the wicked things they have done.
So for example would you think a judge would reward someone if they got caught for stealing, for lying in a court of law, for raping someone or even for murdering someone? No of course not and this why God will not allow sinners into his Heaven.
But God is a righteous judge (II Tim. 4:8), and is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance (II Peter 3:9).
God doesn’t want to punish you, he loves you, and that is why he sent his son Jesus Christ to die for all sinners, and in Romans 10:9 it says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.”
You see, once you have received Christ as your savior then you will have the Holy Spirit indwelt in you (I Cor. 3:16), and will be cleansed of all your past present and future sins. You will have eternal life with God in Heaven and your life will begin to change for the better.

Today can be the most important day of your entire life, so don’t hold off until its too late, you never know when you will die, and Jesus is waiting for you with open arms, so embrace him by praying this simple prayer with a genuine heart,
“Dear Lord Jesus, I’m a sinner, I’m guilty, I’ve broken your laws, but I believe you died for me on that cross. I believe you rose from the dead, and I’d like to ask you to forgive me and save me, and come into my heart right now. Amen.”

If you have accepted Jesus as your Lord and savior then you have eternal life and can never lose your salvation (John 3:16). You are adopted into God’s family now (Eph. 1:4-5), and are not sinless but are forgiven by the grace of God (Eph. 2:8-9).


Okay you’ve certainly had quite the journey there, and I’m pleased you seem to be in a good place now in terms of having found what works for you.

But I need to ask you to NOT preach to us, or post mentioning the superiority of your belief system, although you can certainly reply on-topic when people discuss Christianity if you want, so long as you keep it to factual stuff and not “you MUST believe because I do” kind of things? :thinking:

This forum has Christian members, Muslim members, and people from other religious faiths who are able to walk that line and neither compromise their own beliefs, nor break our rule against preaching.

And you mention you had an account before and were active so you will be aware of that rule, and what we discuss here, but just in case, this is a refresher:

If you’re okay with that, great. :+1:


I am going to welcome you to the Forum. Don´t preach. That about sums it up.


I understand, just thought i would give out the Gospel message of the Bible. I promise that i won’t force anything on anyone here, i won’t preach to anyone unless they are interested in it and send a pm, if that’s okay with you @Lady_Eva, if not then i won’t preach period.

I would disagree with the compromising of beliefs part but that is their decision not mine, and i respect that.

Yeah i understand about not having more than one account. If you want i could have the other one deleted. Might have to log into it and pm you from there. Let me know how you want to handle that @Lady_Eva.

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Understood. Thanks for having me though.

Welcome but you totally lost me when you started preaching. I spent too much time down that path, so no thank you, but glad it works for you.

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Well that’s fine. Its your choice, so no hard feelings.

I noticed that when you wrote about the balg forum it was as if you wrote this story for another venue. You also seem to have left magic for Christianity, which is your prerogative. So, why then have you rejoined? I must say that this comes off as an attempt at covert preaching.

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It was meant to give my testimony of being in the occult to comming to faith in Jesus Christ. It was a hope that whoever would read this testimony would aff least have the knowledge of the Gospel message.
It wasn’t meant to be covert it was meant to give my full story.

Translation: It was his “Witnessing” to this forum, in the hopes, that somebody MIGHT see it and be “saved”.


He’s welcome, as is everyone, so long as he bides by the rules.

He’s no different than the various Theistic Satanists and Lucifer worshippers we have here. I roll my eyes regularly at what they spew forth.


Its obvious hes here to bear his testimony in hopes others here may be saved, and reach out to him. “Baring witness” or “baring testimony” IMO is a form of proselytization. It borders on the covert side. Ones intentions must be weighed as well. Is he interested in magic, but happens to be Christian? Or, is he only here to bare testimony, and hope others reach out to him regarding his faith?

The point was to give you and everyone else the gospel message found in the Bible. If you recieve Jesus as your Lord and savior then great. If not then i don’t mind; at least you have been given the gospel message.
So no hard feelings.

If that was the point then that is proselytizing. Are you here because youre interested in magic, and also happen to be christian?

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The mods have already taken a look, and i was told the post qualifies as a legitimate account of the Op’s path.

Everyone is free to take it as they will. However, it is NOT preaching as it is written, and so violates no rules.

To me, it reads no different than those posts of people who were raised Christian and then “found” Lucifer.


I’m not that bothered if you have no intentions of using both at once. :+1:


Alright, thanks for clearing that up. I will only be using this account.