I had decided the day before yesterday that I was going to perform an evocation from this grimoire, but figured that it was a bit too soon to do it the very night I had decided, so I waited til the next day. Infact it has been a decision brewing over many days. There are some aspects of my life that I want changed dramatically and been figuring out how I would want to approach fixing these things. From the first readthrough of The Book of Azazel I had in particular noticed 1 sigil.
The portal-like sigil of Pent’osch. That sigil really looks so awesome and everytime I think of the sigils of this book I automatically think of this sigil. This is usually the way I judge my intuition is trying to tell me that this is where to go, so I usually follow this type of fancy.
I decided to read up on what this spirit can do. Before reading it I was weighing up whether or not I would summon the demon if the demon’s character turned out to be something else than what I needed.
But, when reading the character of this fellow, I was in an OMG moment. This guy was exactly what I have been needing for so long! I began thinking that this demon might have been in my life, behind the scenes, manipulating even before I first got this book, sowing the seeds for our future cooperation. This was just a thought though, I’m not saying that this is what I believe, but it doesn’t seem all that out stretched. Anyway, I knew now that this was just the guy/girl/thing I needed to summon.
From the very first I had decided that I would fast for the entire day until after the ceremony had ended. I would also stay away from Email, phonecalls, forums, and my roommates etc. I was in my bed for a long time reading in the Book of Azazel. I took a long walk while trying to get the incantation stuck in my mind. I have trouble enjoying meditation for too long. 30 minutes is nearly unbearrable to me at my current stage (because I have been so stupid as to get out of practice. I do that alot I’m afraid), and because I know that if I haven’t meditated that day then it would be enjoyable for longer, so I decided to only meditate once I had begun the ceremony. I wanted the ceremony to start when it was dark and no annoying kids outside doing their drone activities making noice. One of my roommates had ordered food (the biggest burger I have EVER seen! It was nearly impossible to eat once I got around to it after the ceremony!). I put it in the refridgerator for later. The weather was unsually warm infact, though it didn’t last til the evening. Around the time when I was getting impatient for getting to working the ceremony a “lucky” long period of rain started (it was poring down intensely) making the irritating kids outside have to leave the playingground, and finally allowing me to get some peace for my working.
I took a shower to help me feel clean (I had been sweating from the walk earlier) and calm, releasing the tensions in my body. I took some pants on and a T-shirt (I wanted to try out doing it in normal clothing because I want to sit on the shins in the typical kneeling position for the duration of the working), cause the pants would make it less rough for my legs to hold my weight against the floor, and the t-shirt because…why not…I might aswell complete the set, hehe).
Before I took a shower I began setting everything up. So I wrote the circle of pacts on the ground in my room with chalk. Put the three red candles between the words, and the four black candles outside the circle at each corner. Taped the door with gaffa so incense smoke wouldn’t get out and annoy my roommates (I live with three other friends). Inside the circle I had my cauldron incense burner, a jar with frankincense (I didn’t have copal resins, but since frankincense is a generel offering incense to cthonic entities I expected that to do just fine). The charcoal I used was the typical round cheap coals bought in New Age shops. I used two of these coals. I had my Book of Azazel with me alongside with my Evoking Eternity just in case I needed the exorcism given in that book, and I had a notebook with two pens. I had painted Pent’osch’s sigil on some thick paper by using doves blood ink (I love using materia magicae in my work ;-))
Now this part is far from a juicy as I would have hoped - the ceremony.
I pulled the curtains (my room is separated into two sections, 1 part normal room, 1 part ritual chamber, all separated by a curtain). I light the candles, light the charcoal disks, and began to medtitate. I did alright with the meditation. Not my best performance but I was alright. After like 5-10 minutes (my sense of time is bullshit unfortunately) i decided to start looking at the sigil. I did it the way E.A. tells us to, that is, eyes on the sigil while your concentration is on the breath. I had my eyes unfocused. THis proved difficult to sustain. Holding my concentration fixed on my breath and not on the sigil was difficult and I keept failing to hold the focus. Thats typical of me, to lose focus then gain focus, lose it again and then gain it again and so on. My focus/concentration is also bullshit. But I kept trying, knowing that I shouldn’t allow myself to become irritated with this, but instead just keep going. After spending some time unsuccesfully attempting to hold my focus on losing myself to the sigil and feeling the entity I decided to move on to the actual conjuration, and so I started putting the incense on the charcoal and begin conjuring while staring at the sigil attemtping to keep my focus on the conjuration instead of the sigil. This was somewhat easier. Although saying the conjuration inside my head seemed to help with losing myself while whispering the conjuration out load seemed to make losing myself harder. I kept losing my self, then regain myself, then lose myself and so on and on. Again, keeping my focus is difficult for me. I felt what I think E.A. calls the rapture many times during the ceremony (just like I do when I meditate in general), but I never could keep the focus on it. I kept regaining my mundane sense again everytime. Having to keep putting incense on the charcoal wasn’t helping on me keeping the focus either. After a while I decided to step up and start staring into the incense smoke while calling the name of the demon and telling it to come. Having unfocused eyes while in a slight meditative state while staring into the incense which apparently keep flowing up into my face for some reason had a pretty nice effect on the feeling of the ritual and I began to enjoy it somewhat. Having to keep putting more incense on kept disrupting my focus though. After a while doing this I decided “To hell with this”, mainly because my asana was starting to get really unconfortable and my legs had lost much of it’s blood circulation thereby getting that special kind of pain when even doing the simplest of movements, and therefore I started to speak to the demon, acting like it had manifested (though there was no difference in the atmosphere whatsoever), I took it like I just wasn’t sensitive enough to sense the demons presence. I asked the demon to give a sign of being present. I waited a while, silencing my mind with eyes closed. After a short while (not sure how long it took since I again lost focus), I heard a car outside start up in a much harder way than normal and since it was the only sound that I had heard for a long time and because it was so more noticeable than normal, I decided to take that as the sign from Pent’osch. To someone more rational this might seem a bit mindless and stupid, but through reading a certain book I have gotten a taste of what it means to take everything, no matter how mundane, as an effect of the ritual once you have entered the temple and begun the ceremony. That is, leave behind the rationale throughout the duration of the rite, and then take up your rationale again after the rite is completed.
So! I told Pent’osch that I had called him/her/it here to begin my work with him. I wanted my life to change to what I myself would call the better. I didn’t want him to change anything right now, this was just to meet face to face so to speak, but I told him that I would call him forth again and give him specific instructions. I asked him to come in my dreams from now on and teach me of the universe, of magic and such good things, and help me with my magical work and working with this particular grimoire from now on. After that I gave him license to depart followed by the use of the incantation done as an exorcism of the energies I apparently couldn’t feel.
The general feeling I had all the way through the ritual was a mundane feeling. The feeling that this is simply not working out. However, I have gotten used to knowing, through experimenting with spells that it’s not necessary to notice any difference in the state of mind to make magic work. Often altered states of consciousness can be so subtle that you think you are in a normal state, but then you accidentally do something so stupid that you normally would never have done (such as accidentally throwing glowing hot charcoal down into the waste shaft haha I was like an unknowing zombie that time and me and my friends are still laughing at it sometimes). Still, I have experienced that my magic seems to almost always work in the end no matter how normal my state of mind seem during the ceremony. It’s good that my magic seems to work, but it’s really annoying that I don’t get the spectacular effects that many magicians report experiencing. That’s why I’m working with the techniques E.A. gives, but it’s hard…
Anyway, the next morning I woke and tried to remember anything special I had dreamt, but everything was just mundane dreaming, and since it was still early I decided to go back to sleep again. When I woke up again I had slept a lot longer than I had hoped I would. I did remember something regarding magic this time. Something about crowley’s rituals, and that the problem with my magic is that I do not assume godforms. I got the idea that I should go back to Crowley’s Star Saphire and Star Ruby rituals and use these rituals along side with the ritual in the Book of Azazel. This was alright I thought, and I decided to do just this along side the work I have started with this book.
Now something extraordinary happened. When I got into the living room and my one roommate was in there we started talking a little bit about something stupid (nothing unusual there ;-p). Then shortly after he told me he had the most weird dream, and then he asked me if the name ant’harratu meaned anything to me. I froze! I asked him what he was talking about. Apparently he had just had a dream with a warlock named Ant’harratu talked about either he himself or me or someone else had opened “the first gate of pacts”. I emmidately asked him if he had been inside my room, and he gave me a definate “no”. Then I began telling him that Ant’harratu is the name of a demon, a demon of that specifik book that I have studied lately, and “the first gate of pacts” is exactly the thing that I last night opened!
This is not the first time that my friend has dreamt something that is related to my life or dreams. One time in his dream he could through a portal see me sneaking around some place. In the dream I had at the same time was a dream where I was a ninja and was sneaking around. My relationship with this guy is weird. We also have a somewhat shared imagination. He can talk about something funny and then we both get images similar to eachother and then we keep going on, joking it more and more ridiculous till we both have sore backs from laughing
Anyways, I’d hate if the spirits of this grimoire starts to use my friend as medium of communication. I don’t want him to have the cool experiences. I want to have them myself! I have been thinking of using a crystal ball for communing with this enitity for a while. I have also thought about summoning ant’harratu since he apparently showed up in my friends dream.
Anyway, thats my first experience with this grimoire. I write it in hope that you guys are able to help me. Perhaps some advice you can give or anything. I don’t mind how obvious it might be I can probably use it whatever you can give me of help
And I feel I must apologize for the wall of text. I hope it was entertaining enough to not feel too long a read.