I have been having dreams about my ex husband whom I have not been with in 10 years. He was abusive and we never had a good relationship . It only lasted 4 years total and I have never looked back.
In these dreams however we are making up, and feels like we’re getting along and even getting back together. But I fucking hate him! He was such an asshole and still is because we have a daughter together. He’s my worst enemy. I do my best to be civil and he is just rude all the time and constantly working to harm me in some way or another.
I guess I want to know if he’s haunting my dreams, or are the spirits trying to tell me something I’m missing? These dreams are vivid and I feel like barfing when I wake up.
I have done cord cutting. Maybe I should do it again.
He is not spiritual or into magick at all. He thinks believing in ghosts in nonsense.
Anyone had this experience?
To me it sounds like your brain is processin left over emotions regarding the relationship. I’ve had similar things happen with one of my exes even though we broke up almost a decade ago.
Odd quirk of the mind, memories, thoughts and emotions we try to suppress or repress come back stronger next time they resurface.
Yes, periodically an ex will show up in my dreams. The dreams usually involve having a relationship with someone else and then they show up and fuck it all up.
I forgot to mention that one night I woke up after having a vivid dream of him choking me. He didn’t do this in real life. I think he really was attacking me that time. I could literally feel his bony fingers around my neck and I couldn’t breath. Scary.
No. What happens is you have a daugher together and you 2 are bound, like it or not. Even if you are separate you are in a family connection with him through your daughter, you feel him everyday in her.
Don’t hate him or you indirectly harm your child. Keep him closer than your friends. Only then it will stop bothering you, when you will accept him in your being, he will vanish from your conscious mind.
I respectfully disagree with this , completely.
Do not let this enemy back in just because of a dream.
And you never ever have to see him in your daughter, she is an autonomous human being not an extension of him.
I hope you find a solution and get some better advice.
This is your subconscious processing over things to heal and come to a resolution.
The brain is similar to a computer in that way and when we are asleep, dreams are a way our brain does this in the REM stage. Research it, you are normal.
Yes, I have had it. The brains way of trying to process trauma to the emotions and if he was abusive, you could have C-PTSD symptoms.
I can only offer sympathy, since Im in a similar situation myself. No matter what I do, it happens every single night and its really driving me mad by this point, because its the only thing thats tethering me to my old life.
I have tried, he is just so angry at me. He will not let it go. Even tho he was the one who abused and cheated on me. He’s completely nuts! There’s no being friends, I have tried, trust me. Tho she is his daughter, she is her own person. I really don’t feel like me disliking her dad effects her if I keep it to myself. Which I do.
And you never ever have to see him in your daughter, she is an autonomous human being not an extension of him.
I hope you find a solution and get some better advice.
If you don’t like the answer, ask questions until truth eradicates falseness.
Here’s some gleaned from the original post:
You liked him long enough to have a child together.
You spent 4 years together, even if it wasn’t the best.
Your child is a living product of your combined ‘love’.
Now you’re saying you never really loved him. What’s scary is how rapidly other people cosign.
I surmise:
You’re afraid that you might want him again. The scary part is if you trust him one more time but he turns into “an asshole” again, making you feel like he tricked you yet again.
You don’t want to be bothered with future reveals unless you get answers about where it’s going.
You have a major problem with long term commitments when things get tough.
Committed to be with him.
Committed to create a life together.
(And hopefully committed to co-parenting). Now you’re committed to be apart.
It’s time to woman up and keep that last commitment. You can be nice, you can be friendly. You should.
In fact, I promise you it will hurt him a lot more if you make him want you and you never say yes, than anything else you’re currently thinking of doing.
Also, your daughter wins in the interim, no matter what happens.
Use your magic to elevate yourself, instead of running away from a single human that you must certainly can handle.
If your ex was an abuser,please do not think of contact with him because of this. This is just you working through the trauma. Stay no contact.
There is no good to come from inviting someone abusive and violent back into your life and it will damage the stability you have.
I think you have done so well leaving,many stay and their kids suffer. x
I never said I wanted him back. That would be…awful. I am in commited long term relationship with a great guy who I am in love with after 7 years. It certainly has nothing to do with commitment issues. Thanks guys. I think It probably is just my subconsious processing old trauma. Its what it was, our whole short relationship. trauma. I forget that part I guess.
