More Honest Journal

So it’s been 2 weeks

I guess I should start being more honest with some of the people on this forum. I am not new to magick, I am not new to any of this. I’m only new to the Goetia.

My Dream

When I was around 14 or 15, I had a dream that terrified me and put me on the path of the occult head first. I saw Jesus come down from the cross and transform into a completely different figure with fiery eyes. They pushed their hand into my 3rd eye and I could feel them for months after.

This is when I began to dig into magick and the occult extremely deeply. I was pushed towards Druidry, Psionics, and Dragon Magick / Candle Magick very willingly. It was like I knew everything about it without reading it. Then I ended up here…

The Waves

I could always feel myself being drawn to the void and the unknown and when I was young I would try to tap into this energy with no knowledge of what I was doing.

In my travels on the waves, I found myself in front of entities that I should have never confronted or even looked for.

One of them was Odin, and he completely destroyed my life. I went from being happy and living comfortably to homeless on a beach living in a tent for 3 years. I could feel him ripping into my chakra daily, everything I did was just destroyed. I could not find a career, I could not find happiness, I couldn’t be in a relationship, literally it was like a plague of constant depression and anxiety that would not go away.

On one of the worst days during this time I saw a cloud transform into the image of a skull with wings. It peered into me, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t think, I was terrified. It was like I knew the cloud was watching me. I dug so deep into the darker side of magick for years after this that I lost myself in anger.

Somehow again I ended up here…

The Contact / Recurring Dream

I stopped dreaming for a long time and 2 years ago the dreams started up again. I should let you know this was 10 years after I had given up magick and moved on with my life.

The dream was the same, Jesus coming down from the cross and reaching into my soul. Except this time I could feel that it was an entity I had read about known as King Paimon. I tried to dig in deeper and ask what he wanted from me but the answers never came. I couldn’t tell their motives, it was just them and their hand reaching into my soul. I could feel them crushing my solar plexus.

So, I researched again and my mind finally gave me an answer through a video posted by E A Koetting after watching several videos on the Zeta wave and Zeta personalities. It was a discussion with another occult master about Vodoun and Luciferian practices.

Some of the things they said were answers to questions I had been having for years so I click on this link and I ended up on this website.

The Rituals

The rituals I have provided on here are knowledge that I have from dreams, they are not written down anywhere. Some of them do have similarities to others and it amazes me how accurate I get the rituals sometimes when I write them down. It’s almost like I was tapped into a different wave of consciousness when beginning this path.

The Contact

Things begun to get weird when I ended up on this forum and of course with my un-clear thoughts and ramblings from wanting to share everything, I got some things wrong.

“I decided to attempt to lucid dream again last night, and when I finally entered the dream state I was stopped by a scream. It’s hard to tell if it was a woman or child but it echoed in my head. I’ve done my research on the screaming and have found it’s a psychological issue that some people experience before entering Deep REM. The issue I have with this is I never experienced the screaming until I began energy work and astral projection willingly. It always seems to happen when I’m getting closer to a truth like I’m cursed.”

Digging deeper into the theta wave meditations that I’ve been become so interested in lately, the dreams came back to me again. I was able to walk and control the things that would happen until I tried to dig back into King Paimon. I would hear screaming, the screaming felt like someone was being tortured and almost buried alive in a sense. They started to fade away and every single time I just wake up.

I can never tap into that wave of consciousness. It just won’t let me.

Then the dream happened again but this time it was different, I saw King Paimon and Lucifer. I knew that it was them. There was literally no question in my mind who they were. I walked towards them and began my conversation with them. They taught me a lot of things about myself and the questions I had been asking myself.

After waking up, I went from not wanting to do anything with my life and cleaned my entire house. It smelled amazing like I had hired a professional maid.
I sat down and went on a music and art creation frenzy. My mind was finally so clear I could literally feel them doing their work.

I was given a copy of the Ars Goetia, Lesser Key of Solomon and Daemon Compendium a few days later. This is when I began actively posting my thoughts here, I just didn’t want to tell the truth for some reason like I wasn’t supposed to be here yet sharing the thoughts.

Beginning my research on the subject… 1 Goetia stood out to me more than any other - Lord Belial. I could feel his energy literally pop off of the page when I got to his section of the Goetia. The sigil just called out to me. I could see an eye looking back at me when I looked at it.

This is what lead me to create a protection sigil imbuing my blood into it :

After completing this, I was shown the truth. I had dreams every night, I had writings given to me everyday, I was suddenly seeing the world the way the Gods see it.

I decided to attempt to lucid dream again last night, and when I finally entered the dream state I was stopped by a scream. It’s hard to tell if it was a woman or child but it echoed in my head. I’ve done my research on the screaming and have found it’s a psychological issue that some people experience before entering Deep REM. The issue I have with this is I never experienced the screaming until I began energy work and astral projection willingly. It always seems to happen when I’m getting closer to a truth like I’m cursed.

Evocation of Lord Belial or Invocation?

I began my setup of evocation like I had with King Paimon, Lucifer, and Lucifuge however something felt different and almost off this time. I could feel a different energy than one I was used to in the room.

I let the sigil take over and fell into the theta wave trance.

I could feel his thoughts entering my mind, I was completely tapped in like downloading the Goetic internet.

To be honest, I was hoping to complete an evocation what happened completely blew my mind and I just watched as a spectator ready to see everything. It was like I wasn’t supposed to be watching what I was being shown. I could see my entire life, every mistake I had ever made, my friends, my enemies, my family, dead relatives. I could feel it all and see it all.

Since this has been completed, I am now learning at an accelerated rate. I’m able to have visions of people simply by thinking about them or seeing their face and trancing out. I think I was given a gift from Lord Belial but I am not sure what yet.

Now I’m here

I’m not sure where to go from here but I will keep updating and informing people of my journey as I agreed to with Lord Belial in my dream.


He Finally Spoke

I attempted to perform an invocation of only Lord Belial and he finally spoke to me.
I was told this and I figured I would share with a lot of those of you are confused on your journey -

“You simply exist, it is up to you what you do with your gifts.”

Recently, he has been reaching deep into my soul and I’m not sure where to go with this but I’m loving every single second of it.


Contacted by Azazel

So I was watching the video that dropped today with Frank White in it and a lot of what he talks about happening with Azazel contacting you reminds me of how King Paimon contacted me.

Should I assume that there are bigger forces at play than King Paimon and maybe Azazel was trying to contact me and I was just too afraid to see into him?

I will be attempting an evocation of Azazel on January 1st, and I will let everyone know how it goes. I want to know the truth and why I keep seeing these visions.

The idea of being lifted from the veil reminds me of my first awakening and I miss the things I could see when I was younger. I think I may be initiated a new awakening through Lord Belial and Azazel and that is the secret that I’ve been given in my dreams.

“Jesus turning into King Paimon with fire driven eyes.”
“Lord Belial coming to me with a message that I need to accept and be ready to change before he can help.”
“King Paimon spoke about a pact.”

This is all starting to make sense. Thank you for this forum, and thank you for watching my ride.


Stop Being A Slave To Your Reality

You are always adjusting to what is given to you and shown to you. Stop questioning the unknown and look inside.

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Absence Of The Mind

Why do you continue to question if your manifestation is reality? You know the truth.

Ritual For An Open Mind

Ingredients :
Your mind.

Ritual Setup :
Find a dark room or a light room, set it to the temperature that makes you comfortable. Zone out and find your comfort.

Ritual :

Begin by opening your existence to the theta wave and fall inward.

Focus on your soul entering through your crown chakra.

Focus on your ambitions being manifested in your 3rd eye. See your future.

Sink deeper into the throat and feel your words and thoughts becoming reality. There is nothing to hide. You know your self more than anyone else. The Goetia are simply a pathway to it.

Focus on yourself falling into a rift of emotions that are completely out of your control. Breathe to the motion of your heartbeats. Find yourself surrounded by the inner self. You are guiding yourself.

Sink into the Solar Plexus. Imagine floating into nothingness. Feel your self, feel your energy and stop hiding. Focus on your inner fire lighting up your body.

Sink one step deeper, find yourself surrounded by every thought you have ever had from before you were born until now. Envision your love of yourself. If the image is so evil, why would it perceive love.

Go deeper now and find yourself rooted into the Earth, feel your root chakra. Pushing your goals everything around you becoming a reality. You are a “God”. The concept is simple, you cannot keep hiding behind the archetypes of your mind. Let everything go. Stop thinking.

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Azazel And The Purple Light

So first off Happy Yule to anyone celebrating.
Let’s begin…

I began my evocation as I normally do except this time I decided to do things differently. I pulled on Lord Belial and Lord Azazel.

The mind is a wonderful thing… I fell into deep trance within 20 minutes this time, probably the fastest I have ever done so far and began to see imagery that you’d associate with roman catholic religion and they began fading to nothing in my mind. One by one every image faded away and I could feel myself being restructured.

Then I saw him… Azazel stood in front of me holding his sword with his wings stretched out and his 3rd eye open. I could feel his energy explode through my entire house. I could not control his presence and did not even bother. It was the most amazing experience I have ever had…

“The mind is quiet.”
“Your mind is quiet.”
“Where are you going?”
“I said where are you going?”

I broke out of my trance and continued to walk out to the woods and walked until I could no longer see the city, I couldn’t see natural light and everything faded to black. There was no moonlight, no daylight, no city lights. I began by saying my chant to Lord Azazel and Lord Belial and proceeded to place my blood on both sigils and burned the sigils into nothing.

“Don’t let them see you.”
“If they do not see you, it is going to work.”

Then I fell back into a trance without my doing and my hand held the paper as it burned to nothingness. No one came, no one saw me.

Then the sky lit up with a purple and orange light that faded away just as quickly. It lit up the entire sky… It was beautiful.

On my walk home from my ritual, the lights and everything around me began to have a purple hue to it. I kept walking and then I saw shadows. People walking passed me, cats, dogs, cars. I could see an entirely different world through shadows, but the color remained the same. When I tried to look at the lamp posts, I saw nothing, there was no light but then when I looked away everything lit up purple again.

I am not sure what I have been given but I appreciate and thank both Lord Belial and Lord Azazel for their work within my mind and soul.

The first picture is with flash when the flame had apparently gone out.
The second is seconds later after the explosion of light in the sky without my flash on.

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Did I go too far?

So today things got weeeeeeeeeird.
Electronics are starting to go haywire around me. I’m not sure what’s going on because this usually only happens when I’m meditating, now it’s happening simply by me walking passed them.

There are some things I want to share here, but I don’t want to give that information to someone to eager to chase into the portal…

A way of saying Merry Christmas? Im waiting for the christmas tree to explode…note… It will be triggered through the lights.

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I don’t celebrate Christmas. I guess I’m save.