I’m trying to do rituals for a job to finance my next semester. I’m having trouble because money has never been a big concern to me. I’m just not that into it. It’s like food. Money’s a necessity for survival, but it’s just not interesting to me. Most I’ll get is a new minimum wage job where I’m scrounging for 8 bucks an hour, trying my hardest to please entitled customers, and enduring the gripes of my superiors. And what’s the pay off? Another semester in a community college I don’t even want to be in because I’ve been there for years. Hell the only reason I’m trying to go back is because over the Summer, I’ll be moving to NC with my family. I’ll be in a new town, new school, and perhaps have a new job. I want to leave with a sense of accomplishment. I want to prove to myself, some how, that I can grow, learn, and succeed on something. I’m struggling with the visualizations because I feel as if I have to do this, not want to. I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t know if getting a job and being in school are more necessary given the move or simply pointless. Point is, I need something to become more productive in my self.
What should I do? Is the job and semester worth striving for?