Mending Heart, journal of passion and magic

I am half you are following the advice and it is working for you.

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Thanks Angel, I know that this is just the first steps to an endless journey for self improvement, and to help give aid others. I am grateful to all the invaluable advise you given to me, the encouragement, and push that you have provided me, even when you felt unwell, or uncertain about things.

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12:04am
Final smoke, then off to bed, I’ll have to take the new pendant off in secret, wife doesn’t like necklaces on men, thinks they look tacky, and really doesn’t like the occultism, or anything related. Will attempt to sleep with my new pendant under my pillow. I’ll follow up in the morning…

Awoke a little before 6:00 am, feeling restless, whispered the words of magical power while continuing to lay awkwardly in bed. King paimon’s pendant still under my pillow.

My daughter and her friend who spent the night asked to go to curch, some non denominational Christian curch. The two had to be there before 7:30. I drove them. I felt naked without the pendant on.

As I drove away, the word denomination, as in the Gospel law was dominant. It’s been a though. Law, we have law of attraction, but a code of ethics, morals. There good and all. Protect the weak, and such, as a god, are we above such things? I have the audio from a few ok EA youtube videos scratchly recorded to my phone. Listened to one or two on the drive home.

Returning home and slipped between the covers.
Only to be woken again around 9:20.

September 22, 2020:

as I continue to search for some guidance, I allways enjoy reading about King Paimon. I responded to a post about the kings correspondence (ie. Likes, colours, planets, offerings and the like) someone had beaten me to responding. Thought I only know the clasic text book examples, and when in doubt, ask the entity themselves, why take others words for it.

The one who answered gave an awesome response, and I just wanted to say yes, and that afterwards, teach others of him. The King adores that, and I enjoy giving answers. then the most peculiar thing happened. The one who answered said this about my responce to his advice:

Thanks @Nolan_Toney, I will.

my question is, how do I become another entities will?
I am still working on my senses to communicate, but until then, I learn, apply, untill I know what he will want from others.

It’s a lot to find out, and I do enjoy learning about him.

Like the meaning of his name:

From the Wikipedia article on King Paimon:
the name “Paimon” purportedly meant “a tinkling sound” in an unspecified language. This makes sense, if you look at his Sigil.
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The symbols in the middle look like 4 bells.


It was the image I got when I first saw his sigil.

They will impart their wisdoms and knowledge unto you. You carry out their will using all of their knowledge.

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Thank you again, I am looking forward to it. Is the story of the four magi, is that a story I can repeat to anyone that asks, or only something that King paimon should tell?

That’s something you have to talk about with Paimon.

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Thanks. I really new at this, and feel honored in such a role he has asked me for.

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My offering to King Paimon tonight

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I have an odd question, I don’t know how much is real, it seams like a dream maybe, but it feels like it was from months ago.
To explain: I meet Lucifer, we talked, took me somewhere. All I have are just snap shots.

I do have horrible memory recall, and only recall like 10%-15% of my dreams.

I don’t want to offend any of the spirits if they have visited me, spoke to me in my dreams.

Thank you my BALG family

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Speaking of dreams, I had a strang one. All I could see was the giant face of my mother, sternly looking at me, a said “Kyle, your in trouble, you got fired from your job” then glared at me for the rest of the dream. oddly I was thinking about my current job at the court house.

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Do I have a lot to explain… yes, yes maybe I’ve said this before? Maybe I’ve told others bits & pieces.

Who am I, a mess… I was born in Reno nv, in 1980, and adopted to an LDS (mormon) family in las vegas NV,
From 1980-2017 I have lived in nevada, except in 1998 when I lived in st. george UT for 3 months.

I currently reside in Florida. “I’m so home sick”

Through my time in Las Vegas, and Henderson, and Summerlin Nevada growing up, I was into robotics, I spent hours in the school library, reading about robots, and wanting to build robots.

“My parents told me to make new friends…”

Had tons of toy robots, and I talked to them, wished them good night, have a good day, ect…

I also attended curch, scouts, and family activities. Most of my exstended family lived in st.georg or saltlake Ut. And travel there often.

My family also had property in mexico, or Baja California peninsula. most of our family, and extended family traveled there twice, three time a year maybe.

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Thought I was the devil…

I was bad, I lied, stole, I was a glut, and not very nice. Small things mostly I stole, nothing from stores, or other people, mostly from my parents, or lied to my parents, or told people what I thought they wanted to hear.

I would watch T.V. hours of t.v. and I watch mostly cartoons. I often saw cartoon devils, devils and angels on people shoulders, making deals with the devil, or characters going to heaven or hell over their life choices.

This actually drew me to the idea of can you make a deal with the devil? Demons, and found a copy of the foust legend.

“I would sell my soul to be with the woman I love…”

So along with robots, came my love of sci-fi, and got into ufology, and made a new friend in middle school.

“He could fall off a boat in the middle of a lake and come out dry”

An awesome friend, we read about Egyptian curses, paranormal activity, OBEs as we called them, and years later went and visited haunted locations around Las Vegas to see if we could capture ghosts on film.

Tons of orb pictures, full body apperetions, children that turn in to skeletons.

Once after a great shoot of a haunted park, we rested and an orb flew over the table visible to both of us without the aid of a camera.

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Right about now, I’m struggling with the difference between protecting the weak and attacking them, and trying to decide where exactly is the line.

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I say attack the weak criminals, thoes who by law should be punished, child sex offenders, and rapists, murderers. But that mho

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I think I might be a horrible example, but did you have a question, if I didn’t address your comment, or if you felt I left something out.

I guess this is more a question about influencing and illusions type of magic.

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you probably know that most entities do not care who you influence, or perform illusions against or for a cause. It would be up to you, if you feel that the energy, and time is truly worth those pursuits. And if you do, could you live with yourself afterwards?

I know when doing a petition spell, do no harm can be added to prevent injury or death in a task. When I asked King Paimon to please assist me in my employment, little did I know that I got the job because someone who had recently been hired need to have surgery.

Nothing major, but would be a month to recover, but never returned till now. I am glad he is okay, glad I’m I’m employed, but feel gilty I may have cause suffering to an innocent man.

This has tought me a valuable lessons.