I have removed some element of discussing things outside the request of the OP to the topic Removed conversation
Members are genuinely trying to help you here and sometimes people on the outside either see, or feel sincerely that they see, a better way to attain a goal.
However, just as recommendations for anger-management courses would not be considered a suitable response to someone posting asking for help cursing an abusive person in their lives, likewise, past this point please keep responses STRICTLY to what magick OP may do to attain her goal, and not to accomplish other outcomes. 
@NewToThis26 this does also carry the possibility members may not have such a recommendation or may feel that offering it violates their ethics, sense of what is reasonable etcetera, however I make that request for the purpose of getting this back on track, with thanks to all who have tried to offer other input from a place of genuine concern.
I am also going to edit your topic title to be more specific and less open-ended. PM me if you wish something else put there but the forum is busy, and this may help it rise above the noise.